•

I have been in this hospital for two days now and it was driving me crazy, all I wanted to do was go home and see my baby.

"Hey." I smiled as Chanel walked in. "What's wrong?" I asked when she didn't smile back. "I didn't want to say anything when Jace was here because I know he'd probably go off."

I frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"I know Nicki." She said with a sigh. "You know?" At this point I was 100% lost on what she was talking about.

"I found you laying there. I was so scared. Why would you do that?" She cried. "I don't know." I said honestly, trying to blink away my tears.

"You don't know?! You tried to kill yourself Nicki!" She semi yelled at me. "I didn't!" I argued.

"Stop lying! I saw it; the pills." My eyes widened, I didn't realise she saw them and I was so embarrassed. "Chanel listen to me. I was only meant to take a few. And it wasn't to kill myself I swear." I tried to explain.

"Then why did you do it?" She asked, I took a deep breath and bit the corner of my bottom lip. "I wanted to forget what I did."

She frowned. "Forget what? Get to the point Nicki!" I nodded and began to tell her. "I wanted to forget-"

"Look Mani , mommy's up." Jace said stepping in the room with Armani. "Hey baby." I smiled reaching for her.

"You feeling better?" Jace asked as he came over to my bed side and pecked my lips. "Yeah."

"I'm gonna go find your doctor, we need do find out why you just collapsed like that." He said. "Oh they just told us, they said I was dehydrated." I lied.

"Damn baby all this because you don't be drinking enough. Had me scared for a moment I thought I lost you." He said and I felt guilty. "I'm sorry."

"It alright I know you didn't do this on purpose." I noticed Chanel roll her eyes as he spoke. "I gotta go." She announced.

"Chanel." I said before she left. "I love you." She nodded and left without saying it back.

•

I was woken up in the middle of the night by Nicki screaming, swinging her arms and legs in her sleep. "Nicki" I said trying to wake her up.

"Nicki! Wake up baby girl." I said louder as I tried to hold her. She finally woke up and looked at me with fear in her eyes. "It's okay, calm down. I'm here, it's okay." I said trying to comfort her.

"Jace hold me." She begged and I wrapped my arms around her. "Don't let go." She cried.

"I won't. Nicki this has got to stop." I sighed. "You've been waking up in the middle of the night screaming for weeks now."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise just tell me what's up. Maybe I can help you." She shook her head. "I can't be helped."

"What's wrong? What could be so bad that you can't tell me."

"It's nothing. I'm tired." She said sneaking out of my embrace and moved over to her side of the bed, with her back facing me. "Nicki."

"Nic.I know you're not sleeping."

"Jace please." She said softly and I heard her voice crack. I didn't want her up crying all night so I decided to leave her alone. "Alright I'll drop it for now."

•

I came home to see Armani sat in her high chair and Nicki feeding her. I walked up behind her and kissed her jaw. "What are you doing?!" Nicki jumped.

"Relax."

"I don't want you to touch me." She said with an attitude. "Why? What's wrong?" She shook her head and continued to feed Mani. I grabbed her hand and tried to pull her up from her seat."Come on"

"Stop." She said as I wrapped my arms around her waist and started kissing her. "Jace stop!" She yelled slapping me across my face.

I let go of her and pushed her away. "Fuck you Nicki." I said as she stumbled back.

"No wait. I'm sorry please don't leave me." I heard her cry as I walked away.

•

"Hey baby" my mom smiled as I entered her house holding Armani. "Wassup mama."

"Whats up with you?" She asked, reaching for Armani. I sighed and shook my head. "There's something up with Nicki. Like Somethings scaring her but she won't let up."

"How do you know?"

"She's always flinching when I touch her, she wakes up in the night screaming, crying for me to hold her, and to make it worse we ain't fucked in weeks." I said rubbing my hands over my face.

"Really Jayceon." My mom laughed shaking her head at me. "Mom I'm being serious she won't even let me kiss her."

"Just be there for her let her know you love her and hopefully she'll open up to you."

"That's what I've been doing but I can't wait no more. I'm about to lose my fucking mind."

•

"Hey baby. I missed you!" Nicki said jumping into my arms once I returned home from hanging out at the club with the guys.

She cupped my face and pecked my lips repeatedly until I turned my head so she caught my cheek. "Nicki we need to talk."

"About what?" She asked innocently. "You know what." I said and she buried her face in the crook of my neck.

"Why've you been waking up screaming? Why can't I touch you no more?" I asked. "Nothing. I'm fine." I felt something wet on my neck and realised she was crying.

"Stop lying. Just tell me. I'm worried about you." I walked over to the couch and sat down she was now straddling me. "Theres nothing to worry about." She tried to stand up but I held her arms securely. "Talk to me!"

"Get off me."

"Not until you tell me what's wrong." I picked her up and pinned her against the couch. "Tell me" I said hoovering over her. "Nicki please." She continued to fight me off of her.

"TELL ME WHAT THE FUCKS WRONG WITH YOU!" I yelled.

"I CAN'T!"

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