Everyone freaks me out, despite the gender or attitude of said person. They're all out to get each other and I want no part of it. Craig was different. Craig wasn't using me for anything and I wasn't using him, we were such close friends because we accepted each others' faults and just plain enjoyed being around one another. That was why I had fallen in love with him way back when.

The day I had found out about my feelings, we were only hanging out at Starks Pond.

■ ■ ■

"S-so why do you - GAH! - like St-Starks Pond so much - ngh?" I asked him as we sat down on a wooden bench overlooking the water. From what I had gathered, this was his favorite place to just hang out and sit alone. It made me really happy that he actually took me to such a spot. The only downside to all of that had been the few people who were ice skating on the pond, causing me to feel only slightly uncomfortable.

Craig shrugged and sat down right beside me, staring into the frozen over water, "It looks cool, I guess. Especially when the ice is melted and the moon is up and no one's around."

"It does seem r-really peaceful," I responded, my eyes locked on the pond.

"You should come with me at night sometime," Craig had said without so much as glancing my way, "You'd like it."

"Yeah, that - erk - sounds awesome, dude!" I grinned at the suggestion, feeling my cheeks heat up a little bit. It was weird, my heart was beating at what seemed like a thousand beats per minute and it was hitting hard against my rib cage. I could feel the beating echo through my body like someone was playing the drums inside of me - a highly disturbing thought.

I found myself inching closer to him without even realizing it until our shoulders bumped. At that point I couldn't decide whether or not I enjoyed such contact with him. I scooted away and frowned to myself in thought.

"Something bothering you?" He must have noticed my uncertainty. Then again when am I ever discreet about my emotions?

"ACK! No way! What - erk - what would make y-you think that?!" I asked, looking at him. I bit down on the inside of my cheek, hard.

Craig shrugged, "You seem a little out of it today," he told me while returning his attention to the scenery.

"Nothing's wrong.." I said, shaking violently and twitching every now and then while staring down at the thermos resting in my hands.

"Mhmm," Craig said and without any warning he ruffled my hair before putting his arm around my shoulder. When I looked up at him in shock it looked like he wasn't even aware of his own actions, "Calm down. Your twitching can get annoying."

My face was probably way too red, the heat emitting from my skin engaged into a small fight with the freezing cold air outside. I nodded and couldn't help myself from looking at him. Not wanting to get caught staring, I looked away but continuously stole glances in his direction.

His body heat was comforting, his arm securely around me made me feel safe and despite my efforts the beat of my heart wouldn't slow down. I contemplated on whether or not I could be having a heart attack of some sort but when I realized that this had happened before when I had a crush on this girl at school, I also realized that I may or may not be crushing on my best friend. Not wanting to think too hard on the subject, I leaned against him and closed my eyes because despite the fact that resting is a waste of time, it felt like I could do whatever I wanted around him; productive or not.

"Th-thanks, Craig," I whispered. He stayed silent and I wondered if he had even heard me but that didn't matter anymore because I had ended up falling asleep anyway.

■ ■ ■

As much as I wanted to, we never got to see Starks Pond sparkle from the night sky. A sad thought, really. I didn't know why I kept dwelling in the past, it's not that healthy and it's not going to do me any good for the future. I frowned to myself and glanced at the clock; two thirty-seven AM.

I allowed my lips to part in order to let a small, barely audible sigh slip out before going back behind the counter and getting started on making Craig and I some coffee. It's not like I did such things because I didn't want him to have to get up and do it himself. It's not like I wanted to see the look on his face when he tasted the coffee made by yours truly and I definitely didn't make him a vanilla latte because I know it's his favorite - or at least it was. It was purely for the fact that I didn't want him falling asleep on the job.

That's okay, I don't think I would have believed me either.

Once the coffee was made as perfectly as a twitchy idiot like me could make it, I carefully picked it up and went to where Craig sat. He was scrolling through his phone, his blue/grey eyes scanning the contents on the screen. He didn't look up until I set the cup in front of him. We made eye contact, his expression completely blank and his eyes screaming 'forgive me'.

I used to hear people talking about seeing something in the eyes of someone else, like fear or happiness, when everything else was carefully guarded. I had never understood how you could look into someone's eyes and tell what they're feeling until I met Craig. He never showed his emotions through facial expressions and it was actually pretty rare to see them in his eyes unless he truly felt such things and couldn't hold them back.

What he didn't know was that I already forgave him. There's no way that I could tell him that, though. I'm still frustrated and confused with his intentions on saying such mean things about me but I'll always feel the safest around him only.

"Thanks," mumbled Craig, picking up the coffee cup and sipping on the beverage. I nodded and sat down across from him, drinking my own hot coffee.

Then, like always, I examined him. I watched the way his eyes filled with guilt and nostalgia. I watched the way he stared at his cup before slowly averting his gaze to his phone. I watched how his muscles tensed up when he came to the realization that I was staring at him.

I could practically feel the holes being drilled into my skull as my former friend stared me down from across the table. Why does he always seem to do that? He stares and stares and stares until I can't take it anymore and I have to flip him off or ask him what the hell is wrong with him or just up and leave. Today was going to be different. I was going to have a decent conversation with Tweek Tweak. I glanced up and saw him just watching my every move. I took in a deep breath and got ready to say something.

My hand was faster than my lips and it shot up, revealing my infamous middle finger. Yet again, I couldn't do it.

"G-gah!" he exclaimed as usual, twitching and squirming in his seat. His eyes drifted to the window and he decided to play the staring game with the darkness outside instead.

All right, Craig. You can do this. Just say something. Whatever comes to mind first, you know? Whatever you feel comfortable saying. Even a short apology for flipping him off. That would be weird, though.. I sighed softly at the realization that tonight wouldn't be any different than all the other nights before.