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I walked in to dinning room hoping for him to be not in there and still in his room sleeping away the tiredness but did it ever happen as I wished. At the moment, I was standing on the threshold of dinning room thinking if I should run away or gather my courage and walk in.

And again my choice was taken as Mummy saw me standing there. "Noor chanda, come sit."

I knew that she probably thought that I was surprised by his arrival which had me standing there staring at his back.

She pointed to the seat next to him and asked me to sit there. I wanted to be anywhere but near him but I couldn't just sit anywhere else. It wouldn't look good.

I pulled the chair next to him in a way that it moved a bit away from his chair.

"Salam mummy, pappa." I greeted them ignoring his presence and maybe it was noticed but I didn't care.

"W. Salam beta." Pappa looked from his newspaper and greeted me with a smile.

I may have ignored his presence but it didn't mean that I couldn't feel it. His stare was causing me to clutch on my kameeez tightly as I poured the juice in the glass.

Mummy was already talking to Jahan making sure that he had every single dish from table. I could hear him speaking once or twice answering in his rich voice. The table was filled with his favourites. Those and many more that mummy made me learn by heart. She was a mother. She couldn't remain upset at him but I noticed that pappa was not having any decent conversation with Jahan.

I was munching on my raspberry jam covered toast that suddenly mummy started talking about rukhsati.

"Ab Jahan ageya hai to shadi k date set kardani chaheye. (Now that Jahan is here, we should set a wedding date.) There is no need to wait anymore. What do you think Ali?"

My heart was in my throat. Wedding. I looked at pappa. My eyes pleading for him to say something against it.

"Do as you wish but make sure your son doesn't run away again."

Mummy ignored the jab and looked at us with a warm smile. "Then after two months a wedding will be held.

My hands were trembling. I placed the half eaten toast back on plate. My now cold tea still remained untouched.

"Noor chanda."

I placed a warm fake smile on my face as I looked up at her. "Ji, mummy."

"Ap ko koi aitraaz?" (Do you have any issue?)

My hands clenched in a fist. I looked down and shook my head. Just like that, I again crumbled. I didn't want to disappoint her. She was the only mother figure that I knew and even if I take a decision. Where I would go. To an empty house. The society would claw a divorcee without any parents to support. If I do it, I would lose the only family that I have. We humans can never live in solitude and I was no different.

My parents married each other without blessing of their family. My father and mother side of family cut all their ties with us. They didn't even attend my parents funeral claiming to have no relation with them. Pappa and Abba were good friend from their college time. Our families had tight and beautiful bond that remained same even after years My abba also had shares in the Shah enterprise. Financially, I know I would face no issues but socially, there would be a lot especially with no one at my back.

When my mother died. Mummy raised me. She became my mother in ever sense. Abba always felt indebted to her. It wasn't easy for him to take of me while looking after business but he managed only with Mummy's help. I remembered coming here after my school and staying until abba came from work and took me back to our home. I didn't know why I asked for divorce last night knowing Jahan again would leave unscathed but I won't be able to.

It was a compromise. Living with Jahan, reconciling with him. This wedding is compromise just like the nikkah. I could never forget the ignorance with which he treated me for three years.

I pulled the chair away and stood up. "Mummy, I should be leaving. I have a lecture to attend."

She looked at my plate. "But chanda, you have not eaten much and you didn't even have your tea."

I walked to her and placed a small kiss on her cheek. "I will have something from cafeteria."

"Main tumhe le jata ho." (I will take you.) He took the keys and started walking out.

Mummy ushered me out and I could do nothing but follow him. I reluctantly pulled on the passenger seat door and sat inside. He turned on the ignition and started to drive.

The silence in the car was not comforting. It was filled with tension. I glanced at him from corner of my eyes. He looked intimidating and at ease with his elbow resting on the windshield and with his hand under his jaw. The other hand on the steering wheel turning it when needed.

His honey coloured eye at the front. I pulled my gaze away from him. I didn't want to look any further.

I never wanted to be in his nikkah. Jahan always had been an intimidating and strict older brother for me. I never saw him otherwise. With our eight years of age difference. It seemed impossible. More over I truly treated mummy as my mother which truly made it difficult for me to see him in any other sense.

The car pulled at my university. I was about to pull at the handle and open my door but his finger grabbed my wrist.

"Ruko." (Stop.)

I turned my head in his way. He pulled a diamond ring from his pocket. He took hold of my fingers and stretched them and pulled it down on my ring finger.

It had three round diamond aligned on the front of the gold coloured band. The middle one was slightly larger then the other two. His hold on my finger tightened a bit enough to make me realize that he demanded my attention.

I looked up at him expecting something. An apology. I know it would make it better but it never came.

"Ye maine pehna de hai ab to kabhi utarne ni chaye, smajh gayi." (Now that I have placed it on your finger then it shouldn't be ever removed, understood.)

I nodded my head. I couldn't understand his callousness toward me. It hurt even through I wanted it to not.

"Ilfaz noor." (Words noor.) It was the first time that I was hearing my name from his mouth after our nikkah. His tone was a bit gentle then before and at my name it grew softer but it didn't fool me.

"Ji." (Yes.)

I finally opened the door and got out. He car remained outside until I was safely inside the perimeters of university.

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I was sitting in the cafeteria of the university munching on some french fries with warm tea just as I like

My friends sitting there beside me clicking on their phone.

"Yar Noor, when are you going to let us see jiju." Zara placed the phone on her table before stealing a fry from my plate.

Rabia hearing the topic of our conversation pulled her phone away before pulling her chair closer.

