TOTALLY CLUELESS

♡

how adamant George and Lee are being about this whole situation. Every morning and every bloody night the two will manage to ambush him at some point, and bring up the same topic, the topic that's been brought up so much in the past year that he thinks they talk about it more than their practical jokes. Maybe it comes up naturally in conversation, now that she's back, maybe he's sitting there, not doing his Potions homework, and Lee suddenly brings it up. Either way, they keep on talking about it, like if they mention it enough times, they'll will it into the universe. It's annoying as fuck.

And that topic, ladies and gentlemen, is this: Briar fucking Crouch.

You know what? He isn't going to go into the actual details. It doesn't matter, does it, all that's important is that he knows for a fact that he's in love with her, but George and Lee only think he fancies her. Which is a good thing, he thinks. They'd take the piss out of him even more if they knew that. And they already take the piss every opportunity they've given, what would they do if they knew how it was even worse?

They used to talk about her because she wasn't around, because they all missed her and they saw her dad most days so the whole thing felt weird. They used to mention her, because they'd walk into the common room before breakfast and expect a pretty blonde girl to appear as well, a small smile across her face, and then she wouldn't be there. They used to mention her, when they got her letters, complaining about Beauxbatons... But now, it's a lot less we all miss our friend Briar, and instead, it's Fred fancies Briar and it's about time.

He knows he fancied her before that, but he doesn't need to tell George and Lee that. All they know is that it started in the summer... He can admit it got worse in the summer, but that's because he hadn't seen her in a year, he sort of forgot... OK, well, he forgot how fucking fit she is and quickly he realised how he didn't just fancy her.

Anyway.

He's only thinking about all of this now, because George mentioned it when they were brushing their teeth. His twin had nudged him and gone, "I bet she'd say yes, if you asked her to Hogsmeade, or something."

Fred shook his head. "Maybe, George, I want to wait for the right moment."

"Well hurry up, Romeo," says Lee, walking out of a cubicle. He shrugs. "I'm not being funny, but sooner or later someone else that fancies her's gonna ask her out. And then you'll've missed your chance."

"Who else fancies­—?"

Lee shrugs. "Dunno," he says. "Maybe Diggory still likes her... All I'm saying is you're not the only person that's looked at Briar and thought, oh she's fit."

George nods. "I mean, when me and Lee thought that, we also thought, nah, she's like a sister, she's pretty but I don't like her like that. You just had to go the full bloody mile."

"All right, well, I'm not gonna rush anything, and it doesn't feel like the right time yet," says Fred.

Lee coughs. "Wimp."

Fred tries to brush that off, and he shrugs his shoulders. "You know what? It'll be worth it when the time's right and I ask her out and because it's the right time, she says yes."

Shortly after that they started to walk to the hall for breakfast. They go back to talking about Wheezes, and it's fine again. It's still on his mind, sure, but the other two aren't talking about it at all.

They sit down at the Gryffindor table. He starts to talk about the prototypes for a new product. A few minutes pass, and George looks across at Fred, having spotted something, and he winks.

"Morning, boys," says Briar, and she sits down next to Fred. Lee and George have been doing this on purpose, sitting on one side so Fred and Briar have to sit together. She takes one of the slices of toast. "Fleur's sitting with Cedric and Viktor—"

"Viktor?" says Lee, raising his eyebrows.

"Blimey, Briar, you leave for a year and you're on first name basis with Krum?" says George, looking impressed.

Briar rolls her eyes. "It's not like that," she says. Thank God, Fred thinks.

She gets another slice of toast. "But anyway — they're all friends because they're the champions. Harry's not included, but, uh... I don't know. Have you guys seen him around, recently?"

"I think he's trying to avoid... everyone," says Fred.

She nods. "Fair enough," she says. "But anyway, how are you guys?"

"Never better," says Lee with a grin, toast crumbs sticking to his mouth.

Briar smiles.

"We have Potions later, though," says George.

Fred nods. "And none of us have done the homework."

"We think if it's all three of us, it'll be less painful," says Lee.

"Oh, definitely," says Briar.

A while passes and they suppose they're as late as they can be to their first lesson. George pushes Fred towards Briar, when they get out of the hall, and says that he'll walk her back to the carriage. Fred's about to protest, but Lee quickly adds, "Yeah, you go and be a gentleman, Fred, you need the practice anyway..." And Briar laughs, and Fred tries not to think, fuck, she's pretty.

George and Lee leave. Fred turns to Briar, as they walk down the corridor.

"You know—"

Briar stops walking, her fingers on her temples. "Oh, not again," says Briar. Her brows furrow, as she begins to sway a little, and already Fred remembers the signs of Briar having a vision.

"Right, c'mon," he says, putting an arm around her to guide her down the step into the courtyard, so at least she can sit down. He knows that she used to mumble nonsense whenever she'd have a vision. They used to joke, it was only worrying when she spoke directly to you, because that meant, in her mind, she was looking at their future selves. But she's only looking at the ground... Not looking at him, or anything, which is a good thing. He doesn't need her laughing like he's just asked her out.

