17 weeks

There are a few things that you've learned about Matthew Tkachuk since spending so much time with him.

He's a terrible cook except when it comes to breakfast and he makes the best scrambled eggs you have ever eaten. He's an early riser because there's always a good morning text when you wake up and you try to play it off but it really does make you happy to wake up to them. It takes him at least half an hour to choose a movie so ninety percent of the time the two of you watch something, you end up picking it. He always eats all the popcorn without realizing and then apologizes and makes more for you, but he eats all that too.

He's also a worrywart because whenever he's on the road, he texts you multiple times a day to check in on you. His mom told you that he often messages her and asks how you are because you refuse to tell him the details about your morning dates with the toilet no matter how many times he asks (though they are not as often these days).

You've also learned that his ideas for a name are light years away from yours.

"Joey?"

You scrunch up your face at Matt's suggestion and shake your head.

"Makes me think of this kid I knew when I was young. He was a dickhead." You say. "What about Grayson?"

Matt shakes his head. "No. What about Cooper?"

"Like Bradley Cooper?" I ask dryly and he frowns.

"Well I didn't think of that until now." He says and then his eyes drop to your stomach which has become more noticeable, forcing you to start telling people. The two of you wanted to keep it as quiet as possible for as long as you could because you weren't sure who could trust not to tell. But the two of you mutually agreed to tell family and friends when you were 15 weeks.

Matt is wanting to announce to fans now but you're nervous about it, terrified of how some might react. It's possible you can tell people the two of you had been quietly dating instead of telling them that the two of you drunkenly hooked up and you got knocked up. If they find out the truth however, you could face a lot of backlash.

So you're terrified as fuck.

"Can I?" Matt asks, bringing you back to reality. You look at him and he gesturing to your bump. He never touches you without asking first and you're grateful for it but there's that small part in the back of your mind that wishes this was real, and the two were a couple who planned the pregnancy and he would touch your bump whenever he wanted to without fear of you reacting badly.

"Yeah, of course." You say quietly, watching as he lays a hand on your stomach and his reaction is always the same - he looks at it in awe (you never notice when he looks at you like that much to his disappointment).

"How're you feeling?" He asks for the fifth time since he came to your apartment. It makes you roll your eyes and laugh.

"I feel the exact same as when you asked me an hour ago." You tell him, still watching as he rubs his thumb in small circles on your stomach. It tickles a little but you don't want to tell him to stop. Besides, it's unfairly cute when he starts whispering things to the baby.

When he read that at week 17, the baby can start to hear things, he wouldn't shut up. You swore that he spoke to your stomach more than he did to you but you were oddly okay with it because you're still getting used to seeing this side of Matthew.

The gentle, caring part that must have been buried down deep. So you're enjoying every minute of it.

You still like getting under his skin sometimes so a thought pops in to your head and it makes you smirk.

"Hey, what do you think about the name Zack?" You tease and the look Matt gives you could kill.

Needless to say, he didn't speak to you for the rest of the night.

. . .

19 weeks

He promised he would be here.

He

You stare at the front doors of the clinic and every minute that passes makes you want to throw up and it has absolutely nothing to do with morning sickness. You want to throw up because Matthew isn't here and it's your second ultrasound and he promised that although he went out drinking last night with some friends, he would show up to your ultrasound at 8 o'clock in the morning.

You also feel sick thinking about the picture you saw of Matt last night with some girl all over him.

Anger was the first thing you felt when you saw the picture. You were absolutely furious. But that's when confusion set in because you didn't understand why you were so mad. It's not like you and Matt are dating so you couldn't understand your reaction to seeing him with another girl. You suppose it's because you're so used to being one of the only things that are important in his life right now that it hurt seeing him with a random girl from the bar.

So you did your best to put that in the back of your mind and focus on this ultrasound but when he didn't pick you up at your apartment when he said he would, you drove yourself because you would be late if you were to wait any longer.

You thought maybe he was hungover and running late, or maybe he forgot that he was supposed to pick you up so you expected him to be waiting at the clinic.

But he isn't. And he fucking promised you that he would be here.

The door opens and your heart leaps but it's not Matt, it's a couple who look happy and it breaks your heart wondering if that's how you and Matt looked when you came in for your first ultrasound.

"Y/N?" The receptionist calls and you can see the pity in her eyes and you hate it but she probably sees this all the time so you try not to take it personally.