"Zara is right. Koi tasweer he dikhdo." (Show us any photo.)

"I don't have any. Eik maheni mein shadi hai, dekh lena." (Wedding is in one month, see him then.)

I glanced at my wrist watch and stood up excusing that Khan baba must be here waiting for me at the gate.

I know that I sounded rude but after they saw the ring on my finger. They started asking question so I had to tell them that I was engaged and my. marriage was in two months. From so on, they started pestering me about Jahan asking to show his pictures. In this way, my only safe heaven. The Jahan free zone was taken away from me. I couldn't help being annoyed.

Khan bana was already there with mummy sitting inside. I opened the back seat door and sat beside mummy as Khan baba dove to mall.

These days mummy would already be waiting in the car. We would go straight to shopping after university. Many things were done and bought. The cards were also distributed. It was same today except that mummy took me to the lingerie store where she made me bought different sets while I blushed profoundly.

We walked out of the mall to the car. Jahan was sitting on the driving seat with his phone on the ear talking to someone angrily.

I pulled the front seat door and sat in and caught some very harsh words that were exchanged. He was actually scolding a employ.

He turned to me and looked at me up and down with frown set on his face. His jaw clenched as he turned the ignition and manoeuvred the car out of the mall.

"Noor. You haven't called interior designer. There is only a month left."

I glanced at him who still looked angry as ever. I didn't think he would like it if I changed the room according to my taste so I never called the interior designers.

"It's fine as it is."

"As you wish chanda but I think the room needs a feminine touch." Her words they held a double meaning which we both recognized.

He drove to MM Alam road where we had to check out some boutiques and clear some payments and receive some orders.

He stopped the car in front of a boutiques and placed his hand on mine. "Ami you should go. She will join you later."

I was actually shocked with his boldness even through I knew nothing would happen here. He would only scold or command me but mummy didn't know it.

I looked at mummy through front review mirror pleading through my eyes but she just shrugged her shoulders and went out. Now what did I do.

"Mere sar me dard hai." (I have a headache.)

I was confused at first. Is he now going to blame for his headache?

I remember that I always kept some disprin in my purse as I usually had headache. I picked the small plastic cup from the holder and pored water in it. I dumped a tabled of disprin in it and shook the cup to dissolve it.

"It's effective." I gave him the cup which he took from me. He gulped the it one go. It tastes horrible but he didn't make any expression. I didn't mind having bitter meds but after having disprin dissolved in water. I couldn't help but make a sour expression.

I was about to get out and open the door but he again took my hand.

"Mera sar dobao, bohat dard hai." (Massage my head. It's hurting a lot.) His voice sounded tired and now I noticed that he had dark circles too. He have been working late nights in company. He even left earlier. I was okay with this routine as it helped me to avoid him for a month.

"Magar mummy." (But mummy.)

"Apke Mummy ko acha lage ga jab unhe pata chale ga k unki baho unke bete ka kheyal ni rakh rahi" ( Will your mummy like it when she gets to know that her daughter in law isn't taking care of her son.)

It felt like he was blackmailing me into massaging his head but didn't the disprin work. It always does for me.

"Magar yaha kaise." ( but here, how?)

"Sit in the back." I did as he said and made myself comfortable in the back.

Just a minute later, he joined me and laid his head on my lap with his upper body sprawled on the seat and legs hanging.

He closed his eyes. I tentatively placed my fingers in his hair bitting on my lips as colour reached my cheeks. I had to admit that his hairs were soft and very silky. I had the urge to play with them.

My fingers at first slowly and cautiously started to release knots at his temple and scalp and then as time passed. I got comfortable and my fingers kneaded and stroked restlessly. Some groans would occasionally leave his mouth. It brought a smile on my face.

Time passed quickly with his head on my lap. I felt his breath evened out. Thinking him to be asleep, I pulled my hand away but they were instantly grabbed and he opened his hone brown coloured orbs.

He kissed the inside of my wrist of my right hand. I felt goose bumps raise in my body as my cheeks flushed. I looked at his shirt button avoiding his eyes but I felt his intense gaze.

"Shukria begum." (Thanks wifey.) His voice was husky and very low with a hint of possessiveness.

I tired to pull my hands out of his grip but he jerked my hand making me bent a bit so that my face was close to his own with my some of my long strands falling on his face.

His one hand gripped both of wrist tightly while the other pulled my hair strands out of his face. My hair strands also formed a curtain on my face which he tucked behind my ears.

"Ainda se khule balo k sath roads pe ya malls pe na pirhna. Mujhe tum pe ye gair nazree pasand ni aye." ( from here after, don't parade on roads and malls with your hair open. I didn't like the eyes of strangers on you."

His voice was laced with possessiveness but he didn't spoke those words rudely where and his voice was very soft and gentle.

He loosened his hold on my hand and I pulled them away from his grip. I placed the dupatta on my head as I didn't have any hair band or pin. I usually don't leave for university with my hair down but today I showered in the morning and I was in a hurry so I forgot to pick up the band.

"Good girl. Now leave ami must be waiting for you."

"If you want you can sleep here. It may take us some hours."

"Hmm." He closed his eyes again. How would I leave if he didn't get up? I sighed and took a cushion that was placed at the back. I pulled away a bit holding his head in my hand and placed the cushion underneath it.

"Thank you again."

I didn't say anything and pulled the door open and got out. I looked at the wrist watch to find that I have been in there for fifteen minutes. Haye Allah. I slapped my head what would I tell mummy but at least the windows were black and no one saw us. I started thinking about an excuse and as I cursed Jahan in my head walking into the boutique.

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