《Hold You In My Arms (Stevens book 9)》Chapter 15
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Fiona had thought herself into a hole. She knew one of her biggest faults was to overthink things, and she was sure she had done it once again, but the rabbit hole she had fallen down was too deep and dark to drag herself out.
She had gone to bed and replayed all that had happened between her, Henry, and Alistair that afternoon. One thing had become very evident to her was that Henry hadn't seemed surprised or shocked that the family had come up with a couple's name for them. In fact, it had appeared to amuse him.
What was it Alistair had told her? Everyone had known she had a thing for Henry since the moment she had met him, which had to mean that Henry knew it too. Had their weekend together been about pity? She could imagine Henry's thoughts, 'poor Fiona, working at a life she doesn't like, the lost little rich girl who has no friends'.
Fiona tossed hay from the back of the trailer into the stall a little more forcefully as she got mad at herself all over again. Clayton had charmed her too, and she had fallen for it. She had been so stupid to fall for it a second time. Fiona was so wrapped up in her thoughts and self-doubt that she didn't hear anyone behind her, and when she spun to get the next scoop of hay, Tiny was suddenly in her way.
"Tiny, what's up?" she asked as she took a step back in surprise at his sudden appearance.
Tiny took his time, letting his glance roam from her toes to her hair. He was particularly interested in her hair as he reached out and grabbed a strand that had come loose and tugged at it.
"Stop it, Tiny. That's not appropriate." Fiona took another step back which was a mistake because it backed her right into the stall.
"Not appropriate. That's funny. You don't seem to be too worried about what's appropriate when Henry is around," Tiny threw back at her as he stepped towards her once more.
"Excuse me?" Fiona asked, convinced she had heard him wrong.
"Maybe I will, and maybe I won't. That all depends on how nice you're gonna be to me." He took another step toward Fiona, and she raised her pitchfork and put it in his gut.
"If you walk away right now, maybe I'll be nice enough to let you leave quietly." Fiona pushed hard on the pitchfork and caused Tiny to take a step back. "Or better yet, I won't run you through in self-defense with this pitchfork."
"I doubt you would treat Henry this way. I'm sure you were much nicer to him on the little trip that you took together." Tiny's mouth twisted in anger.
"You're right. I was much nicer to Henry, and he was nicer to me, and he respected what I wanted, and right now, I want you to walk away and leave my property." Fiona pushed a little bit more with the pitchfork causing Tiny to take a step back.
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"Your property!" Tiny snorted. "It's your father's property, and you do a piss poor job of running it, that's for sure."
It was everything that Fiona never wanted to hear, as well as her worst fear realized. After all of her hard work, she still wasn't good enough. She wasn't good enough to have a man want her, she wasn't good enough to bring a child into the world, and she wasn't good enough to run her father's ranch. Nothing she ever did was good enough, and suddenly that thought made her mad at every man who had made her feel like she was less than they were. And here was good ole' Tiny ready to receive the brunt of her anger. Fiona couldn't think of a better person to take it out on.
"I'm only as good as the men and women who work here, and the first step to correcting that is to get rid of the likes of you." She rammed the pitchfork into his belly and pushed hard enough that Tiny started to walk backward, allowing her out of the stall.
"You have fifteen minutes to get your stuff and get the hell off my property, or I'm calling the sheriff to escort you off it." Fiona punctuated her words with one more shove of the pitchfork and had the satisfaction of seeing a few drops of blood appear on Tiny's shirt.
Who would have guessed that she could be so bloodthirsty.
Tiny, unbelievably, was still on the fence about what he wanted to do.
*******.
Henry and Roger were discussing the current market price of beef compared to years past as they entered the barn and heard Fiona's raised voice. They both stopped and looked around, and it took them a minute to locate her voice coming from the stall.
Henry also heard Tiny's voice as well. He was saying something about his and Fiona's trip to Austin. It was obvious what Tiny's intent was, and Henry jumped forward to help Fiona. His response was automatic, but Roger put a restraining hand on his arm, stopping him.
"Let her handle it," Roger insisted.
Henry cringed as he heard Tiny tell her that she was bad at running the ranch. He knew how hard that would be for her to hear, but after a brief pause, Fiona turned the tables on Tiny and fired him.
Henry wanted to cheer, and when he saw Fiona push Tiny out of a stall with a pitchfork, he wanted to tell her to push harder.
