"I imagine that one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, that they will be forced to deal with pain." (James Baldwin, Notes of a Native Son)

At the precise moment when the bells rang, the door of the three prefects' bedroom opened. Ashur entered the room, and went straight for his boyfriend, giving Zephyr a bear hug, as if the two hadn't seen each others for years.

Fayez didn't think it was cheesy, though. On the contrary, he found to be quite heart-warming the way they both instantly relaxed in their embrace.

"Where's Ake?" Zephyr, asked, his voiced muffled against Ashur's chest, as he hugged the taller man back with just as much enthusiasm.

"He's gonna be back soon. I told him to come with me, but our man is stubborn. Said he isn't tired yet and wants to train a bit longer." Ashur sighed, although he didn't seem actually mad about it.

"But everyone is supposed to be in their bedroom, now. You should have insisted." Zephyr pressed him, with a worried expression.

"Sweets, you know the Headmaster is very lenient with Akhenaton. Plus, he's been in a foul mood these last few days, so I thought he needed to spend all of his negative energy." Ashur explained, as he begrundgingly let go of his slender lover.

"By training? Sex is a much better way to alleviate one's spirit, though!" Zephyr exclaimed, much to Fayez's growing discomfort.

As the young vampire started coughing in embarrassement, Ashur's head suddenly snapped in his direction, as he was only now noticing the intruder. He eyed Fayez for a moment, then turned to Zephyr with narrowed eyes.

"Zeph, pray tell, what's the meaning of this?"

Unable to take his eyes off the ground, Fayez intently listened to what he guessed was the beginning of a quarrel between the two lovers. He was already starting to feel a bit sick.

He had known it was all too good to be true. He wasn't going to be accepted so easily.

He wasn't going to be accepted at all.

"What? Am I not old enough to have a slumber party?" Zephyr asked innocently, to his obviously unamused boyfriend.

"Zeph, we've talked about it."

"But boys just wanna have fun, isn't that right, Faye?" Zephyr said, while winking at Fayez.

Ashur's nostrils flared, but it didn't seem to deter Zephyr from making other poorly-timed jokes. Sensing that Ashur's patience was thinning, Fayez decided to step in.

"It's not Master Zephyr's fault. Please, Master Ashur, hear me out first before getting angry at him."

Ashur's eyes were on Fayez again. The prefect didn't seem to be in a particulary good mood, but there wasn't any intent to kill in his brown almond eyes.

So far so good.

"I'm sure Master Akhenaton told you what happened during my first mission..." Fayez started, only to pause when Ashur's eyes glowed at these words, and his jaw set.

What was Master Ashur getting angry for? Was it because of what Akhenaton must had told him about that dreadful night? But then again, Akhenaton hadn't been injured. Nobody had been injured, except for the woman that Fayez had saved.

Maybe it was because Fayez had still put Ashur's lover's life at risk, by refusing to take his hands and indirectly forcing him to use his magic.

He still couldn't believe that Akhenaton was a sorcerer, and, from what he had witnessed that night, a powerful one. Not only did he seem able to influence people's mind, but he could also use magic to do things as cool as lifting objects.

"Anyway, I was summoned to the Headmaster's office after that night. I thought I would be fired from the ISB, as that assho- I mean, Master Akhenaton had predicted, but it turned out I am not."

Fayez paused again, risking a brief glance at Ashur. He wasn't surprised to see that Ashur's expression was neutral again. He was intently looking at Fayez, waiting for him to resume his narrative.

Ashur was definitely a good listener, but Fayez already knew that. Nothing like Zephyr, who loved to interrupt whoever he was talking with to share his most outlandish theories - not that Fayez minded, as he found Zephyr very amusing and creative, in his own way.

"The headmaster said they didn't believe I had really intended to kill myself, but they still didn't trust my intents. They want the three of you to keep an eye on me at all times..."

Realization dawned on Ashur, and his eyes widened, as he said: "And by at all times, they mean..."

"I basically have to be your new roomie, yes." Fayez completed, his expression sheepish. " I think they meant 24 hours supervision. I'm sorry, I know I fucked up. That's - uh, a good thing vampires don't have to empty their bowels, I guess."

Silence. Both men were looking at him in a funny way. Fayez knew he had to shut up, before he embarrassed himself further.

