Chapter Thirty-Three

Don hadn't talked to you for a few waking periods, which left you to wonder if the announcement of her death affected him more than he had let on. You cried some, or maybe a lot—it was hard to really keep track of it. Suki was in your room with you now, letting you rest in her arms while she put her fingers through your hair and talked to you about nothing in particular.

You were thankful for her presence. It was weird how much you needed this right now, but you weren't sure how you'd ever ask for it. You were glad she just knew. You would blink slowly as her hands shuffled your hair lovingly and lulled you into a peaceful state.

"Thank you for being with me," you mumbled softly, hoping you wouldn't have to repeat it.

"Of course," she hummed. "I could never leave you alone." The statement itself was odd, but you felt a warmth in your chest anyway. She was being much kinder—much calmer—than you had expected from her. You had conflicted thoughts in your mind since you knew she still cared for you a great deal, but out of everyone that had forced their affections on you, she was probably the one you felt the easiest around. It was strange, in a few ways, especially considering how that first incident had been the worst (probably?). Ryo's agreement made things calm at least, but he was still so strange to be around. You were pretty chill with Jason, and while you didn't freak out about Dianna's affections so much, you still felt like you didn't understand her.

Being around Suki was still strange, too, but she was trying. You appreciated it. "I feel so lost," you admitted out loud.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. I don't understand why Jenna has to be gone. I don't get it," you said. You were sure that you were just saying nonsense things that would be hard to respond to, but you needed it off your chest.

Suki shifted to where she could look into your eyes, and then she began to talk, "Honestly, I don't understand either. It doesn't make sense for us to be both alive and dead and makes even less sense for an attic to be one of the ways we can really die."

"yeah! Like, why?" you nodded, glad she understood you. Your eyebrows were probably permanently creased in concern.

"I don't know," she frowned. Her gaze moved from your eyes to the doorway, making you turn around in curiosity. Suki's arms restricted your movement a little, but you were still able to crane your neck and see the intruder.

"Jason," you said. It wasn't a greeting—more like a statement. An acknowledgment of his presence, maybe, but not even close to a 'hello.' It was always him, wasn't it? You barely noticed Suki's grip pulling you tighter.

"Hey (y/n)," he smiled warmly. His voice was soft, almost as if he thought you'd shatter if he spoke any louder. "I wanted to know how you were."

"Well as you can see, she's already with someone right now," Suki hissed. You were momentarily surprised at her angry response, but when you thought about the last interaction you remember between them—the dinner—you figured they hadn't patched things up yet.

Although you were definitely enjoying being with Suki—and you wanted to continue being with her—there was some draw to Jason right now. You wanted to see him. Somehow his smile had felt like the sun, and you wanted to see what made him seem so warm and welcoming right now.

"I do see that," he said, the cheerful edge to his tone making him seem unnaturally sarcastic. "And (y/n) is capable of answering for herself."

"No, Jason! Fucking quit it, ok? I'm sick of your shit—sick of you constantly taking her away from me! Can she just spend some time with me without you barging in? Just once?" she questioned, all of her emotions on display. You suddenly felt very uncomfortable in her arms. You sat up.

"Guys, we...don't need to fight," you said. You knew that wouldn't be enough, but you wished it was.

"I'm allowed to check on someone that I care about," Jason answered Suki noncommittally.

"You need to give me some space sometimes. Do you do this with anyone else, or is it just me you have a problem with?"

"Suki, you're being ridiculous," Jason took a step forward. You looked back and forth from her to him. They seemed to clash in the worst ways despite having been good friends when you first showed up.

"I'm not," she spoke, her glare serious and her tone low. "Don't take a step closer."

"And what if I do?" Jason snarked, his grin incredulous and his peaceful façade destroyed. "Look how uncomfortable you're making our favorite girl."

Your brain was yelling, what was up with them? What was up with him?

"She was fine before you came in here!" Suki shouted

"And she'll be better when she leaves with me," he said taking a step closer.

Like a crazed animal, Suki snatched you to her and shouted, "Don't take another fucking step!" You were crushed in her strong arms; your face was pressed into her shoulder making it impossible for you to see them anymore. "You don't deserve to be near her. Back off!"

Your heart rate rose exponentially as you pushed against Suki, trying to get in a position to speak, but it was impossible. She was very strong.

"Or what?" Jason asked.

Suki pushed you to the side, sending you further onto the bed as she stood. She looked menacing as she squared up against the man in front of her. Your eyes widened—if there was a fight, Jason would get seriously hurt. He had to know that, right? You were looking at her biceps right now. She could crush him.

You put a hand on her arm and told yourself not to think about how hot her arm muscles were, "Suki, what's this about?" Your hand was trembling. The idea that violence would occur was scary to you.

Jason frowned when he saw your interference. He was hoping to get Suki to do something unforgivable, even if it'd cost him a little pain. Suki turned to you, her gaze softening instantly. She didn't say anything, she only looked at you for a moment. Jason beat both of you to talk, "Don't you see how volatile she is? I just don't want you alone with her."

"Jason, come on," you frowned. "She's not like this...normally. Both of you need to settle down."

"Settle down? She's the one ready to beat me to death," Jason scowled. Of course, this plan wasn't nearly as successful without Suki beating the shit out of him. Right now, he just seemed like an asshole. He was sure that if he had some bruises and blood that you'd be on his side right now, tending to him. His heart fluttered at the thought.

