I've been around the human for some time now, but I was still feeling different. Something about him was contrasting to Jonathan, and whatever it was, it made it more difficult for me to get closer to him. But it wasn't a big deal. I learnt that I treated him more like a friend, rather than my Jonathan. Just because he looked exactly like my Warrior, doesn't mean that I will worship him, too.

I was waiting for him in his apartment, sitting on the couch and doing absolutely nothing. He had a class right now, but he'll be here soon. Apparently, he gets his results for a previous test today, therefore I bought some drinks so we could celebrate his failure or success. Whichever was fine. But I will try and not get too drunk. Nothing ever good happens when I'm drunk and now that Sebby isn't around me, there won't be anyone keeping an eye on me.

I can't guarantee the human won't try and do anything. He'd probably throw me somewhere to get rid of me.

I grinned when I heard the sound of keys, then the door was opening. I spun around quickly, and I heard a startled curse.

"Jesus, don't scare me like that!" he snapped, a hand stretched out to his chest, as though to calm his heart.

I frowned, and tilted my head in confusion. "My name isn't Jesus."

He rolled his eyes, then he closed the door and walked to his room lazily. I followed behind him, a skip to my steps as I somehow felt cheerful. It was his heartbeat, it made me jumpy.

"What are you doing here, again?" he groaned as he dumped his bag on the bed. I skipped on my toes, grinning slyly.

"I came to celebrate with you your test results!"

"I failed." he snapped, his eyes raging. He told me before that he wasn't good at history. It just made him so bored that he could never focus or get a good mark. I know that feeling so well.

"So?" I shrugged. "Just because you failed, doesn't mean you shouldn't celebrate. Come on, I bought beer and all that jazz!"

He sighed, but he still nodded his head and walked to the kitchen. I skipped after him, then I went to lay the drinks out on the floor. It'd be better if we just sit on the floor and chill. That way, if we get too drunk, the falling impact won't be too deadly.

He came back with a huge bowl of chips and chocolate, making my mouth water at the sight. He sat down on the floor with a sigh, then he grabbed a bottle of beer and popped it open. He handed it to me and I took it eagerly. I grabbed a fistful of the goods in the bowl and then gobbled them like they were nothing.

All this time, the human watched me with interest.

"What?" I grumbled, munching on the crunchy food in my mouth. "Can't a girl eat like a pig without being judged?"

He grinned and shook his head, then he took a swig of his beer. At least he grinned and not continued to look so down. He's been more friendly to me after the few days I've spent around him. He's so much fun to be with.

I think it's because he's the first and only normal friend I have.

Not a Pureblood, not a Slade. A human.

"Why do you keep following me?"

I froze at the question, forgetting about the food in my mouth for a moment. Why was he asking such a question? I tried to swallow the food, but it suddenly felt as though I was swallowing a lump of dried rocks.

"You look similar to someone I knew."

"Is that why?" he raised an eyebrow.

I nodded my head, resuming to feed myself. "Pretty much. But do tell me, are you interested in anyone?" I leaned back against the seat of the couch and gulped some of my beer down. I have to remember to not get drunk.

"There is this girl." he stopped there, swallowing a little of his beer. This was going to be a long story, so I must get comfortable, I thought as I grabbed another fistful of the chips and chocolate.

As he spoke of this girl he liked, there was a gleam in his eyes. He looked honest and truthful with every word he said, his intentions towards her seemed innocent and nowhere near harmful. He seemed to be genuinely interested in that girl, whoever she was.

The more he spoke, the more I realised that he was not Jonathan, not the Jonathan I knew, not my Jonathan. He was different, and now I realise what it was.

His nature was not the same as Jonathan's.

Where Jonathan was stubborn and defiant, this human was quiet and still. Where Jonathan was cheeky and a troublemaker, this human was innocent and preferred to stay away from trouble. Where Jonathan was carefree and rebellious, this human was controlled and calm.

The more he spoke about things that interested him, such as staying at home or going out with friends and doing nothing, the more I realised how depressed I suddenly got. I didn't want to stay here anymore, I wanted to leave.

I wanted Sebastian.

I didn't want to stay with this human anymore. I grew tired, bored with him, and I knew I shouldn't keep bothering him with me because he should live a normal human life. I shouldn't take that from him. I shouldn't take what was taken from me, from him.

Putting the beer bottle down on the side, I scooted closer to the human and placed a hand on his cheek, forcing him to look into my eyes. He looked startled for a moment, then he gasped and his eyes were locked on my own without blinking or moving.