"The doctor is ready for you, hun."

You look at the doors one last time before you force a smile and follow her in to the exam room.

. . .

Matt rushes into the clinic, ignoring the strange looks he's getting and runs straight towards the front desk. The receptionist gives him a flat glare that's definitely unprofessional but he knows he deserves it.

"I slept in."

"Clearly." She says dryly and he has to force himself to stay calm because he knows causing a scene would do more harm than good.

"Can I go in?"

She purses her lips like she's considering it but shakes her head. "I can't. It's against regulation."

"Regulation?" Matt exclaims, "Are you joking? She's expecting me to be in there! I promised her!"

"I understand that but I can't break the rules because you slept in. I'm going to have to ask you to sit down or step outside." She says firmly.

Matt scrubs his hands over his face and takes a deep breath before storming out the doors. His eyes scan the parking lot until he finds Y/N's car and walks there to wait for her. He's dreading seeing the disappointment in her eyes, knowing it will make him feel like shit.

It's only five minutes before Y/N walks out of the clinic and she looks happy but when she sees him, her expression goes stone cold. He can see her jaw clench and she walks slowly towards him.

"Move." She says lowly and Matt realizes that he's leaning against the drivers door of her car. He should listen and move, but he needs to find a way to explain why he wasn't there even though he knows that no explanation will be enough.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N. I-"

"I don't want your shitty excuses Matthew." She snaps. "Get out of my way."

"Listen-"

"I said, move!" She shouts, gaining the attention of some pedestrians nearby. They look a little concerned and he tries to give them a somewhat reassuring smile but he knows that if Y/N doesn't calm down, there will be trouble.

"Please just hear me out." He begs and she laughs dryly.

"Let me guess... you slept in?"

"I-"

"Did that hot blonde keep you up all night?" She bites out and Matthew's eyes widen. How did she-

"God, I hope our child never googles your name and looks at pictures because he'll see what a lying asshole his father is."

Matt would normally be a little insulted by her words but he feels like he's been punched in the stomach when he hears the word he.

"It's a boy?"

"Yeah," Y/N snaps, shoving something in his hands. "Surprise! You'd know if you didn't miss the appointment because you went out and got wasted and took some girl home."

He's in enough shock from the news that Y/N is able to push him out of the way.

"Go home and don't even think about showing up at my apartment." She says, opening the door of her car and giving him one last glare. "And cover up that hickey, you're not a fucking teenager."

Matt is still standing in the same spot, staring at the sonogram Y/N threw at him when she drives away.

. . .

"I can punch him?" Johnny offers. "I still haven't gotten the chance."

You sniffle and shake your head, accepting the warm cup of hot chocolate Becca hands you. She sits on the couch beside you and rubs your back gently. It's nice, but it just reminds you of Matt.

You miss the look that Becca gives Johnny but notice when he quietly leaves the room.

"Can I ask you something?" She questions softly.

You shrug, feeling too tired and numb to give a verbal answer.

"I understand why you're angry that he didn't show up to the ultrasound, and you have every right to." She hesitates but continues when you look at her. "But you're upset about that girl. Why?"

It's a valid question because you're still trying to figure that out yourself. Why did you get so upset that he slept with that girl? You're not dating but it still felt like he cheated on you and you can't understand why.

So you shrug again and Becca sighs softly.

"I think I know why."

"Why?" You finally mumble.

"You like him." She says and you scoff, laughing dryly.

"Quite the opposite, actually. I hate him."

She shakes her head. "Y/N, I haven't heard you say you hate him in months. You've been talking about how great he actually is."

"Clearly I was wrong." You say, wanting to deny her words that might have truth to them.

Were your feelings for Matt starting to change? You admit that you started to realize that he wasn't as bad as you were making him out to be. Yes, he was an asshole and a pest quite frequently but you also got to see the side of him that you guessed only his family and close friends got to see.

You thought he was going to be someone you could trust and rely on but last night and today proved you wrong.

"I'm tired, Becca." You say, wanting to get out of this conversation. She smiles softy and hugs you before you go to get ready for bed.

Once you're finally in bed, you turn your phone on that you had turned off when you got home.

There's eleven missed calls and a bunch of texts from Matt. You only read the last one.

You stare at the text before turning your phone off again and closing your eyes, trying to forget Matthew Tkachuk even exists.