Unsurprisingly, he found himself unable to do so. He was far too gone. Let's keep digging that hole, comrad!

"You know, since you have to keep an eye on me at all times, it would be gross if... Uh... Okay, I'll leave now, I guess. Just gonna find a hole in the forest and bury myself in it."

"No, you won't" Ashur automatically said, as he finally averted his eyes from Fayez, to let himself fall heavily on the huge bed. "What the Headmaster says, goes. Please feel free to explore the bedroom and the en-suite facilities. This is going to be your new bedroom until further notice."

"I'm sorry to intrude like this." Fayez apologised again, even though he knew it hadn't been his decision to share a room with the prefects. Still, if he hadn't fallen from that stupid roof, that night...

"Don't be. I trust the Headmaster's judgment. He must have a good reason for ordering you to live with us. We'll talk about it tomorrow morning, Fayez, if you don't mind. I don't have any energy left."

Everything was quiet again after that, and Fayez looked at the laying figure on the bed. Only now was he noticing that the man did look exhausted, his hair disheveled and his eyes a bit red.

Fayez then turned to Zephyr, who gave him an encouraging smile, before indicating that he was going to take a shower, and that Ashur was more than welcome to join him.

The man happily accepted the untold invitation, and a few seconds later, the door closed behind them. Fayez was left alone in the bedroom.

Well, so far so good, he thought. True, he kinda wished Ashur would have been more enthusiastic about it, but at least the prefect hadn't gotten mad at Fayez, and he doubted he ever would, in the future. The man was very reasonable, and didn't seem like the type of person who likes to argue for the sake of arguing.

Contrarily to Akhenaton and even Fayez himself.

The hard part remains to be done, he told himself grimly, as he thought about the third man.

Suddenly, he heard soft noises coming from the bathroom.

It seemed that the two men were talking, bursts of laughters occasionnally interrupting whatever they were chatting about.

There was a sudden ache in Fayez's body, but he knew he would not be able to find an actual wound.

Why was he so often feeling this way around the three prefects? He wasn't even in a relationship with them, so the fact that they weren't including him into their intimacy shouldn't have hurt this much.

It shouldn't have hurt at all.

He wanted to join the two men in the bathroom right now, not necessarily to indulge into any sexual activities - Lord forbids! , but to be with them.

It wasn't just him being envious of what he could never have, though.

It was something else. Something bigger than him. Something he had no control over.

He was so fucking tired of feeling hopeful half of the time, and desperate the other half.

What was he even hoping for? He didn't know anything about this world and he wasn't even sure what truly living felt like.

During these last three centuries, he hadn't been living, but merely existing.

He wasn't sure he could do it. At least, Zephyr was welcoming enough, but Fayez couldn't understand all of his sudden changes of mood. Plus, he was starting to realize that under Zephyr's charming and bright appearance, there was a latent and untreated anxiety.

It didn't make Zephyr any less fascinating, though.

He had been chilly when he had accompanied Fayez to the Headmaster's office, but when Fayez had told him he had to move in with them, he had seemed almost delighted by the news.

And now, according to the soft moans he could hear, Zephyr was getting in a very good mood thanks to Ashur's ministrations. Fayez felt like an hypocrite, as he was blushing while keeping a sharp ear out.

He was getting so focused on the noises coming from the bathroom, that he didn't hear someone entering the room.

Suddenly, there was an arm going around his throat, making him jump in surprise.

He tried to free himself, but in vain.

"What did I ever teach you?" Akhenaton growled into his ear. "Remain vigileant at all times. Daydreaming is the fastest way to get yourself killed."

"I wasn't daydreaming." Fayez protested, but he couldn't handle Akhenaton's knowing gaze.

"Sure, newbie. Whatever helps you sleep at night. You weren't fantasizing about my boyfriends and my name isn't Akhenaton"

"So your real isn't name Akhenaton? I always knew you were an impostor."

"Very funny, newbie" Akhenaton snorted, before letting go of Fayez and heading toward the bathroom, where his boyfriends were getting horizontal refreshment.

Fayez felt relieved, as he watched Akhenaton's thick braid dance against his broad back. The guy had actually laughed at what Fayez had said. That was a good sign. A very good sign.

