Chapter Thirty-Four

Jason spent quite a bit of time with you. It started out awkwardly due to the tension surrounding the both of you after the fight he had with Suki, but eventually, everything was like normal and the both of you were laughing and talking about things. You really did like him. He was soft and funny when he wasn't angry with anyone. It felt special, somehow, a side of him that maybe was only for you.

You occasionally saw his gaze turn too tender, or how his eyes would linger on yours for just a moment too long. You were really in this mess, weren't you? Your mind hurt.

"I wish I knew how to grieve properly," you said somberly. The topic shift was random, but Jason had been expecting it.

"Odd thing for a dead person to say," Jason quipped. You said nothing but smiled tiredly at him. "But...I don't think you're doing a bad job," He said softly, seriously. "There's not really an answer anyone can give you but talking with people and being with people who care about can't be wrong." He placed a hand on yours. You stared at it and felt yourself tear up—you didn't want to cry right now, but you were probably about to.

"I just can't understand her being gone. I can't imagine just...being nothing."

"It's impossible to comprehend," Jason agreed, leaning closer. "I wish there were words I could tell you that would erase your pain, but there's nothing. This is a tragedy, and it's okay to be sad about it."

"I appreciate it," you nodded. You ended up leaning into him and giving him a hug. You were glad when he hugged you back.

"Maybe you should nap?" he suggested. You would like to nap when you thought about it, but your desire to be comforted seemed stronger. After the argument Jason had with Suki, cuddling with him might be used as ammunition in their next argument.

You shouldn't nap with Jason right now, as much as you'd like to (and you're sure he wouldn't mind it either).

"Yeah, probably," you agreed, thinking about Quince. "I think I'll do that. Thank you for spending time with me," you smiled. That seemed like the politest way to hint that he should go.

He took the hint dejectedly, "Yeah, no problem. I'm glad I got to spend time with you. Please don't hesitate to find me if you ever need anyone." You nodded at what he said and watched him leave the room. You were honestly a little surprised he didn't try to kiss you goodbye like Suki had, but you certainly weren't going to say anything about it.

After you felt like enough time had passed, you slowly exited your room to find Quince. He was a good cuddle partner. You had made it all the way down the hallway and into the next when you were pushed against a wall. Why? you groaned internally.

"Ryo?" You greeted, not surprised about the identity of the assailant at all.

He was quiet for moments, his eyes searching yours before he pulled you into a hug. Woah what the fuck? Unprompted affection? "I missed you," he mumbled into your hair.

You felt unsure when you wrapped your arms around him, patting him on the back once or twice, "I've been here the whole time..."

"I know," he squeezed tighter. "I'm a fucking idiot for not finding you sooner." You didn't know what to say. He didn't even sound like himself.

He pulled away from you, his hands still resting on your shoulders. He looked conflicted—a mirror of your own expression, you were sure. "I was...going to go find Quince," you admitted guiltily.

Ryo scoffed, "Why? I'm here now." And that's the Ryo I Know.

You rolled your eyes, "I was going to spend time with him."

Ryo's grip on your shoulders tightened, but only slightly, "Don't. Spend time with me instead."

You thought about it. That would probably be fine as long as he wasn't weird about it, right? You found yourself nodding before you were ready to actually agree—but you couldn't back out. "Well, only if you're okay with napping with me."

"You were going to nap with Quince?!" He sounded offended—you almost wanted to laugh.

"Well, yeah," you admitted.

"Let's go. I'm big spoon," he said, dragging you by your wrist to your room.

"Hey, hold your horses! Who said we were spooning?"

"Me," he called over his shoulder as he opened your door. You felt very awkward with him gripping your wrist like that while both of you stared at your bed. "Get in."

"You first," you refused childishly.

"I can't believe you make me do everything," Ryo groaned as he pushed you into the bed. You yelped in surprise. He towered over you, hands on either side of your head, for a moment too long before he shifted to lay down beside you. You hated that you blushed.

You turned on your side to get comfortable when you felt Ryo come a lot closer to you than you were anticipating. It was nice though—the way his arm rested over your side was comforting.

Or at least it did until he spoke, his breath warm on your ear, "Don't grind on me right now."

Your face was on fire "There's no way I was doing that!" you hissed.

He hypocritically grabbed your waist and pulled it flush against him, "You were."

"I-I'm sorry," you conceded. He didn't loosen his grip, though, and now his face was nuzzling into your shoulder. "I'm supposed to be napping."

"You always did have the boring turns," he sighed.

