We're standing in front of a small cabin, trees crowding its edges and vines running over the front deck railings. It's perfect. Absolutely perfect. But, for some reason, I just can't find it in me to be excited about this moment. This is what I've been planning for weeks. Seth's special birthday getaway. And yet, it doesn't feel quite as spectacular as I'd first envisioned.

I'm typically more creative than this. My younger self would have planned a getaway in a luxurious treehouse—they really exist. I found one during my research and they're amazing—or, a road trip to a legit cave hotel. From the website, I guess it's somewhat of a climb to get to, but once you reach the cave, it's like a real-life Flintstone home. It's jam-packed with food supplies and entertainment. You literally wouldn't have to leave at all. It's just a bummer that it'd take us nine hours to drive to.

So, deciding that simple was best—especially considering the possibility that Seth wouldn't even enjoy our time together anyway—I settled for a simple cabin just three hours from home. It's quaint and cozy.

Stepping inside, I immediately take note of the rustic decor. Small, breezy curtains dangle from the windows in a mix of blues and yellows; an overstuffed couch sits at an angle in front of a toasty fire, blankets draped over the back; and a wood table fills a room that was practically built just for its size. The place is perfect and even though I'm not in the mood, I can't help but feel a trickle of anticipation seep into my chest.

The cabin is small with just one bedroom and a loft overlooking the entire layout of the home. The only rooms that are separated from the open-floor concept are the kitchen and dining room, which sit on the other side of the wall from the fireplace.

Slinging my bag off my arm, I drop it next to the entrance, anxious to tour the small home before I unpack. The kitchen is stocked with every pot, pan, and utensil we could possibly need; cupboards in the living room are filled with quilts and board games; and music is tickling the air with its faint, welcoming melodies. They definitely had this place ready for our arrival—though, the burning fire is a bit much considering the heat outside.

I hear Seth call me from another room and I quickly exit from where I've been snooping around in the bedroom and make my way through the kitchen. He's peering out of the swinging screen door that leads to the backyard and when he hears me approach he turns with a smile on his face. It's the first smile I've seen since we left home. After our heated conversation earlier, we'd barely even glanced at each other. I get the sense that Seth is either ticked off, or he's biting his tongue in fear of saying the wrong thing and setting me off again.

"Did you know about that?" he asks, pointing to something off to the left.

I sidle up beside him so I can peer outside, and I can feel a warm smile touching my lips when I glimpse the hot tub.

"Yep," I say. "That's why I picked this cabin. Getting a cabin that doesn't have a hot tub is just stupid."

He nods, clearly appreciative of my choice.

Without another word, we both scamper back to our room where we hurry to unload our bags. We work in silence, side-by-side, until I spot my swimming suit squished in the corner of my suitcase. I pull it out slowly, dangling the stringy material in front of Seth.

"Wanna try out the hot tub?" I tempt, an evil smile on my face.

I've decided at this very moment that I'm done being angry—at least for this weekend anyway. I want to make the most of our time together. Maybe we can even get some things figured out. I chose this cabin for two main reasons: no internet, and no TV. If we wanted to prevent ourselves from going mad with boredom, we'd have to do it together.

I got the idea from Jackson—the hot farmer—because I noticed just how simple his living situation was. He didn't need all the luxury to be happy. He was content with his cows, horses, pigs, chickens, and his little modest home. That's all he needed. So, my experiment this weekend is to see if Seth and I can find happiness with just each other. So, I can't start this getaway off in a bad mood. If I want any chance of making this work, I have to stay positive.

I can actually feel the heat in my blood cool just a little bit. My veins are no longer raging rivers of lava. I sigh, glad to be over my earlier bout of jealous fury, and scurry to the bathroom where I quickly change into my swimwear. I didn't even wait for Seth to answer my question, too excited to get dressed to even wait for his response.

