snowflakes drift down to earth, falling apart little by little.

"Su-uinyeo-nim."

The last person you expected to see when you responded to the curt knocking at your door stands before you now, draped in finery and gold. You can only stare blankly for a moment as the queen smiles, then makes to step past you into the clinic without another word.

"Jungjeon-mama." You bow as she walks past, settling herself on the wooden chair reserved for patients. "If you had summoned me, I would have gladly come to you. You would not have to come all this way." And leave me with no time to steel myself.

"Oh, it's no bother. Walking improves my health. Besides, here is only a short distance from jeonha's chambers."

You swallow her implications, still unable to read a thing from her calm, composed expression. "...Of course." You force your legs to move again, urging yourself to sit across from the regal woman. Right now, you must cast aside yourself and focus on being a doctor, a healer first. No matter what. "How may I help you, jungjeon-mama?"

The queen sniffs, bundling her layers of clothes together. "It has been a few months since the wedding now. Obviously, jeonha and I have been seeing each other regularly, as much as his schedule allows. Yet," she pauses, silk dragging against silk as she moves her hand over her stomach, "I am still not with child."

Oh.

"I-I see." You bury your hands into your chima sleeves, hoping the fabric can hide the trembling.

Jungjeon-mama leans forward, her shapely eyes never straying from yours. "I hope you can help me with this, su-uinyeo-nim. After all, you know it is of absolute importance that I give birth to an heir. And I know you have expertise with such things."

"Yes... Yes, of course. An heir would unite the country further." You fight the urge to stand up and find something to occupy your fingers as they twitch against your elbows. "Have you been feeling ill at all in the past weeks?" You ask, feeling a bit sick yourself right now as your stomach churns.

She shakes her head. "I've been in fine health. Otherwise, I would have come to you earlier, no?"

It's true. You've not seen her since your last check-up, a week after the wedding. You'd liked it that way.

"Of course. Then... have you been sleeping at a decent hour? Have you been eating your meals?" When she gives two definitive, succinct nods, you continue, "When did you last have proof of your cycle?"

"It started this morning. Late, so I had hoped it would not come at all." She frowns, and that look catches you by surprise. It might be the first sign of vulnerability you've ever seen on her. Her eyebrows pull inwards, her lips pressed thin. She seems truly disappointed, an expression that pulls at your empathy even though you are so keenly aware that she is the last person you should be friendly with. It's dangerous for you to get so involved, and yet.

The look shifts into thoughtfulness soon enough. "I've noticed that jeonha has been tired recently," she says. "Could that affect things?"

Right.

You'd confirmed his fatigue for yourself in the few brief times you've seen him since that November night you threw him out of your chambers. While all those exchanges were in the company of many others, you only needed a single glance to know that he was exhausted beneath his facade of strength. As you delivered reports of ongoing health issues within the palace dwellers, you could see how he moved slower, how his reactions to new information were almost sluggish when compared to his usual spirit.

You wish you could help him.

Now you can only help his wife.

"Lack of sleep, stress, and fatigue can certainly be factors," you say.

The queen raises her hand to her face, feigning modesty but keeping her fingers just low enough to reveal her smirk. "Hmm. I suppose I'll just have to help him relax then."

You swallow, your throat suddenly parched. "Anyway... A-All I can recommend is that you place fruits, flowers, and jewels in your room before going to bed at night. If you dream of these things, it may be a good omen of impending pregnancy."

"Alright. It's an easy enough task for my serving ladies to arrange."

Getting to your feet, you reach for your cabinet full of dried ingredients. "You can also try to drink tea made from these herbs." You turn your back to the queen so your hands are free to hesitate as much as they want, as you gather and weigh out a few portions.

Truthfully, you don't want to give them to her at all, to help more than you already are but—teas like these are often spoken of among women. If you didn't offer them to her at all, she'd likely consider it strange.

"Here you are, jungjeon-mama. There is enough for a week, if you take it every other day." You hand her the tiny parcel with both hands.

The queen accepts it smoothly. "Perfect," she says, as some part of you finds relief.

If she had known the truth of your relationship with Yoongi... She wouldn't have taken the herbs. You would fully expect her to be suspicious of whether you slipped something poisonous into the mix. Perhaps you are safe. Or perhaps, the worrisome part of you thinks, she has already decided privately to accept, but not consume anything you could give. Politics like this make your head spin.

"I shall take my leave now." She gets up from the seat, smiling as she hovers a few inches above you. "I appreciate your advice, su-uinyeo-nim. Let us hope for success."

How the hell can you reply to that? Torn between keeping up appearances and the sharp, acute pain her words bring to your heart. You end up saying nothing at all.

At the door, she turns for one last glance at you. "Oh, and allow me to thank you on jeonha's behalf for working so hard for our soldiers. I hear the rash symptoms have greatly improved. You've done so much."

Hiding your face with a bow, you pray your voice won't break as you murmur, "...Anything for our people."