You know that feeling when you're trying to suppress from breaking down in front of someone for so long and when you finally have the time alone, you just fall into pieces. Because that's what I feel right now.

The conversation happened yesterday but the pain still lingers. I chose not to go to class and hallow on my pathetic feelings. Her words echoing in my mind over and over again.

This doesn't mean I feel the same...

I consider you my friend...

I may have underestimated the admiration I have for Professor Peterson because as soon as her words hit and the rejection finally clear in my head, the unshed tears fell continuously and the pain intensified.

Imagine liking someone for the first time in your life only to be disappointed and left heartbroken. And despite trying to tell myself that it was okay, I couldn't help but feel like I deserved it. I couldn't help but think that my papa was right.

I am incapable of being loved.

"Aiden?"

A voice brought me out of my thoughts. I hurriedly wiped my face and frantically put on a show on my phone, just in time for Vera to enter the room.

"Hey–why are you crying? Are you okay?" She immediately went to me, gently grabbing my face and wiping the tears away. "Did someone say anything to you?"

I chuckled. "I'm watching a drama." I quickly showed the phone, but not enough for her to see what was on. "Sorry for making you worry."

Vera bit her lip and playfully slapped my arm. "I was about to slap a bitch."

"You can slap the writer of this show for me." I joked.

"On it, babe," she pinched my nose. "Are you sure you're okay?" I nodded, smiling. "Good. I don't like seeing you sad."

"Why?"

"Because it makes me sad too," Vera whispered, amber eyes staring into mine. Her hand still not leaving my cheek, thumb caressing my skin. "Besides, you're way prettier when you're happy."

I knew she was kidding and trying to make me laugh, and she succeeded. "So I'm ugly when I'm not?"

Vera scrunched her nose, nodding playfully. "Yup, soooo ugly."

"I remember when you were sad," I said, and her brow raised, also recalling our first meeting. "You were crying that time."

She squinted her eyes. "Why? Did I look ugly?"

I wanted to say yes but I couldn't lie and say she did. I shook my head. "No. You looked really pretty."

Her cheeks reddened, but despite the blushing, the red-head flipped her hair in a playful manner. "I know. It's something I can't avoid doing."

"Crying?"

"No," Vera pushed me lightly. "Being beautiful."

"Stop flirting you two!" It was Julius. "We're supposed to be leaving!"

"Oh right," Vera chuckled, blushing. "Take a shower and get dressed, we're going clubbing." I think Vera isn't aware that I say at the dorm whenever my friends go to the club.

I was about to protest and say I didn't want to, but the voice in my head demands a distraction. A big one. Something that will get my mind off of things. So without a doubt in my decision, I agreed to joining them.

My friends led me to a gay bar, considering that the majority won– Vera, Zoey and I being attracted to women. Besides, it's not like Julius and Lexie have to look for someone to flirt with, they're in a relationship together.

Taking a seat on the couch, the three girls wasted no time in ordering their drinks and going to the dance floor, leaving Julius and I alone on the table. And at that moment, I decided to fuck it, I'm getting drunk tonight.

"Are you sure, Aiden?" Julius asked worriedly, still holding the shot of tequila in his hand. "Maybe I can get you something lighter–"

"Julius, please. I need it." Sighing, Julius hesitantly handed me the glass and I wasted no time in drinking it. The liquid burning down my throat and the taste lingering in my tongue. "Oh shit, that's nasty."

"So, no more. One is enough for you–hey!" I took another shot, Julius not managing to grab it back from me. He glared as I grinned cheekily.

"Oh g-d, fuck, I thought it would taste better but it's still disgusting." I washed down the taste with the orange juice they originally ordered for me.

"Enough, Aiden." He said firmly, I raised my hand in feign defeat and nodded.

Already feeling dizzy, I let my eyes wander to the dance floor where the three girls are busy grinding on each other. They decided to get drunk today, while Julius offered to stay sober as the designated driver. As for me, well, I'm always sober.

Not this time though.

While Julius is distracted lusting over his girlfriend, I sneakily took one more quick shot of tequila. Leaning back down on the couch, I couldn't help but laugh at the way they were dancing.

My vision getting quiet blurry, I squinted my eyes as I tried to focus. Although despite the sudden dizziness, I felt relaxed, free. I feel fantastic!

"Juls, don't you think I look attractive all of the sudden?" I slurred as I stared at my own reflection. Damn, I look hot.

My friend shook his head. "Lexie is going to kill me when she's sober."

"Yup, she will." I laughed. "Ooh, they're coming!"

Lexie, Vera, Zoey and another girl I'm not familiar of approached us, all laughing and probably drunk. I didn't get to ask who the girl was because Zoey started making out with her. My mouth formed an 'o' as I looked at the scene happening in front of my very own eyes.

"They're kissing," I whispered to Vera who took a seat next to me. "Are they girlfriends?"

Vera shook her head and whispered back. "They're friends."

"Friends kiss each other?" I asked shocked, hand covering my mouth.

Giggling, Vera nodded her head.

"Can we do it too?" I wiggled my eyebrows, grinning.

Vera didn't answer and my eyes widened when soft lips pressed against mine, ravishing my bottom lip. My eyes closed instantly and I seem to forget how to properly think, her kiss is the only thing in my mind and the way her lips move against me.

My mouth moved on their own, despite not having any experience, I tried to match the movement of her lips. Groaning quietly, I pulled her close to me and responded to the kiss. A light moan escaped me when Vera pulled on my bottom lip with her teeth. I deepened the kiss, opening my mouth to let her tongue explore.

We both gasped when we were pulled away from each other, Julius breaking us apart.

"Yup, we are going home. You all are drunk as fuck."

Vera and I only giggled as Julius pulled all of us out of the club, leaving Zoey's kissing friend on the couch alone. I blew a kiss to the girl who winked at me.

"Hey!" Julius, who was having a hard time guiding all four of us into his car, stopped when he realized the voice was directed at him.

"Yes?" Julius questioned to the 3 girls who approached us. I squinted my eyes at the girl with curly hair and she stared back at me. Grinning, I gave a small wave.

She's sooo pretty.

"Where are you taking these girls?" The blonde one questioned with a raised brow, hands on her hips. "They're clearly drunk and honestly, I don't think you know them."

Julius sighed, exhaustion clear in his face. "Look, Miss. I get where you're coming from and thank you for the concern, but this one," he raised Lexie's hand. "Is my girlfriend, and those three are my friends. I know it looks suspicious that I'm bringing home 4 girls but I promise I'm not a bad guy."

Confused at what's happening, I whispered–quiet loudly–to Zoey. "Why does the blonde girl think Juls is bad?"

Zoey frowned. "I don't think he's bad."

I laughed. "Nooo, not you. The other blonde girl." I pointed at the stranger who glanced at me. Grinning, I also gave her a little wave.

"I don't know, Julius is stupid, maybe that's why."

Frowning, I nodded. I agree. Julius is stupid.

"T-They think he's going to do something bad b-because we're girls," Vera whispered to Zoey and I.

I raised my hand, interrupting Julius' conversation with the blonde girl. "He's my friend, promise," I placed my right hand on my chest. "And I don't think he's going to do anything to me."

I moved closer to them and whispered. "I have a dick, he's not gay."

😌