love made the danger

in you look like safety

rupi kaur

August and Laurielle found themselves spending more time with one another, in Idyllwild of course since he wasn't quite ready yet to venture into the city again. Nevertheless, she made it possible and never complained.

"I thought we came in here to purchase the items you'd actually need to cook for dinner tonight," he huffed while sluggishly pushing the shopping cart behind her "Instead, you're picking up random junk..."

"What happened to working on the way that you speak to me, hmmph?"

His eyebrows became furrowed with confusion, "I wasn't being rude that time, was I?"

"Relax August, I'm only teasing— we've got everything we need now so let's go, it's starting to get a little crowded in here anyways."

August hesitantly averted his gaze towards the other shoppers, his attention had solely been on Laurielle to the point he didn't even notice; First came the chest pains, and then the numbness in his fingers and toes,

An off pitched ring sounded off in his ears, with a shortness of breath as he began panting, during his episode there were a few people who stared while wondering what the hell was happening with him,

"I-I can't breathe, Lauri..." he stressed as she quickly came to his side, she wrapped her arms around his waist slightly holding him up as he grew weak "They're staring at me, aren't they?"

"Ignore them August it's going to be fine, just hold on to me while I get you out of here as quickly as I can, take deep breaths and try to relax ... I'm here."

He obliged while allowing her to escort him out of the store and into the car, she went back inside to pay for and retrieve the groceries,

Sulking in embarrassment August felt less of a man in that moment, if anything he tried to regain focus and think back to what exactly caused his social anxiety.

Maybe it was all of the bullying he endured in school, or constantly being scrutinized by his mother; The conflict, abuse, and trauma were all an unpleasant reminder of just how awful his life had been,

Even at twenty seven, the cowardly little boy still lived on within him— he began to worry about Laurielle, because she too could easily trigger his anxiety.

As they traveled in silence August sat perfectly still, and never once stopped looking out of the window.

"You did good honey," Laurielle reassured him while extending her hand in his direction

He interlocked their fingers, giving her hand a slight squeeze— that was his way of saying thank you.

"Before you start overthinking and getting all worried, just know that I'm going to be fine. going to be fine August, I know you're having a little trouble when it comes down to your anxiety, but I'm here to help and not judge. There won't ever be a thing that you'd have to hide from me, your phobia may not be permanent... but since it's here in the present own it, because it's yours."

"How could I ever own something I'm so uncomfortable with Lauri?"

She shrugged a bit, "We'll tackle it day by day."

"You're way too patient with me..." he mumbled as the conversation ended there

They had finally arrived at his grandparents' home again, Laurielle prepared a hearty dinner as the two of them sat at the dining table, August became mute for the majority of the night.

"So, what do you think of my cooking?" she questioned as he nodded "I guess this could be our thing now, we can cook for one another every other night."

"Also..." she continued to speak "I'll be a little busy next week— we had to terminate someone a few days ago so I'll be covering that shift as well, I just thought I'd let you know since that'd put a small stop to me traveling out here."

The sound of his fork clashing against the glass plate caused Laurielle to look up at him, "Is something wrong August?"

"I've grown accustomed to having you here, it'll be a little difficult for me— I have attachment issues with you, just you... it's only been you." he stressed seeming as though he disliked that he had gotten so attached "I understand though, business first."

"You still seem upset,"

"I ain't upset Cher, I'm just gonna miss seeing your beautiful face everyday— that gorgeous smile, the way you start whining whenever I wake you up early in the morning." he chuckled causing her to laugh as well "I've been cherishing small things like that..."

"You're so sweet."

"I guess what I'm also saying is that, I get lonely too even though I have this fear of socializing."

"How is it that you've grown so attached to me, and you're not afraid of my presence then?"

"You haven't given me a reason to be fearful, and you never judge me so it's easier for me to be accepting... Laurielle I'm falling more and more each day, little by little you're gaining access to my heart which I didn't even think would be possible."

"Aww August, I literally feel the exact same way." she beamed with excitement "What if for this week coming up you come to Pasadena, and spend time with me in my house?"

"I don't know Lauri,"

"Pretty please? I promise it'll be fun and I'll make sure you're comfortable— there's nothing to worry about. The locks have been changed, Cameron no longer has access to my home or to me, I swear."

"I wasn't worried about him no way, but that's good to know."

"Does that mean you'll do it?"

He slightly rubbed his chin while thinking," I'll take it into consideration first, can I do that before I give you a definite answer?"

She happily rushed to his side of the table as she sat in his lap, "Yayyy! Are you finished, because I was hoping we could wrap up dinner and go straight into dessert."

"What did you have in mind?" he questioned and gently began squeezing her thighs

"I made an Oreo cheesecake,"

"From scratch?" he furrowed his eyebrows as she nodded "Nuh uh go get it and let me see what it's hittin' for, I love cheesecake so I'll definitely be the judge."

"Boy this isn't my first rodeo, I make cheesecake all the time— as well as many other desserts."

"I hear a whole lot of talking and not enough walking, Go. Get. It."

She playfully marched into the kitchen and retrieved the cheesecake from the fridge, after cutting a nice sized slice she served it up on a plate as he began examining it "August don't be extra now,"

He finally had taken a bite and soon finished it all in a matter of seconds, "It was aight."

"Would you like another piece?"

"Yes," he answered quickly while shoving the plate into her face

"I'll just bring the whole thing over, how about that?"

She soon joined him at the table again as they both shared the cheesecake together, "Thank you Lauri."

"You're more than welcome, there's more to come trust me." she said with a wink

"Actually there's been something weighing really heavy on my mind, and I honestly don't know and probably won't ever know when the right time would be..."

Laurielle's palms began sweating, "The right time for what?"

"I've been doing my own thing for some time now, and I didn't think that I'd meet someone as understanding, and genuine as you— I'd be lying if I said I didn't have strong feelings for you Lauri, and I want to give you that clarity you asked for a while ago,"

"I want to be with you, more than just a friend... you can be all of those things in one but the main thing in general is to be mine, my everything, my equal, ."

She remained stunned by his request, was that him asking her to legitimately be in a relationship?

Unable to give him an answer with words, she instinctively leaned over as their lips met in the middle, everything around them had gone silent as he inclined further deepening the kiss, her eyes sleepily closed as her soul slipped away onto a cloud of dreams,

A sensual rainbow had been created, their intimacy left them levitating— for a long time they never broke free while luring one another back and forth.

"What's it gonna be Lauri?" he whispered against her lips as the oxygen in her throat became caught making it harder to breathe "Will you be with me?"

"August..."