i am water

soft enough to offer life

and tough enough to

drown it away

-rupi kaur

Reading can provide an escape from boredom or stress, it will sharpen the brain, and expand the way an individual views the reality of their world.

Laurielle loved to read, if she could reside inside of a library then she definitely would; While receiving a mani/pedi with Andrea at the nail salon— her nose was deep in a book.

"The outing was alright or whatever, but Kevin's friends are definitely not my type of crowd, they're all a bunch of stiffs... and all they talked about were cases they had beaten from the past,"

"Mmm," responded Laurielle as she shook her head, but kept focusing on the book's pages

"On another note I'm kind of bummed out that you weren't able to make it, his friend was nice looking."

Laurielle had completely tuned Andrea out, that is until she grabbed the book finally getting a reaction "Heyyy give it back, what's with you?"

"You're ignoring me while I'm trying to talk to you," she frowned while turning the book upside down "What are you reading anyways, and why aren't there any pictures— it's just a bunch of scribble art."

Aggressively snatching the book back, Laurielle flipped it right side up before showcasing the cover, "First of all don't ever disrespect the work of an amazing author, secondly it's titled Milk and Honey... it's a poetry book."

"Sheesh my bad," Andrea said now holding her hands up in surrender "I forgot you were into poetry, do you still write?"

"I've taken a pause as of right now, I'll get back into it eventually." she smiled to herself and flipped through the pages

"What's got you smiling like that Lauri? I haven't seen that many of your teeth in a while..."

"Be quiet," a faint laugh escaped from her mouth as she inhaled afterwards "I really like August and I'm ashamed to say that out loud because it could all crash and burn in an instance,"

"It seems like this August person has really grabbed your attention, have you two attempted to explore the depths of one another yet?"

"Slowly but surely, and I've realized that he's opened up just a little more than I have— I don't want to turn this into a game or anything, but I'm content with knowing more information about him, than what he knows about me... it's only because he's already so mysterious and— "

"You're the complete opposite, trust me I know." Andrea slightly shook her head while giving her nails a once over, "Like I said Lauri, be careful."

"Heavy on that."

As their outing to the nail salon came to an end, Laurielle had arrived home— and seeing Cameron's Cadillac CTS-V parked in the driveway infuriated her.

With a contorted face of rage she stamped into the house slamming the door, and glared as hostility invited itself into the atmosphere; Seeming to be alarmed by the ear-splitting effect from the door, Chanel appeared in the home's foyer.

Laurielle slightly jerked her neck backwards in disbelief "Oh hell no, what are doing in my house!?"

"Listen I told Cameron that I was cool with waiting outside in the car, but he insisted that I came inside."

"I don't care what he insisted, you have no business being here lady."

"Well Cameron is my business so—"

Shifting all of her weight to one side, Laurielle folded her arms before asking "Really? Please don't make me act a fool up in here."

"Act a fool I don't care, just know if you touch me your ass is going to jail because I will call the authorities."

"You're not even worth it you conniving little slu—"

"Lauri." Cameron's voice echoed from the stairs as he made his way down "Have some class, she was just helping me get the rest of my things."

"You've got some nerve bringing her here, I can't believe you would continue to kick me while I'm down."

Ignoring her previous statement, he walked over to Chanel and gave away his luggage "I'll meet you in the car baby."

As she made her exit Cameron stayed behind to continue the conversation, "You should be happy now, you're finally getting your wish— I'm out of your hair officially." he said while viewing the home they once shared together a final time

"I'm not happy Cameron because I never wanted this, I wanted the perfect life, a family, and a husband that would never give up on me. I guess that just happens in the books that I read,"

"I don't have time to keep hearing about the past, what I really wanted to talk to you about was this," he pulled an empty pill bottle from his pocket "I didn't know your name was John Allen... that's who these are prescribed for, isn't it?"

Laurielle's eyes averted towards the floor as she softly spoke, "Why were you going through my things?"

"Now I'm no pharmacist like yourself, but I do know that these pills are some form of an opioid— oxycodone, hydrocodone etc..."

"Okay smart ass, your point?"

"Have you been stealing these from your job? Obviously you have, and it's clear that you've been consuming them because the whole damn bottle is empty, not to mention I found the pharmacy's inventory list in your drawer— you guys had an overstock and instead of you finding a solution to the problem— you're using it to your own advantage."

Laurielle laughed hysterically, but the truth was the truth; She had been smuggling leftover pills from the pharmacy and using them as a suppressor for her pain and suffering after the engagement was cancelled, deep down she was broken.

"You have no idea what you're talking about alright? Matter of fact, why don't you just get out?" she said now forcibly pushing him towards the door "Get out of my face, get out of my house, and get out of my life Cameron GO!"

"I'm glad that you got that out of your system," he said while grabbing her hand and opening her palm, placing the empty bottle inside he then said "Get some help."

Laurielle was soon left alone as the light to her life dimmed, she began to cry silent bitter tears as her heart gathered darkness. Her mind became clouded with a mixture of disapproval, and disappointment.

This wasn't the healing, nor purification stage— this was fury, a hardened heart, this was pain.

Self control played a major role in her actions, because what she wanted to do was destroy everything in sight, but why when that would do nothing but hurt her more? Everything she had worked so hard for, all of her accomplishments did not need to be sacrificed due to temporary emotions.

In the midst of her doing some self examining, her phone rang— seeing August's name appear on the screen she sighed, usually she'd be extremely excited to hear from him, contemplating on whether or not to answer she eventually did , "Hello?"

"You were forged in the fire, made by the city, thought you would give up on life— you never did it and you stayed so pretty."

She sniffled a bit while using her index finger to wipe the remainder of her tears, "Aww that was so sweet, I'm unfamiliar with that though. Who is it by?"