With my swimsuit in place, I wrap a towel around my body and exit the bathroom. I freeze in my pursuits when I notice that Seth is nowhere in sight. Slightly disheartened, I pad my way through the small cottage, eyes sweeping over every nook and cranny, but not spying him.

I frown to myself, curious as to his whereabouts, but the moment I step through the back door, all doubt evaporates. There he is, soaking in the bubbling heated water, his eyes closed as he leans his head back against the edge. He looks so at peace. I almost hate to disturb him, but, then again, I don't really care.

I make sure to create a bit more noise than necessary when letting the screen door swing shut, and I watch as Seth's eyes flicker open as he sits up straight. A smile paints a stunning picture across his face when he spots me coming closer. Dropping my towel on a nearby lawn chair, I gingerly step up to the large tub and slide myself in. His eyes don't waver even long enough to blink.

"Oh, wow," I groan, allowing the searing heat to melt my bones. "This is awful."

"Yeah." He chuckles. "A bit too hot to be enjoyable, but I'm too lazy to move."

"Same," I agree, sinking a bit deeper and letting my eyes droop shut. "Actually," I start to say, "the unbearableness of the water is almost nice."

"You think?" I hear Seth ask, clearly not in agreement with me.

I smile, feeling myself grow weary. I guess that's what heat does, right? Sucks the energy from your muscles and leaves you a pile of blubbery, weak goo. At least, that's what I feel like now. I feel like the water is actually melting my flesh, but I just can't move. I have no desire to escape this torture right now. With Seth sitting beside me, I wouldn't vacate the tub even if I could.

"So," Seth begins to say. "What have you got planned for this weekend?"

I open my eyes, glancing at him before letting my gaze skim over the trees shielding us from any curious eyes.

"This is it," I tell him. "I figured that after working ourselves crazy, we deserved to do nothing. Plus," I say, knowing that what I'm about to say could alter the entire mood of our conversation, "I figured we needed some time to figure us out away from others."

"Hmm."

Seth's response is neither a rejection of my suggestion nor an agreement. I glance at him to find his eyes closed again, his entire body—from his lips down—submerged in the steamy water. I smile at the sight.

So far, this little vacation seems to be going quite well. We haven't argued or bickered. We haven't ignored each other. We haven't created tension. It's almost as if the moment we stepped out of his truck, our discussion from earlier was forgotten. We're now just two people spending quality time together.

"Can I ask you something?"

Seth's voice startles me from my own thoughts and I quickly glance at him. He doesn't wait for me to respond as he proceeds to ask his question without my consent.

"Why do you keep avoiding conversation?"

Okay, well things just got deep really fast. I was not expecting this sudden shift. I'm hoping that this doesn't mean things are going to grow tense between us. Anytime we talk about our relationship, things change and we become stiff. I'm praying that whatever Seth wants to talk about right now doesn't end up as messy as our chat earlier today.

"Because," I start to tell him, a hint of insecurity tainting my words. I don't want to tell him. I don't want to reveal my ugly inner thoughts. They could ruin everything. And yet, he asked. I assume that means he's ready for whatever answer I give. "I'm scared."

My response is honest. It's moments like these when I despise honesty because these are the times when I'm forced to be vulnerable, and I hate being vulnerable. I hate opening myself up because then I'm forced to reveal my weaknesses. It's like painting a target on my Achilles heel, and I'm not ready for him to take aim just yet. I'm tired of feeling wounded and I fear that one of these times he won't miss the mark, and I don't want to know what will happen to me when that day comes.

When Seth doesn't respond to my comment, I tilt my head up slightly, peering at him beneath scrunched brows. Why isn't he reacting? I figured he'd show some kind of emotion, but there's nothing. His face is more or less vacant. He's not even looking at me. Instead, I watch as he takes in his surroundings, his eyes pinned on something in the distance. The only sign that he's got something on his mind is the slight tick of his jaw.

"We need to talk," he finally mutters, causing my chest to clamp down when my heart tries to jump out of it. "We've got issues that we need to talk about."