It wasn't that he wanted to get hurt, but if you were tending to him and he could use it to convince you to stay away from Suki then he didn't mind. He huffed in annoyance.

"Jason, I'll hang out with you in a bit, okay? There's no need for me to leave Suki when we're hanging out," you said, hoping that he would accept that and leave.

You didn't like the look of his scowl. You were rarely on its receiving end, but now that you were (even if only for a second) there was a part of you that wanted to make sure you never had him look so disappointed in you again. How strange that one look from him can make me feel so much, you thought with a sad frown.

"Stay safe." He said gruffly. "And holler if you can't." With that, he turned to leave. You were glad, but also incredibly concerned. That was weird.

You turned to Suki, who now sat dejectedly on the bed. "Hey," you said softly, prodding at her. "Are you alright."

"Yes," she said, her voice seemed leagues more tired than it did twenty minutes ago. "I'm sorry you had to see that. I don't know what it is about him that infuriates me so much."

"He seems to really upset you," you nodded.

"I wasn't lying about being really mad with how he's been acting," she said exasperatedly. "But something about his face has just been pissing me off even more, like I see him and I see red." 'Like I have to eliminate him,' she added to herself.

"You guys haven't really hung out with each other recently," you pointed out. "Maybe you two need to just talk things out."

Suki was uncharacteristically quiet for a minute before she flopped back on the bed, her hair sprawling out around her. "You know what it's about, right?" She asked.

"...No," you said. You were lying, sort of. You hoped it wasn't about you, but it probably was.

With a tug of your arm, Suki pulled you to lay beside her. Your face flushed. "Liar," she huffed as she wrapped an arm around you and pulled you close. "You're so cute about it though that I forgive you. You know we're mad because...we both like you."

"I know," you admitted sadly, mumbling your voice in her shirt.

"I wouldn't have minded sharing you with him, but he obviously has something different in mind," she said with a scary edge to her voice. Embarrassment sank even further into your skin at the notion of being shared.

"I don't know what to do."

Suki turned her head to look at you instead of the ceiling, "Well, you could choose one of us."

"I don't want to do that!" you refused. "I don't want to lose either of you, besides, you two aren't...the only ones."

"I know!" she groaned, looking back at the ceiling once again. "But I liked you first, and that has to count for something, doesn't it?"

"I don't know," you spoke quietly.

"I bet you'd prefer a sharing system, too. It just makes the most sense!" Suki spoke as if talking to herself now. You didn't want to reply or think about it, really. After Suki realized you weren't going to say anything else, she sighed and kissed your forehead. "You should probably go see what's up with him before he puts his dick in a blender."

"Oh my god," you grimaced. "I'll see you later then, I guess?" you sat up.

"Yeah," she nodded, following suit. Her hand wrapped loosely around your wrist before you stood. She wasn't applying enough force to restrain you, but you complied anyway. "Hey, would it be okay if..."

"If?" you asked, turning to look in her eyes.

"Besides, if you love her so much, it's not very wrong to show your affection, is it?" Jason had said to Suki so long ago. Did he mean it or was It more of his awful games? She slipped her free hand on your face to pull you closer, the warmth of your skin was almost too much.

She really loved you, she really did, she just got so excited so easily. You sitting right on her for the past hour or so wasn't easy for her poor heart. Neither of you said anything when she closed her eyes and pressed a kiss to your lips.

She breathed you in and you didn't stop her. It was nice. You didn't really mind, even if it felt a little dangerous. When you two separated it was another moment of stillness before she moved away. "I like you a lot," Suki said, holding back from saying that she loved you a lot.

"I like you a lot, too," you said. "I just don't know...yet."

"I know. I'll see you around, (y/n)."

"See you around," you agreed, standing from the bed and heading to the door.

You were stressed and a little out of it, so you made your way to your room first. You wanted to sit and turn off your brain for a bit. Unluckily for you, however, someone was waiting for you by your door.

"...Jason?" He was staring at the floor as he absentmindedly scratched at his chin.

When he realized you were there, he perked up and turned to see you, "(y/n)! I was waiting for you."

"I can see that," you raised your brows and put an unsure smile on your face.

"I was worried about you," his voice dipped low while he stepped closer.

"I'm fine," you replied, hoping that it would diminish his worries. You were worried about him, after all. "Are you okay?"

"Me?" he almost laughed. He put a hand on your shoulder, just close enough to your neck to tickle a little and make you uncomfortable. "Well, I'm fine since you're here."

"Why were you pushing her?" you asked, trying to ignore the strange feeling you had in your stomach.

He paused to think before he spoke, "When I get scared, I get confrontational." It wasn't really a lie, but not the truth about what was going on. He wasn't scared. He just wanted to ruin Suki's relationship with you. "And she's been scaring me lately...you remember what I said about her being possessive."

"She isn't that scary, Jason! Really, she's been sweet to me," you pouted.

"Yeah, to you." He frowned. You hated when he frowned at you. It made you sad. "Just make sure you're not letting her isolate her."

"I'm with you now," you said. "You don't have to be so worried."

"Well, I'll stop being so worried for now," he conceded as a lazy grin grew on his face. "I'm glad I get to spend some time with you."

"Yeah," you shrugged. "I was going to go in my room if you wanted to come with."

"Yes," he nodded, moving out of the way so you could get to your door.

You felt strange as you turned your knob and let Jason follow you in, but at least you had gotten him to settle somewhat. You didn't know what to do about this mess, and now with Jenna gone, you felt very silly about it all.

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