Camryn

Instead of hopping in the shower, I just turned the water on as hot as it would go and sat on the bathroom floor as it filled with steam. I was so angry with myself.

Derek was perfect. He was sweet and patient and everything he ever did was to help me. I should appreciate it more, not bite his head off when he tried to get me to talk about my past with Robby. The only problem was I had no interest in talking. I was working through it in my own way, and felt like I was moving on just fine. The only thing dredging up old memories did was make me feel ashamed and embarrassed.

In the depths of my heart, I knew Derek was right. None of it was my fault and I shouldn't feel guilty, but that didn't mean I wanted Derek to know about some of the very worst moments of my life.

I liked who I was with Derek, and that version of me was in jeopardy every time I had to remember the things Robby did to me.

I left Robby, but it was like he was a ghost in my current relationship. He was still finding a way to wiggle into my life and the more I thought about or talked about it, the more I felt it happening.

I would be so happy when Robby was in prison and we could put all of this behind us. I wished I could find the right words to get Derek to understand all of that, but I failed to explain it every time it came up. Instead, I just ran away and hid in the bathroom.

After a while, I came out and realized he and Riley had gone to the store. He left me a sweet note on the counter and I started dinner while they were out. For the last two months, even after knowing Robby knew we were alive and with Derek, I was more at peace than I had ever been. He was in jail, and each day that passed, I grew more and more confident he would stay there.

There had been no other threats towards us, and Derek, Riley, and I had settled into a dream world. We fit so well together; it was hard to imagine our lives without him once all of this was over, and I knew he felt the same way. I may have still been hesitant to admit it out loud, but I was falling head over heels for Derek.

Derek wasn't hesitant at all about telling me. In fact, he said it every single day. It was surreal to hear those words from someone who genuinely meant them, as if they carried more weight or were more significant coming from him. He told Riley every day, too, which she just ate up. She didn't need any convincing. She'd move to a shack in the desert if that meant Derek would stay with us.

It was perfect, and I had even stopped waiting for something to go wrong. I was just enjoying what was happening—at least before the last few days. Derek meant well, but I was going to have to find a way to get him to stop making me talk about it. It was like salt in my wounds, and that felt like the absolute opposite of healing.

"Mooooooom!" Riley called, bursting through the front door with Champ in her arms.

"Hi guys." I smiled.

Derek was following behind her, his hands overflowing with bags of toys, dog food, and treats.

"We got Champ some things." She chirped excitedly.

"I can see that." I laughed. "I could have taken her. I know the dog isn't exactly your thing."

"It was no problem." He smiled, ducking through the packages to give me a quick kiss.

"Did you buy the entire store?" I raised my eyebrows.

"We need options." Derek grinned. It seemed like he was buying in this a little more. "I also called a dog trainer. He's going to come out and get started tomorrow."

"I want to teach him to play dead." Riley chimed in.

"Sounds like Champ is growing on you." I slipped my arm around his waist.

"Well, he's pretty cute. And I like the idea of having a dog around for protection."

Riley helped me finish up dinner and luckily for me, Derek had moved on from our discussion earlier. He hadn't tried to bring it up again.

"I know you showered earlier..." He grabbed my hips, pulling me towards him. "But I was hoping for some company."

"Oh, yeah?" I grinned, tilting my head to the side as he kissed my neck.

He didn't say another word, just led me down the hallway. He turned the shower on as I peeled off my clothes. Derek ran his hands along my naked body, paying special attention to where my bruises had once been. They were faded and gone now, and little by little, I was feeling confident in my skin again.

Derek stopped touching me only long enough to take off his own clothes, letting them pool in a pile at our feet. My breath hitched at the sight of his powerful broad shoulders, each muscle bulging and solid. Vibrant tattoos covered his chest and arms, an image of a snake wrapping around his vein striped forearm. His dark hair was disheveled as I ran my fingers through it, and he pressed against me with his growing erection.

It was far from the first time I'd seen him naked, but it still stuck me as if it was. He was every bit of perfection, but my favorite part about him was his hands. The hands that held me as if I was his entire world. The hands that had only shown me love, and I knew always would. The hands that tangled in my hair and dried my tears and traced my curves and made me feel a ferocious blaze inside of me like never before.