"Yours truly... " he then paused before continuing "What's the matter Lauri?"

"I'm just having a day that's all,"

"I know what you mean, would you like to know what relaxes me when I'm having a 'day'?"

"By all means..." she said giving him the green light to continue

"A cozy spot on the sofa, soft music playing in the background, fresh rain incense, and a big ol' bowl of gumbo."

"Gumbo?" she questioned while scrunching her face

"Yeah, cajun style— with the O.G cast iron skillet cornbread, drizzle a tad bit of honey on that mother and you're in heaven."

"Sheesh you're making me hungry just talking about it August."

"Well I'm glad I've worked up your appetite, because that's exactly what's on the menu for tonight, will you attend dinner with me please?"

Laurielle's mouth dropped for a second, "Y-You mean you want me to come to your house? Finally?"

"What do you mean finally?" he chuckled "It's not like I made you wait a year or something, but yeah I'd definitely enjoy your company if you don't mind..."

"That sounds great, I'll just need a little time to freshen up and I'll be on my way."

After receiving the address from him, the call ended as she headed upstairs to spruce her appearance. Unfortunately she had consumed more of the pills as well.

August lived in an A-framed, cabin inspired home which sat in the middle of the woods. Of course his living conditions further intrigued her beings that she had never experienced anything like it, while he finished up cooking she explored the home on her own with his permission.

"You have an awful lot of books, like myself." she grinned causing him to look up from the pot he was stirring in "I honestly don't even see why you made that trip to the library, you have one right here."

"That's true but I wanted to keep adding to my book collection, I'm short one— you know Milk and Honey?" he said sarcastically with a smirk "I ALMOST had it but this lady came along and bribed me—"

Laurielle smacked her lips as he laughed, "Really? Tell the truth sir, you gave it up when I refused to take it several times."

"Is that what happened? I don't recall."

"Whatever, we can take turns." she shrugged and approached a wall of art "These are fire..."

"Look a little closer and you'll see who the artist is,"

Doing as told, she squinted a bit before widening her eyes in disbelief "No way, August you did these!?"

"Yeah, it's my profession— I'm an artist. I sell my work online... it's whatever I guess."

"This isn't just whatever , never downplay yourself because this is raw talent. Obviously people love it if they're buying."

He shrugged it off while using a ladle to place their gumbo into bowls, "Food's done."

She happily clapped her hands together while dancing her way into the kitchen to retrieve her meal, "Thank you handsome..."

"Careful, it's hot."

"I've got it." she batted her eyes and gave him a reassuring smile before taking a seat on the sofa

August soon joined her as they said their grace, she had never had gumbo before so of course it was a huge deal to her, especially since August had put his foot in it.

"Mmm, I just love a man that can cook."

"Do you?" he asked sounding intrigued "I could cook for you all the time if you'd like..."

"I would like." she then moved closer to him as his body stiffened due to her being in his personal space, he nervously began crushing his cornbread into pieces, and stirred it into the bowl with the gumbo "Does it taste better that way?"

"To me, but everybody prefers it their own way."

Laurielle decided to mix her cornbread and gumbo together as well, and discovered a whole new flavor combination, "Oh yeahhhh, that's definitely better."

"Why were you crying Lauri?"

"Excuse me?"

"On the phone earlier when I called you, why were you crying?" he asked again

She exhaled deeply and shook her head, "If I explained it to you, you'd call me crazy."

He gently placed his hand in the middle of her back, rubbing in a slow circular motion, "No I wouldn't."

"I got into an argument with my ex, but it's all good— he's moved out completely and I'm getting all of the locks changed tomorrow, that way he can't enter my house again with his little chicken head of a girlfriend."

"Moved out? Locks changed? Don't tell me you two were still living together during the cancellation of your engagement?" he questioned as she nodded "Not only is that insane, that's unhealthy Lauri."

"See." she pointed her finger in his face "I just said you'd call me crazy..."

"I didn't call you crazy, I used the term insane which best described your circumstance in my own opinion, calm down." he lowered her finger "So how are you coping with all of this?"

"I'm just dealing you know?"

"I don't believe that, I know for a fact you have some sort of mechanism you cling to during these times, so what is it Lauri?"

"Why are you being so pushy right now? Can't we just go back to enjoying our food, the music, incense, and each other's company!?" she said with a hint of frustration causing him to silence himself "Thank you."

Once they had finished their food, the silence continued between the two as they maneuvered around the kitchen, cleaning up.

"Reading," she said now breaking the tension "That's my coping mechanism, I read and it calms me down. It also transfers me into like this fantasy world, and there is where I don't have to deal with any of this. The heartbreak, the lies and betrayal— I apologize for snapping at you August, forgive me?"

"Forgiven, and I'm sure that's a touchy subject for you so now I know what line not to cross. Setting boundaries are very important, but I also want you to know that I'd never judge you for anything you do."

"Anything?" she lowered her head after she asked

"Mhmm, I'm the last person that could judge someone."

She soon wrapped her arms around his torso, drawing his body closer— feeding off of his radiating energy she felt at peace, his calm spirit, the warmth exuding from him, it all soothed her internal pain temporarily.

"I'm just tired of being hurt August," she whispered while sinking against his chest as her tears stained the shirt he wore

"I won't hurt you Lauri, and I promise to not let anyone else hurt you either— you've been an amazing friend to me so I owe you that."

Tilting her head back she poked out her bottom lip, "Friend?"

"Uhhhh yeah." he said in a duh tone before laughing, "That's how it always starts out... Now go over there and have a seat while I go change my shirt, be back in a sec."

"I wonder does that mean I'll have a shot then, if so I'm shooting." she said to herself before pretending to act as if she were on a basketball court

"I said sit your happy go lucky ass down," he said as she quickly took a seat

"Sorry..."