I felt my pupils contract. I smiled and locked my eyes with his, getting serious.

I have to do it, I have to let him go. I can't keep doing this. After so many days I spent with him, I don't see myself going anywhere with him.

"I want you to forget about me." I whispered, making sure to not blink. "You will fall asleep because you've drank too much, and when you wake up, you will not remember me. Everything we've done, you will forget, because I was never with you. You don't know me." I paused, taking a deep breath and trying not to close or move my eyes. "I was nothing but a strange nightmare."

His eyes closed slowly, and then he fell limp on the ground. I looked at his sleeping figure, smiling softly when I saw how innocent and fragile he looked.

That's right, he and I are extremely different in many ways.

I sighed and cleaned some of the mess up before I left, feeling a strong tightness in my chest. I walked in the night street aimlessly, feeling depressed for a reason that I knew all too well. I knew why I was feeling something, and it wasn't because of the human. I just hated this ache in my chest. It seemed to be attempting to suffocate me and tighten my throat with each breath I took.

I hate feelings. I hate emotions.

I wanted to be in a certain Pureblood's arms, I wanted to hear a certain heartbeat and to be engulfed by a certain scent. I just hate this intense longing I was feeling. I just hate those feelings I was sensing.

I sighed, and after a few more steps, my nose twitched. My soul's whispers loudened, and I felt myself almost becoming a little happy. I walked faster, following that certain scent until I was finally looking at its owner.

He was leaning against the door of his black Lamborghini, his arms crossed against his chest and his ankle over the other. Except, he looked tired. His heartbeat wasn't as lively, I could smell his fatigue and I knew for a fact that he was not able to get a wink of sleep for the past few days.

I hurriedly walked over to him, but my steps faltered when I saw his eyes. They were a dull and gloomy sienna brown. I frowned and continued walking towards him and when I was in front of him, I pressed myself closer and wrapped my arms around his toned waist.

I felt stronger, content and stupidly at ease.

His heartbeat, it was like a soft melody to my ears. He soon wrapped his arms around me, and he wrapped them tightly, as though he didn't want me to leave him again.

"I'm sorry." I whispered in regret, burying my head in his warm chest. I never knew that regret was an emotion I'd ever feel, but with Sebastian, any emotion— anything— was possible. I felt horrible for making him wait for me here, I felt bad for making him feel tired like this. I felt so many things I didn't want to feel.

"You left me." his voice shook my strong soul, it even made me flinch. I hadn't realised how much I'd hurt him because of my selfishness and carelessness. I never thought Sebastian would ever sound so hurt and broken like this.

I knew what mood this newest eye colour reflected.

"I can't leave you, it's not possible for me." I held him to me tighter, hating the feeling that burned my chest. I didn't think anything would be impossible for me, but I was badly mistaken. "You're the only one who can make me feel emotions. You're the only one I want, Sebby. I can't and I don't want to leave you anymore. I hate the horrible feelings I have when I leave you."

"So you came back to me?" he whispered, and it sounded as though he wanted to reassure himself.

"I'll always come back to you." I blurted quickly, without needing to think back. I pulled back a little and gazed into his now glimmering night-black eyes. There was a smile on his face and, strangely, it made me beam at him.

"I love you, Sebby."

His eyes widened for a brief moment, before they quickly sparkled again, maybe even brighter than before and a smile spread across his face. He looked unbelievably happy, and to know that I made him feel like that brought a strange sensation in my chest.

Was it because I didn't stutter? Or was it because this time I truly meant it and there's no going back from it?

Did I mention his heart skipped a beat? I thought it had stopped.

Whatever made him happy, it made me snake my arms around his neck and bring him down to me slowly. My skin instantly warmed up because of how warm his skin was and the way his gentle, delicious soft lips moved against mine made me insane, if I wasn't already.

I could feel the tingles tickling my skin wherever he touched me, and I liked them. My soul was completely purring inside my chest, being so wild and overjoyed and I knew why she was like that.

It's time that I let Jonathan go. I need to accept the fact that he's gone, he's no longer alive. I need to accept the fact that he will never come back and I need to accept the fact that Sebastian is my everything now. I need to accept the fact that I can't be without Sebastian, that I can never let go of him or give him up to anyone, even if I had to put up a fight.

I will not let him leave me, and if someone tries to so much as think of taking him from me, then I definitely won't just back down without a fight.

It's the fight the makes everything exciting, after all.

✿❀ RZ ❀✿