Fiona must have sensed his and Roger's presence because she turned to look at them after a moment. "Roger, would you escort Tiny off of the property, please?" she requested.
"Yes, ma'am, " he agreed with a serious expression as he walked towards Fiona and took the pitchfork from her hand.
Fiona didn't even acknowledge Henry as she waited for Roger to leave with Tiny, and once they cleared the main door, Fiona turned and quickly walked out of the other one. It led down the hill and toward the creek where her uncle had a house built in the trees, and Henry sensed that was where she was going because she couldn't be by herself at the main house with Alistair there. She needed some time to herself, so he let her go and finished up the stall she had left.
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When Henry was finished, he started down that way, slowly climbing the steps to the porch where he noted an open door.
"Fiona," he called, not wanting to frighten her. When she didn't respond, he entered the house and found her sitting on the oversized couch hunched over with her head resting on her knees. He sat next to her and rubbed he back while she took a deep, shaky breath. He had expected her to be crying, but she wasn't.
"You constantly amaze me, Fiona," he said with a gentle smile, and Fiona lifted her head and looked him square in the eye. She was angry, not frightened as he had imagined.
"Do I?" she asked in disbelief. "And here I thought I was easy to read. According to Alistair, the entire family knows exactly what I want and who I am."
Henry paused. It felt like a trap. She was mad, but was she mad at him?
"What are you talking about, Fiona?" Henry asked, falling into the trap willingly if it helped her.
"Finry!" She exclaimed in a burst of anger.
"Well, it's better than Heona!" Henry shouted back, completely lost.
Fiona looked like she wanted to strangle him.
"Fiona, I am sincere when I say I have no clue what you are talking about." Henry turned to face her.
"You weren't surprised by the fact that my family had a name for us?" Fiona turned to face him.
"I'm not surprised by anything your crazy family does." Henry frowned. Was she upset because he thought her family was crazy?
"You know! Just admit it. You've known all along, and what happened in Austin was nothing but pity!" Fiona spat. She was still angry, but this time there were tears.
Henry felt his jaw clench. "Would you care to explain that a little bit more?" He was doing his best to keep calm. What he had felt was anything but pity and it angered him that she thought so little of what had happened between them.
"The whole family knows..."
"About us?" Henry was now more confused. Had they found out from Alistair, and what the hell did pity have to do with it.
"No, about me, and you know too, admit it." Fiona jumped up from the couch and crossed her arms defensively
"I'm not going to admit anything until I know what you're talking about, Fiona." Henry stood too, looking down at her.
"You know that I've been in love with you since the first moment I saw you over fifteen years ago!" Fiona forced her gaze to meet his.
"In love..." Henry felt as if he had been punched in the gut. It was suddenly hard to breathe.
Fiona's face turned pink as she realized what she had said, and she turned her back to him, but he wouldn't let her get away with it. He reached forward she turned her back around.
"Why on earth would you love the likes of me, Fiona? Especially all those years ago when I was a scrawny kid?" He was floored. Other than Kate, Lily, and Lee, no one had expressed love for him.
Fiona's eyes grew wide, and her pink cheeks turned red as she tried to squirm away from him.
"You didn't know?" she squeaked, all of her anger gone in a flash.
"No," Henry shook his head, still stunned. "I didn't know. Why would I?"
"Because the entire family has known for years. I thought when you didn't show surprise at Finry that you knew too. Then I thought that you knew, and when I all but threw myself at you in Austin, you took pity on me and..."
"And what? Showed you a good time?" Now Henry was mad again as he grabbed her shoulders and shook her. "First, no one threw themselves at anyone. We were mutually attracted and still are. Second, I wanted you more than I have wanted any girl, ever! Third, did it feel like pity, Fiona?"
Henry pulled her close, and she fell into his arms.
"Does this feel like pity, Fiona?" he asked before let his lips take hers in a kiss that devoured her mouth.
******
Fiona felt herself groan against his lips, forgetting about her earlier embarrassment of admitting that she loved him. Henry had been shocked at her outburst. His question of why she would love him had broken her heart a little, even with the embarrassment that she felt coursing through her body at her admission.
Fiona broke away from the kiss, needing to say something but not sure what it should be.
"No, Fiona. You've given me enough to process right now. What I need from you is for you to let me show you that the last thing I feel for you is pity. Can you let me do that?"
Fiona nodded as he pulled her back into her arms.
Somehow, when his arms were holding her, and their bodies were connected, everything felt right in the world.
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