By the end of the time he finished telling me what had actually occurred the night we met, I was actually crying. I couldn't help it as I felt the warm tears trailing down my cheeks.

I wanted to ugly cry right now but I was trying to hold myself together for him. This changed everything. How could I not have known? I should have known.

Instead of running my mouth all the time, I should have payed more attention and listened to him. He was right, the world didn't revolve around me and I should've let him speak more. Maybe then he would have felt more comfortable about telling me.

"You know I love you right? I swear I really do." I nod and lean my head against his chest as I hug him again.

He doesn't wrap his arms around me like he usually does which makes me look up at him. He was just staring ahead as if he was lost in thought.

I turn around to see Duke standing by the door. I couldn't read what he was thinking as he stared at Heath but once he saw us looking at him he entered the room.

"I heard yelling." He explains, not moving his eyes away from Heath.

Duke finally looks down and I pull away from Heaths arms, quickly taking this chance to wipe away my tears. Duke rubs his forehead in stress as he looks back at him.

"Remember in high school when I found out you were living in your car? I offered you a place to live and I thought okay maybe now that means he can trust me." His voice holds some frustration but he tries to keep his tone down.

"That moment, I thought we were getting closer and that you actually trusted me. I helped you then and I'm still helping you now."

"What? Were you just gonna leave me and not even tell me why? That's fucking selfish." He spits out angrily. I could tell he was hurt by the look on his face.

Heath looks away before Duke gets his attention again.

"You said you didn't have anyone. But what about me? I was still there and I still am. I can't believe you would just leave me. And without giving any explanation. I thought of you as my brother."

"What, did you think I wasn't gonna be hurt if you were gone?!? Well you're wrong because I would have probably cried my ass to sleep every night. I can't believe this." He shakes his head as he takes a deep breath.

I let him have his moment because he was right to feel hurt. Heath was his best friend, this affected him too. Maybe more than me because of their relationship. But I felt like I've known Heath forever, it causes me physical pain to even know that at some point he'd want to hurt himself.

"I know." Heath says, looking at him.

"You don't know shit. You never even once acknowledged my help. Do you even like me? Because now you have me rethinking this whole friendship." Duke expresses angrily, throwing his arms up.

"I don't know how you do it Thalia but good luck. I've tried millions of times but you don't let me help you. I'm leaving." Duke turns around.

"Duke, wait." I don't want him to leave angry. They just had to talk about it, maybe talking will help them work things out. they had to understand how it made each other feel.

"No. I'm sorry Thalia but I don't want to be near him right now." He tells me before walking out.

I turn around to look at Heath as he sits on the edge of the bed. He looks down at his hands, zoning out.

"Heath" I walk over to him and sit besides him. He looks at me as I start to speak.

"I'm sorry that you ever even had the thought that you had to hurt yourself. I'm sorry that I didn't make you feel comfortable to tell me. And I'm sorry for always making things about me." I lower my head down as I apologize.

"I'll listen more. I promise." I tell him before continuing.

"If you ever feel that way again or just want to talk, you can tell me. Okay?" He nods and I really hope he'll do it if he ever needed to.

"I didn't mean to yell at you earlier or say that. I was just mad." He says quietly.

"Well it's true. It hurt a little but the truth hurts. I guess we both broke that promise to never hurt each other." I sigh, looking around the room to see that Buddy had already managed to escape downstairs. Beau stayed besides Heath at all times.

"I'm sorry." Heath mutters, his eyes moved to Beau as he petted him.

"Do you trust me?" I ask, biting my bottom lip.

"Yeah" He nods, slowly moving his eyes up to me.

"I think, that maybe it will be good if we just have some space for a few days. To think about everything." I look down at my fingers, suddenly finding interest in them.

"I don't want to." He tells me, completely focusing on me.

"Please, don't break up with me." He begs, looking into my eyes. He looked desperate.

"Heath, I'm not breaking up with you." I assure him.

"I just don't want you to feel like I'm the only thing in the world to bring you happiness. Because then that means you'll rely on me to be your only source of happiness. I don't want to be the only reason you're happy."

"I want you to be happy because you get to wake up every morning. Not because of me. I want you to bring happiness to yourself." I tell him, hearing the crack in my voice but I hold back my tears.

"And not just you. I realize I have to learn that too. To be okay with being alone sometimes. I don't always need you to be the reason why I'm so happy and you don't need me to be the only reason why you're happy."

"You have to find happiness in the little things. Because then what's the point? Like you said. So find your own way of being happy without relying on me or anyone else. That's what I want for you." I finish and the look on his face made me want to just hold him in my arms.

"Okay." He says but I can tell he didn't want to.

"I'll still talk to you, don't worry. You can't get rid of me so easily. Just a little less because I want you to be okay with being alone. Get it?" I ask him to make sure.

"I get it." He sighs again, looking away.

"And if you need anything or just want to talk, just call me." I tell him. I wish I could stay with him but he has to learn this. And I do too.

Because although, I get happy with just the sight of a dog. I have to learn that being alone is also okay and I can be happy without having to depend on someone else.

"I'll call you everyday." He tells me and I know he wasn't joking.

"That's fine." I agree and smile at him.

"You can talk to Buddy and pretend like you're talking to me. He likes when you talk to him." I chuckle at the thought.

I stand up and Heath does too, as I get ready to leave. I hope some time away can bring him some self reflection.

"You're still my girlfriend so you can't do anything too friendly with any other guy." He reminds me as if I didn't know.

"Don't worry, I won't. Hug?" I open my arms out and he steps in, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"I'll miss you." He whispered to me and I wish I could stay with him the rest of the day.

"I'll miss you too." I giggle and squeeze him tightly.

"I know that maybe I shouldn't be the one to ask for this but, maybe you could consider getting rid of the gun. The thought of guns make me.." I shudder and he gets the hint.

"I got rid of it a long time ago." He said, surprising me. A breath of relief comes out. I feel better about leaving knowing that.

"I told you I was better. You help." He shrugs, staring at the sight of bare skin in the crop top I was wearing.

"I'm glad you feel better. Im going to leave now but I'll call you." I hug him once more before backing away but he brings me back and pecks my lips once more.

"I love you." I tell him once again, he nods this time.

He walks me out where he kisses me again and I hug him before I leave. When I'm out of his house, I let out a sigh.

I still felt the dumb need to cry about it all but I kept in the tears. I don't want to cry at all. I just hope that we'll both make something good out of this.

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A/N

Low key got in my feelings with these last three chapters 😭😭🫢

8/21/22