The relief was short-lived. A few minutes later, he heard some shouting coming from the bathroom, replacing the previous - and much more enticing - noises.

"What?" he heard Akhenaton scream. "This has to be a joke! What the hell is the Headmaster thinking?"

"Calm down, and don't talk about the Headmaster like that" Ashur snapped back in a voice so cold it made Fayez freeze on the couch. "You're being irrational, Ake, and you know it. We can talk about it in a calm manner tomorrow, the four of us, and...."

"The four of us? Oh because now, there are four of us??"

More arguing ensued, but at least they were less loud now, so Fayez couldn't hear what they were saying.

It was almost even worse, though, because while Fayez couldn't hear them, he could still imagine what they were saying about the whole situation and it wasn't very pleasant.

Don't feel anything. Don't feel anything. Don't feel anything.

The bathroom's door was slammed, then Akhenaton appeared, with a stressed-looking Zephyr hot on his heels.

When he saw Fayez, suddenly looking so small and dejected in the couch, he paused, a foreign emotion flickering in his bright eyes.

If Fayez hadn't known any better, he would have said it was guilt.

Guilt, and maybe a speck of something else? Something like... concern?

No, that was even more unlikely.

"Come on, Ake", Zephyr tried in a pleading voice. "I know what you're being so afraid about, but I promise you it -"

"You know nothing" Akhenaton interrupted, his expression hardening again, as he turned away from his lover, and started walking toward the entrance door. "And don't go saying things like that in front of him, just because of some old fairy tales"

What?

"Ake, please, wait, Fayez is - "

Bang! They both winced as the entrance door was slammed much harder than the bathroom door had been.

Ashur entered the bedroom immediately after, a displeased expression on his face.

"Did he leave?" he asked, although it was obvious he already knew the answer.

"Yes" Zephyr and Fayez responded at the same time.

Ashur turned to Fayez and this time, he gave him a soft, reassuring smile. Thanks to this simple smile, Fayez felt his sorrow lift, if just a little.

"Don't worry, Fayez" Ashur said in a soothing voice. "He'll come around. There are some things you don't know about him, which make him act like an ass half of the time, but deep down he's the sweetest man"

"He hates me, though" Fayez responded in a small voice.

Ashur frowned, then cautiously leaned forward, before gently grabbing Fayez's chin, forcing him to look at him.

"He doesn't." he replied in a firm voice. "No one here does. Quite the opposite, actually."

Fayez felt like Ashur had just dropped a bomb. He said nothing, but spent the rest of the evening with a small smile gracing his lips.

However, as they all went to bed, and Akhenaton still wasn't back, he started to worry that maybe Ashur was being too optimistic about their current situation.

He curled up on the couch that faced the bed, where Ashur and Zephyr were currently laying. The couch was way too big for one person, and it made him feel even lonelier.

Around three in the morning, Akhenaton finally came back. He seemed calmer, as he entered the room so quietly Fayez probably wouldn't have even heard him, had he been peacefully sleeping like the others two.

He closed his eyes, and when Akhenaton came closer to the couch and stood there for a while, watching him, he feigned to be asleep.

Akhenaton eventually started undressing, and joined his lovers in the king-size bed.

Fayez watched them with a fond smile, as he saw Zephyr and Ashur instinctively roll closer to Akhenaton. They hugged him tightly, before resuming their light snoring.

Even in their sleep these guys were cute!

Relieved that Akhenaton was back, Fayez was about to finally sleep, when he heard some very light sobs coming from the bed.

Akhenaton was crying.

Because of Fayez.

He had ruined everything for a man who might be a bit rough around the edges sometimes, but was still a very decent person.

Now, Fayez was back at hating himself again. That was all he could do, as he never managed to just become a better person instead.

He did what he had promised himself, only a few days ago, to never do ever again.

As Akhenaton's sobs eventually subsided, and his breathing gradually slowed down, he carefully lifted his shirt up, making sure he was as discreet as possible.

Removing his nightly gloves, he put his hands on the smooth skin of his belly, wincing at the familiar burn.

The tears started rolling down his cheeks, but Fayez wasn't about to stop anytime soon.

Good thing he could cry soundlessly. That might be his most useful skill.