"Sorry," you breathed out, not really sorry at all. "I'm gonna sleep now." As you said that and began to actually try and sleep, Ryo's grip on you loosened. He was still clingy, but at least you could relax.

.:x.x.x.x.x:.

You woke up in a panic. It was fire, it was red hot. Things were on fire and you were about to joining them. Everything you could see was on fire—and with that, all rationality left your brain and you jumped from your bed. Ryo had to wake up now you had to leave now you both needed to escape now—you shook him and hit his shoulder until he woke up. The air was so hot on your skin you were sure you were going to catch on fire too. It was hot.

"Jesus, what the fuck?" Ryo groaned as he opened his eyes. You were crying at this point as you shouted at him to get up and get moving, but he was still sitting there as if nothing was happening.

"Do you not see the fucking fire?!" you shouted over the crackling. It was loud and louder until you thought you'd go deaf from it alone. Ryo sat up quickly, seeming concerned finally. Thank god, you sighed internally. You didn't expect for him to put his hands on your shoulders and sit you down on the bed—in fact, you were furious that he did. "What are you doing?!"

"What are you doing?" He said harshly even though his face was soaked with concern.

And when he spoke, the room was silent.

Nothing was burning.

There was still a ringing in your ears from the memory of the crackling, but other than that everything was still. Your eyes were wide. Nothing was on fire.

"I-I don't know," you shook your head "Oh my god, I swear, the room was burning, Ryo, I..."

You were sweaty and you hadn't hallucinated your own crying. You were like a puddle. Ryo stared at you. "I think there's something wrong," he spoke.

"I've never hallucinated so intensely," you mumbled, your gaze distant. "I mean, usually the presence of another person ends most of them."

"You hallucinate?"

"Yeah, it was supposed to stop after a while as it did for everyone else, but I still have them," you said softly, sadly. You could feel your heartbeat returning to its natural state.

"...Everyone else?"

"You guys all hallucinated too, right? When you first came...?" A headache began to settle in.

"I don't remember anything like that," Ryo denied. He probably just forgot after being here so long, you figured.

"I should probably talk to Quince about it," you thought out loud.

"Why?" He said, not even bothering to hide his disdain.

"he knows lots of things, and besides I... Don't know anyone else that would be suitable to talk about it with," you trailed off with a nervous laugh. You didn't think talking about hallucinating with Dianna would go over very well—not with Suki or Jason either.

"I'm right here!" he said, showing a lot more emotion than you'd expect.

"I appreciate it, but Quince might know something," you dismissed.

Ryo groaned and threw his body back onto the bed, "You don't need to depend on anyone else. I've already told you to depend on me."

You didn't know what to say to that. Ryo sat back up—with a purpose, it seemed like. His eyes looked determined and your heart beat faster in anticipation. "I want to kiss you now."

"I—what?" you asked.

"It's my turn I haven't had a turn in too long," he explained, his right hand tracing up your chin to hold your face. "Is it okay?"

Is it okay?? You weren't sure. You weren't sure about anything really. You nodded before thinking, "okay."

That was enough for Ryo. He Used both hands to bring you closer to him and hold you in place. His lips pressed on yours and then beside your mouth and on your cheek and right below your eyes—your whole face. Why? He was embracing you so lovingly you couldn't help but reciprocate the hold a little, even if you were confused.

"We're meant for each other," he said as he rested his forehead on your shoulder, his breath fanning your collar bone. "We're the perfect match. You don't have to talk to anyone else."

"Ryo... I don't know about that," you said softly, squirming in his grip. He loved when you did that. "I still want to talk to everyone else."

"Fine. But you're mine, you know that? Not Jason's, not Suki's or Dianna's, and not Quince's."

You cringed, "I'm not anyone's."

"But we belong to each other," he whined. "Hold me back, (y/n), hold me like I'm holding you."

That was admittedly something you could do, so you did. You held him tighter and closer, hoping that was enough. "I think I need some time to myself," you asked.

"Fine," Ryo conceded. Unexpectedly, he pushed your form onto the mattress and towered over you. A small grin grew on his face at how nervous you looked.

"What are you doing--?"

"Just don't talk to anyone too much, I'll come see you soon" he requested and scowled.

"Oh...alright," you agreed, not intending to keep the promise at all.

"Good," he nodded, pressing a final kiss to your forehead. "You're better than all of them. You're the only one I like. Don't forget," he said as he stood from you. You didn't respond, you just sat up and watched him leave. He looked back at you a few more times than necessary before leaving.

You let out a breath.

What a doozy...

I need to find Quince.

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