Derek lifted me into his arms as I wrapped my legs around his waist and held on to him tightly. He opened the door, carrying me inside and underneath the cascade of scalding hot water, the glass fogging around us.

As my hips glided against him, I could feel Derek harden even more. He set me down and turned me around so my back was pressed against his strong, chiseled chest. I let my head fall back to his shoulder, arching my back and opening myself up to him even more. Derek groaned with pleasure, his thumb brushing against my jawline, down my neck and settling on my breasts, gently massaging and rubbing each nipple between his fingers. With each stroke, an intense fury grew inside of me, my body already giving in to his touch.

"Mmm." I pressed into him even further, the mind-numbing sensation getting stronger and stronger.

My reaction only egged him on. Derek's fingers trailed along my ribs and to my hips, holding on to them as he rocked against me. I ached for him, already wet and burning with anticipation. He could read me like a book and let one hand wander down farther, the tips of his fingers grazing the folds of my skin.

It wasn't nearly enough, and the tease was almost more than I could take. I tried to squirm out of his grip, but he held me tightly in place with his arm. Pressing into my back, he guided my hips backwards, so I was bent at the waist, my chest and cheek pressed against the cool tile wall of the shower. I steadied myself with my hands as he put his knee between mine, gently forcing my legs open for him. Derek reached between them, rubbing his fingers against my dripping wet entrance.

"Is this what you want, baby?" He whispered against my ear, kissing my neck and pulsing his fingers against my clit. Fast and the slow and then fast again, taking pleasure in the tease. It felt so incredible I couldn't even hold my body still. The more I squirmed, the stronger his hold on me got, which drove me even more wild. Making sweet and sensual love to Derek was one thing, but I loved when he was dominating just as much—maybe even more.

It was amazing what you realized about yourself when you were with a man who made you feel safe to be free. When Derek was rough with me, there was a loving undertone to it. He was doing it because he knew it made me feel good, not because he wanted to control me or to exert his power.

"God, Derek, yes!" I cried out.

The hand that had been between my legs soon clamped over my mouth, my wetness still on it. "I love it when you scream for me, baby, but I don't want to take a chance of waking Riley up. I've got to fucking have you. Can you be quiet for me?"

I nodded, pressing my lips tightly together. That wasn't a chance I wanted to take either. I was starving for Derek with every ounce of my soul, and it would be pure torture to have to stop now.

"Good girl." Derek smirked, fully embracing his dominance. He was always in control, but never too harsh.

"I know what you can do to keep that mouth quiet." He flipped me around, plunging his tongue into my mouth. I pulled away and stepped back.

"I've got a better idea." I smirked, dropping to my knees in front of him.

Derek's eyes widened in anticipation as I took his length in my hands. I had caught him off guard and I was taking the opportunity to get the upper hand. He closed his eyes, moaning as I stroked up and down his length, flicking my tongue against the tip. I wrapped my lips around him, and Derek sucked in a sharp breath. I slid him in slowly, moving my mouth up and down. I started to suck, swiveling my mouth around him as he moaned in pleasure. His fingers intertwined in my hair as I took him as deep as I could in my throat.

"Damn it, Cam." He whined, pulling out. "I'm not going to last if you keep sucking me off like that."

He took my hand, helping me up. "You are a fucking goddess."

"Are you sure you don't want me to finish?" I grinned, draping both of my arms over his shoulders.

"Oh, you're going to finish."

Derek turned me around, so I was pressed against the wall again, slipped inside of me with no kind of warning.

I gasped as his pace quickened, his hips rocking against mine. In and out and in and out, each plunge deeper than the one before. I bent farther, putting my palms on the floor of the shower. "Yes, Derek! You feel so good."

He needed no further encouragement, grabbing my hips and thrusting against me with a newfound ferocity and desperation. The electricity between us was palpable. I trusted him implicitly, and I never felt as safe and vulnerable as I did in his arms.

I felt myself on the edge and cried out again. "Please Derek! I need you!"

He pounded into me three more times before exploding inside of me. His whole body writhed with pleasure as he held onto me as if his life depended on it.

"Fuck, Cam." He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "That was incredible. Did it feel okay for you?"

"It was perfect." I smiled, pressing my lips to his for one last kiss. Everything was perfect.

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***If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence of any kind, please reach out to someone in your community. In the US, that number is 1-800-799-7233**