He has to sit her down, pretty much, since her eyes have already glossed over, she's already having the vision. She holds onto his hand.

And then the weirdest thing happens.

She mumbles: "Thanks, baby..."

Fred's jaw drops.

Baby. Baby? She's calling him baby? In the future...? Does that mean—?

Briar blinks a couple of times, and she frowns, snapping out of it. Fred stares at her in shock. Briar looks even more confused.

"Don't tell me what I said," she says.

He's still in shock.

Baby?

Briar frowns still. She puts a hand on his arm. "You know, Freddie, you're starting to worry me a little..."

He stands up, a massive smile appearing across his face. If she's calling him baby, then that must mean in the future they get together! This is fucking fantastic—

"Briar!" says Fleur, appearing out of nowhere.

Briar looks up at Fleur, and she smiles softly. She knows that Fleur's going to ask if she's okay, especially since the full moon's at the end of the week. And Briar knows that she's been struggling a little today... Earlier she had a vision when she was brushing her teeth, and almost blacked out and cracked her skull in their bathroom. She didn't remember the vision, though, so Briar's guessing that these new visions are a result of the looming full moon in five days, because that's what happens when she has visions on the full moon. It's annoying, but at least she doesn't have to try and forget all these snippets of the future... She does, however, have to try and ignore how shocked Fred looked a minute ago... And how now, he looks as if he's won the fucking tournament.

"I'm fine," she tells Fleur. "Maxime's probably wondering where I am—"

"Shouldn't you go to the hospital wing?" says Fred, looking at her oddly.

"I'll be fine, Freddie," she says. "I'm fine now..."

"I think Seers tend to react to the full moon, sometimes," says Fleur, and she looks at Briar, a little hesitantly, but Briar nods in agreement, and thinks, Fleur you fucking legend! Now she's covered, every full moon from now on when things get weird... Briar loves Fleur, so much. "And since the full moon's coming up, it could be that..."

Briar nods. "Yeah."

"Oh, well, maybe because of your dad, it's more likely that you react to the full moon," says Fred, and suddenly it dawns on Briar how bad she feels, lying to him. She actually wants to cry.

I'm such a shitty friend, she thinks.

♡

FOUR DAYS BEFORE THE FULL MOON, and Briar is struggling a little bit more — she had to leave her lessons with Maxime a couple of times throughout first period, having visions, and after one particularly nasty one, where she vomited and almost fainted, she was taken to the hospital wing up in the castle. Madam Pomfrey looked unsurprised, when Maxime brought her into the hospital wing.

"I thought you'd come here eventually," says Pomfrey, a few hours later. Briar fell asleep, and woke up just as the clock turned to six o'clock. She fixes her ponytail, and tries to remember to write to her dad later on.

Briar shrugs. "Maybe I just love the hospital wing."

"I must say, it's nice to see you again," says Pomfrey.

Briar smiles softly. "Same here."

She's allowed to leave after a while, after Pomfrey decided that Briar's fine, the vision must've made her shattered. Briar remembers how she used to spend a lot of nights in the hospital wing, because Pomfrey would be convinced that Briar still wasn't well enough to sleep in her own dorm room. If anything, Briar was expecting the same to happen there, which felt strange to her — it's as if she jumped back in times by two years.

Merlin. That's so strange, isn't it? Only two years ago, Briar hadn't dealt with any of this. She didn't know her dad, she didn't have the scar of a bite mark on her stomach, she didn't have any of her current worries. No the full moon is in four days, no I hope my friends don't notice my behaviour, because the full moon's coming up, not even the more normal things she's worrying about, things about her grandpa and her dad and even Fred. It's mad.

Briar's dreading the full moon, though. She doesn't know why, but this one feels worse than usual. This one leaves a pit in her stomach, a worrying thought by her inner eye... She doesn't know why, or what, but something's making her feel uneasy. Maybe it's because her inner eye's acting up, more than usual, maybe it's because last time, she wasn't around her friends long enough for them to catch on... She doesn't know. All she knows is that she's struggling, a lot.

Since it's dinnertime when Briar left the hospital wing, she walks straight to the hall. She isn't hungry, in fact she feels sick, but she knows it's worse to starve herself. She'll force herself to eat something, so at least she's eaten something, and then she'll go straight to the carriage, to write to her dad, and then she'll go to bed. She normally feels this way closer to the full moon; normally, four days before, it isn't that bad. But today feels like the full moon should be tomorrow, or even tonight. Briar doesn't know why it feels worse. She wants to think it's the dread in her stomach, but she doesn't know. She wishes she did, though.

