《Layers Of Suffering (Tokoyami BNHA)》Comment On My Story... (Not A Chapter)
Advertisement
Latest update: 28/9/19
Firstly, I have to apologise for those who are expecting a new chapter to arrive. I hate authors notes, but I feel this is a required step to take to further improve my story.
Since it's the first time I am creating a fanfic, I would like to ask a few questions about my story.
Lately, I've been feeling that I am dragging the story for a bit too long.
I have a few options that states the problem of my work.
1. Too many flashbacks.
2. Doesn't get to the point fast.
3. Confusing, hard to understand.
4. Illogical events, plot holes.
5. Redundant events.
6. Drabby events. Boring or too factual.
7. Lack of humour.
8. Bad English. Sentence structure, Grammer, spelling or incorrect use of vocabulary or words.
9. Storyline isn't impactful, too less emotion or description.
10. Any other criticisms.
Either state the numbers (can be more than one) you agree on, preferably with explanations but totally fine with just numbers.
Of course, if you feel that any of the points stated or other points that you think I did well in my story. Feel free to mention it if you do want to point it out.
Using these criticism, I may either try to improve future chapters or try to rewrite entire chapters if the chapters become too bland to continue. (probably either a separate chapter in the same story or if a chapter is seriously too bad, replace an existing chapter with the edited version.)
I want my readers to be a part of the story, ending it appropriately with lots of emotion and passion.
Seriously, thank you for reading my Fanfic. I hope I have entertained you well with my story and have a great day ahead.
Advertisement
- In Serial121 Chapters
Quantum Worlds (A LitRPG dark fantasy)
Find the missing VIP in an illegal game world. Kill the monsters. Return home for the paycheck. Decorated Marine commander, Damon Williams, never thought his latest mission would take place in a full-immersion world fighting monsters… but when a high-value VIP disappears after being stealthily transported to a banned MMORPG, he's their only hope. Damon must lead a group of rescuers into an unforgiving world infested with terrifying monsters and worse. Pain is real. Death is permanent. He and his crew must adapt quickly, trust each other, and fight to survive. And if all that's not bad enough, they'll also have to race against time to avoid the realm’s disintegration and mutation effects. Quantum Worlds features race and class designations, unique creatures, dungeon crawling, level progression and Easter eggs that reference video games and pop culture. This a dark fantasy, but it also has sprinklings of humor throughout. It is a multi-cast, multi-pov story. In many ways, it is a melding of one of my favorite novels, “The Stand”, with my favourite genre, LitRPG. I don’t espouse to be anywhere near Stephen King, but I would like to think that I have succeeded in many areas here (you’ll be the judge of that). So, this thriller-style story has a lot of build-up and lots of drama. When it hits the 100-page mark, it starts to take off with some intense action and fight scenes (although there are battles long before that). Nothing comes easy for this group of rescuers. And the dangers are very real. This saga is already over 100 chapters with more to come. I hope you enjoy it and look forward to your reviews, comments, and feedback. Thanks. Chapters are uploaded every day at noon ET. Please do not repost this work anywhere without my written permission. Quantum Worlds is a participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge.
8 113 - In Serial7 Chapters
Rift
Jun had his life flipped upside down after an encounter with a Riftwalker. Explore, alongside Jun, the mysteries of the Rift, its inhabitants, and the powers it bestows.
8 165 - In Serial14 Chapters
DeadZone - Synthesis
Katsuo, a young man,raised by his grandma, Nana, in the State of Fuki, is nothing more than a slave. A boy without a future, working day and night, on a junkyard of unimaginable size, a remnant of an endless war. A war that drove both his parents away from him.In the age of 16, he will be given the chance to unlock his Heiki and embark on a journey to acquire the answers he seeks. He will make enemies of the most notorious of villains, but also many close friends, as he discovers that power can be used to reshape this ‘broken world', which is ruled by god-like forces, synthesized by the so called Institutions: The Impars, the Holy Roman Catholic Church of the Great Lord and many more.-Heiki is everything. Heiki is what is responsible for all the interactions around you. It is what empowers humans to make their dreams come true. In this world, nothing may be magical, in the mythological sense of the word, but everything is. All the things that our mind can conceive can, also, come true. This is a reality.
8 352 - In Serial7 Chapters
Make God Bleed!
In the final year after the death of God, where heaven has been destroyed, an occult summons has been sent across the multiverse. And there at the end of all creation, at the precipice of annihilation, Dalita finds herself awakened and subjected to a cruel and unjust game. Now she must learn to survive and grow, and Attain that holy name of Karanduun, so that she can achieve the ultimate goal of the game she was subjected to: to make God bleed. Make God Bleed! is a Fantasy LitRPG set in a game world inspired by Breath of the Wild, Final Fantasy Tactics, and NieR, in a setting inspired by Filipino Myth and Folklore. I hope you like it!
8 100 - In Serial30 Chapters
The Final Cosmos
The bizarre transgressions of a world and it's inhabitants.
8 100 - In Serial9 Chapters
• AQUATIC•
Leaving Forks after the fiasco with Bella the Cullen family head to stay at their cousins, the Denali coven in Alaska. Stumbling upon a secret lake Emmett is drawn in by a singing voice, learning the truth about mermaids. Please note that this is an Emmett/Oc/Rosalie fic. I own nothing but the mermaids and their storyline, everything else belongs to Stephanie Meyers.
8 144

