Do I want it to be?

Yeah, no.

"I-I... I don't–" I got cut off when Vera laughed out loud, bringing tears to her eyes.

"I'm kidding," she said after calming down, noticing my discomfort. "You're really cute, Aiden. Don't worry, this is just a friendly date. You know, us getting to know each other because I really am grateful for what you did last week and sorry for literally running a cart over your foot."

"I know, that's what I told him," I said with wide eyes. "Sorry if I made you uncomfortable this time."

"You didn't. So, want to tell me more about you? Like, actually you," she said with a genuine smile. "After all, this is a friendly date. Friends should get to know each other."

"You want to be friends?"

"Of course, I think you're really sweet and I want to be your friend." Finally feeling at ease, I let myself open up a bit more about me as she did the same.

I learned a lot about her as time passed, she talks a lot. Although I feel more open about making new friends despite the fear of being rejected, I learned that being honest about my situation as soon as possible would make things hurt less. If we're not attached to each other, them leaving me because of my anatomy would not hurt me on a deeper level.

"Before... Before anything else," I started to say. "I want to be honest about something."

Pausing from sipping her drink, Vera gave me her full attention. "Alright."

"I know this may sound weird or–" I was cut off from speaking when Vera held my fidgetting hands.

"Relax," she gave me a comforting smile. "It's okay if you can't say it."

"Uhm, no, I want to," I pushed. Better now than later, right? "As you can see, I'm a female. But I have this situation where instead of a female anatomy, I... I have a di–the male one. I'm not trans though."

"I see," nodding, Vera leaned back. "Intersex, right?" I nodded. "I read about that. Don't worry, Aiden. It doesn't bother me if that's what you're thinking."

My eyes widened. "Really? We can still be friends?"

She laughed. "Of course. Like I said, you're sweet."

I have a new friend? That easy? Wow.

Smiling down to myself, my legs bounced as I sipped my drink.

This is great.

Although we enjoyed our time together alone, Vera told me that I could invite my friends if I want so I did. The three of them arrived a few minutes later, all looking excited, particularly Julius, for the gossip. Pretty sure he's still adamant on thinking that this is a date and Vera has a crush on me or something.

"Soooo," Julius sat down beside eagerly.

Vera chuckled. "Is this the friend?"

"Unfortunately," I nodded, feigning disappointment.

Julius gasped, appalled. "The fuck do you mean unfortunately? What did you say about me?"

"That you like chisme," Vera answered for me, earning a laugh from all of us. "Aiden here is really cute, but I recently got out of a relationship. I honestly just want friendship."

"Okay, cool. Well, I'm Julius." They all introduced themselves to Vera who gladly repeated all what she told me about herself as my friends also talked about themselves.

I sat quietly then, enjoying the way they gossip and just listening as they talked.

Maybe I really am worthy of genuine friendship. Maybe my parents were right, the dean and my new friends, my anatomy really should not matter. I'm me, and my genitals doesn't have anything to do with that.

"I'm a freak, mama," I cried, clutching her shirt.

"What? Of course not, baby. Who told you that?" She caressed my face with soft hands.

"Papa and my classmates at school, even the teachers look at me weird. I don't like it, mama. I want to go back dressing like a boy."

Her eyes turned sad before she hugged me against her chest. "Listen to me, you are not a freak, okay? The people around us are a bunch of close minded people and you shouldn't let their words affect you. They don't know who you are and how kind and loving you are. Their minds are shallow because they can't see how much of a beautiful girl you really are. You can wear whatever clothes you want, baby. Don't let their opinion change that."

I'm not a freak.

"She doesn't have her usual glow, doesn't she?" Julius motioned to Professor Peterson who busied herself with checking our tests. "It's been a week and she's slacking off a bit."

