'Now my thoughts so cloudy and my hearts so crowded with pain

I am so frustrated like my souls been taken away

Broken promises of everything that I thought you were

Thought you said this would never hurt'

○

"Nika you okay? You didn't talk much during dinner"

Just like every other holiday season I was staying at my parents house so we could celebrate together.

I could care less for the holidays this year though, my spirit just wasn't in it.

But I still managed to conjure up a small convincing smile for the sake of my mother's peace of mind.

"I'm fine mommy, just full and tired" She looks over my face for a second contemplating before nodding.

"Alright, you get some rest then. I'll see you in the morning" She softly smiles before shutting the door to the guest room I was staying in closed as I let out a soft sigh of relief.

I loved my mom but I wasn't in the mood for talking, I just wanted to sleep these next two weeks away.

Shutting my eyes I enjoy the peaceful silence in the room, it was comforting.

I slowly start to slip into a light slumber, and then my phone vibrates interrupting the process.

Softly groaning I blindly reach over grabbing my phone before opening my eyes.

A message from cyn was displayed across the screen, unlocking my phone I open the text.

The last place I wanted to be in my current state of mind was at the club.

I just wanted to heal myself in peace.

Rolling my eyes I leave her on read closing out her thread and putting my phone on do not disturb before laying it back on the nightstand.

Getting comfortable on the pillows I close my eyes, let's try this again.

"I love you" Jr squeezes my legs tight in a hug after unwrapping his new playstation pro, courtesy of me of course.

"I love you too papi" I smile ruffling his hair as he finally let me go.

He ran back under the tree to grab the next present of his to open, he was so spoiled.

"Bitch what you get me?" Henny playfully questions with attitude as I sat in the chair across from her at the small table.

"Bitch what you get me?" I retort with a laugh.

"New windows" She cackles and I roll my eyes with a smile.

Hennessy had paid to get my windows fixed cause she was in the "Christmas spirit" I was grateful though.

I had paid for all four brand new tires and a new red paint job which was expensive as fuck.

I couldn't complain though, I was just happy that she ain't put no sugar in my tank.

"I put you some gifts under there" I tell her truthfully, I always got her something for every christmas since she was a baby.

"I know you did, I'm just fucking with you" She laughs as I shake my head smiling.

Reaching over I take some greens off her plate and put them in my mouth, I had already ate but the greens was just hitting different.

"I'm gone let you slide cause it's christmas, but play with ya life any other day and see what happen" She smiles and I bust out laughing.

I loved my sister yo.

"How long you think he gone be up on that game?" Henny asks as I sober up from my laughter.

Jr was already plugging the playstation up to the tv, it was already mad late and my parents and grandma had been went to bed so there was nobody to contest him.

We definitely wasn't about to say nothing cause we let our little baby do whatever he wanted to do.

"Until the afternoon" I softly chuckle watching him excitedly put a disc in the system.

"Ma gone kill you for buying him that"

"Yea, well she gone have to catch me first" I smirk.

"No she don't, she'll just throw the chancla at ya head" She says and we both laugh, my moms aim when she had the chancla was immaculate.

"Jr gone have to hide that shit for atleast a month" I mumble realizing the danger I had just put myself in, I couldn't even be a good big sister in peace.

"Yo I forgot to tell you what happened yesterday" I blurt as the events of the previous day popped up in my head.

"What happened?"

"Tell me why I got a letter in the mail saying kiyo put a restraining order on my ass, I ain't even touch the bitch!" To make matters even worse, I knew that hoe stole my lola bunny chain and she was being petty holding my shit hostage knowing I couldn't contact her.

"You deadass?"

"Deadass. And this hoe got my chain, she did that shit on purpose"

"Wow bitches be wild grimy, if I see ha you know it's on sight" She says pounding her fist on the table with each word.

"Nah don't touch her cause she just gone lie and say I did it and then imma be the one going to jail, and I ain't fuckin going to jail" I chuckle.

"Man fuck her, wasspoppin for the new year?"

"I don't know yet, niggas been inviting me to mad functions"

"Me too, shit bouta be litty!" She excitedly exclaims sticking her tongue out.

"That's a fact, I need to get drunk" I mumble.

I was actually excited for the new year cause I just knew wherever I ended up at my night was gone be wild.