"What?" I don't deny this to be true, but I can't help the question from passing through my lips. I'm curious, mostly. I want to know what kind of issues he sees between us. I want to know if they match the problems I've discovered.

"I know you think so too," he says, turning his head in my direction and piercing my eyes with his own. There's something heavy in his gaze and I'm not sure I know how to interpret it.

"Can we just try to be happy this weekend?" I ask, hopeful.

He continues to watch me, his eyes squinting slightly at my request. I wait, my nerves bouncing impatiently as I wait for his answer. He seems to be trying to read me. I'm not sure what he sees when he looks at me, but eventually, he nods once, his mouth tilting upwards.

"I'd like that."

I guess he's letting me off the hook for now, but I know eventually he's going to nail me to a dining room chair and demand that I listen to him. But, until that day comes, I plan to take advantage of the saying 'ignorance is bliss.' I'm going to fully enjoy our time together without the ugly possibilities of what he wants to tell me jabbing at my conscience.

Running a hand through my hair, I turn curious eyes towards Seth.

"There is something I've been wanting to know," I suddenly say, a grin lighting up my face.

Seth turns towards me, and when he sees my playful expression his face softens into one of curiosity.

"What's that?"

I push myself from my seat, gliding peacefully through the water until I'm directly in front of him. He seems slightly startled by my bold movements, and can only stare at me in surprise. I lift a finger, trailing it over his bicep where he has his arm lazily draped over the side of the tub. His skin is warm, but the moment my skin makes contact with his, small chills begin to rise up along his flesh. His eyes reluctantly leave mine and sweep downward to follow my movements.

"Why'd you get this tattoo?"

It's not easy to detect which parts of the tattoo belong together since there are several tattoos interlaced with the one that I'm most curious about. From what I can tell, it's a whale swimming through a bed of honeysuckles, but hidden slightly in the background is a heart—a legit heart—and the arteries seem to be blending into the stems of the flowers and wrapping the whale inside of a rather artistically woven web. As odd as it looks, I can't help but marvel at its complexity as I strain to decipher its code.

I hate to admit it, but until this very moment, I'd never noticed this tattoo before in my life. The fact that it's brighter than the rest makes me wonder just how fresh it is. It couldn't be more than a couple of years old, right? How had I never noticed that he got a new tattoo? All his other tattoos are from many years ago—before we ever met. What tempted him into adding more doodles to his skin? And why didn't I know about it?

I blame it on the fact that it's not all that large. Considering that he wears long sleeves most of the time, it would be easy for him to cover it up. But, what has me slightly concerned is the fact that he had to cover it up at all? Why would he keep this from me?

"It, uh—" He drops his arm into the water, rubbing his opposite hand over the mysterious tattoo. "It represents us," he says rather weakly, as if he's unsure how I'll react to such news. "It's my promise to stay bound to you."

"How so?" I can't help but inquire, slightly unsure about what Seth had in mind when he got this done.

"Well," he begins, "don't take this the wrong way, but the whale sort of symbolizes you," He chuckles softly when he sees me pucker my lips in playful displeasure, but he continues on, "and I'm the heart that has entangled myself around you."

Uh, okay?

While the sentiment might be sweet, I've got warning bells clanging around in my skull. Clearly, he didn't heed his own promise then. If he's off galavanting with other women and ignoring me almost every minute of the day, then clearly he's failed. Why bother tattooing a promise on your body if you can't keep it?

"How have I never noticed it before?" I question, keeping my inner doubt tightly locked behind my lips.

"I guess because it's fairly new," he tells me with a shrug, glancing back down at the topic of conversation printed on his inner bicep.

"When'd you get it?"

His eyes flicker away from his arm and he peers up at me, a look of uncertainty lingering in the lines of his face. Then he just shrugs again and says, "about four months ago."

Four months ago?

Just after our marriage started swirling down the toilet of doom.