As much as I hate to say it, he's right. Compared to before, Professor Peterson would not only discuss, but she also tries to have an interactive and fun class. She never fails to remind us what to review, read in advanced, and she never, never makes mistakes. After the scenes I've witnessed with her and Sir Tristan, she seemed to be exhausted everyday. She forgets some information in the middle of the discussion, forgets to ask if we understood and if we have further questions or clarifications, she also forgets to let us have our turn on adding our own knowledge or answer.

It pains me to see her like this and I don't even know what to do or if I should even do anything.

"Some students are already complaining you know," Julius added in a whisper.

"I know."

"You have to babysit her son later, right? Maybe you can talk to her or something, tell her about some of the complaints so she's aware," he suggested. Although I don't think it's a good idea to add another stress to her life, I don't think she will appreciate it if I hid this from her, especially since it concerns her teaching.

"I will."

Much like how she's acting here, Professor Peterson also acts very distant at their home. Aaron complained to me that her mom's cooking changed and she doesn't play or talk with him anymore and if she does, she's distracted and seemed to be thinking far ahead. And to what I witnessed, my professor has been drinking a lot of wine lately. The only thing I'm thankful of is that she waits until Aaron's asleep before drinking.

She at least thinks of her son before doing something like that.

With fidgeting hands, I waited for the class to end so I could at least make sure she's okay first before going to her house for babysitting. As soon as the clock hit 5, the dismissal was announced and all students went their way out. Julius gave me a thumbs up before leaving too.

Nervously, I approached Professor Peterson. "Professor," I called gently.

She looked up at me. "Yes, Aiden?"

"How are you?" Once again, a smile. Not genuine, it was forced. I didn't like it.

"I'm fine, Aiden. You should go now."

"Are you–" Not my business. "Okay, see you later, Miss."

"See you, Aiden."

My brows furrowed and fist clenched, I went to the door for a change of clothing before commuting to her house. Anxious and overthinking the whole ride.

"Hey, bud," smiling, I did my handshake with Aaron who beamed back at me.

"How's your studying, Aiden?" Aaron asked, making me chuckle.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that instead?"

"You know I do great in school, Aiden. But it was good, I had the time to familiarize myself with basic chemistry," Opening about his studying got him excited, it didn't surprise me when he started to ramble.

It took three hours of me teaching him more about chemistry before we heard his mom coming in. An hour late from her usual time. I noticed how she seemed more tired than usual.

"Mom!" Aaron ran to his mom with a hug. "Miss you."

"I miss you, too, baby. How's your day?"

I stared at the two, happy with the fact that her eyes seemed to shine a bit upon being close to her son. I took the liberty to prepare dinner so she wouldn't have to cook, having been doing it once in a while.

"Hey, Aiden," she greeted. Wiping my hands on my sides, I took her bag from her, placing it down the sofa.

"Hi, Miss. I cooked dinner," I informed.

"Really? That's nice of you. Thank you, sweetheart," soft hand touched my arm, giving me a light squeeze. The palm of her hand made contact with my skin and gentle fingers wrapped around. I shivered lightly at the mere touch, a blush creeping up onto my cheeks.

I followed quietly as Aaron led his mom towards the dining area where everything is already set up. Pulling a chair for her, I sat down on the seat next to Aaron.

"How is it?" I asked, hiding the fact that I was eager to know if she liked it.

"It's delicious, Aiden. Thank you for cooking, you didn't have to though."

I smiled at her. "I wanted to, don't worry about it."

In order to not ruin her appetite, I decided to tell her the situation after our meal, so as soon as we finished eating, cleaning up after our mess, and Aaron leaving for bed, I approached her.

"Uhm, Professor, I need to tell you something."

"What is it?" Pouring herself some wine, Professor Peterson gestured me to sit down beside her.

"It's about the class," I started out nervously.

"What about it? Why do you look so scared?"

"I don't want to upset you," I said in a low voice as I looked down on my lap.

My breath hitched when gentle fingers touched under my chin, lifting my face up to meet dark brown eyes. Tender eyes stared back at mine, a smile on her red painted lips easing some of my nerves.

"Hey, I'm not going to be upset. I promise."

"Okay."