Briar reaches the corridor close to the Great Hall, and things get worse. Her inner eye starts to whisper things about everyone she lays her eyes on; she hears the test results of a second year that walks past her, flashes of the graded exam paper landing on their desk covering her vision. She sees one of the Patel twins, and then she sees them standing next to Ron at some fancy event. She sees Snape, talking to a student further down the hall, and she sees a dark night, stars in the sky. She sees this one student who she doesn't even know, but within seconds she knows she's going to be attacked by Greyback, just like she was—

There's a rustle in the trees, and a growl afterwards. Briar's stuck, frozen, watching the area the growling came from. She knows it's going to happen, how is she going to change anything? It happens all at once: she's knocked over, the gravel on the road scraping her arms. The beast appears in the darkness, standing next to her, the moonlight above revealing the werewolf above her — but, before she can even scream in fear, she feels teeth cutting straight into her stomach's skin, just as she thinks—

"Briar?" says Fred, frowning at her.

Briar looks up at him. George and Lee are standing next to him, too, all of them looking at her with concern.

She smiles weakly, trying to brush it off. I'm fine, I'm fine. She doesn't want them to think anything otherwise. She feels awful, dumping all of this on Fleur, but she can't tell anyone else. She can't.

"I keep on having these short little visions," says Briar. "I'm fine, don't worry, it's just a little disorientating."

"Well, we're here if you need us," says George, concern still in his voice.

"Are you going to dinner, Bri?" says Lee.

"Uh," says Briar. She thinks it might be easier to grab a napkin and take a sandwich with her. Especially since the more her friends talk to her, the more the voice in her head reminds her, you're a monster, they're looking at you like that because they don't know the truth... They wouldn't look at her like this if they knew. They just wouldn't. "I think I might just take something back to the carriage. I think the visions are worse when I'm around loads of people, so..."

George nods. "Fair enough."

She checks for Fleur, to let her know, but she's nowhere to be found. She's probably already back at the carriage. Most people have eaten by now. The people left seem to be the ones that are trying to eat quickly to finish off homework. Briar walks with her old friends to the Gryffindor table, and she makes a little sandwich for herself, using the salad bowl the boys have already moved to the side, uninterested.

She ends up sitting with them, her visions dying down enough that she stops feeling sick, so she eats with them. She still feels uncomfortable, she still feels wrong, sitting with them and knowing that their concern wouldn't be there if they knew the truth. She barely speaks whilst they sit together, and she knows they don't mind — but the reason they understand isn't the real reason, is it? They know she's having visions, they know she's struggling, they know she'll come around eventually and talk to them about. But they don't know the most important part, the part that's been dangling over her head for the last year, the part that makes her feel wrong whenever they hug her, whenever they show any affection towards her...

Quickly after finishing her dinner, she tells them that she's going to walk back to the carriage, emphasising how she still doesn't feel great. They nod and they say they hope she feels better, and internally she laughs, because that won't happen, will it? She's never going to feel better. She's never going to get rid of this. They call it a curse for a reason.

She's walking down the corridor that leads out into the grounds, where the carriage is, when she hears a voice behind her.

"Briar," says Fred. "Are you sure you're OK—?"

She nods, smiling weakly. "Fine, Freddie."

He looks unconvinced. "You know you can talk to me, right—"

She nods again, crossing her arms. She doesn't know why, but she can feel tears filling her eyes. He'd hate you if he knew the truth.

"I know, Freddie—"

It's at this moment when her voice cracks, and tears start falling down her face. Fred moves forwards towards her, wanting and planning to hug her, but she keeps her arms crossed, shaking her head.

"Is there something else going on?" says Fred.

You wouldn't be so concerned if you knew.

"Briar, you can tell me," he says.

I can't tell you. I can't tell anyone—

"I just want to know you're OK, Bri—"

"I can't tell you," says Briar suddenly. She struggles to look up at him for a minute, but she does when she pauses. He looks confused, but also upset, but also worried. She looks away quickly afterwards, even more uncomfortable looking him dead in the eye. "You won't—You won't look at me in the same way, you'll hate me—"

"You know what, Briar?" says Fred. He raises his voice slightly. "Nothing you tell me will change how I look at you!"

"But it will!" she snaps.

Fred just stares at her. She doesn't know what to do. She doesn't know if she's meant to walk away, if she's meant to say something else. She doesn't fucking know what to do, because she never fucking does. She doesn't know how to deal with full moons, she doesn't know why this full moon is worse than usual, nothing makes fucking sense to her anymore. Especially when it comes to Fred fucking Weasley.

She moves to walk away. Fred already starts after her, his hand reaching for hers to make her stop walking. Briar snatches her hand away from his.

"You don't understand," she tells him, her voice shaking. "And you never will."

"But why?" he says. "I don't get it, what makes you think—?"

"Can you just leave me alone?" she says.

She doesn't know his reaction, because the second she says it, she walks away, out into the grounds to the carriage. It's dark so she has time to wipe the tears off of her face, to look presentable when she walks through the carriage to her dorm room. But she knows — she knows — that the second her dorm room door closes, she'll burst into tears again. She just needs to stop, to pretend it's fine, for the couple of minutes it takes to walk to her room.