______________________________________

He was furious and that fact couldn't be hidden. I understood his position but I didn't have time to make him understand everything. I needed to go back.

"Jahan. How could you do this knowing that I love her?"

He yelled. The office door was open meaning someone could have easily heard us. There shouldn't be anyone here other then my assistant so I wasn't a bit worried but I still wanted to avoid creating any scene.

"Sometimes fate intervenes. She wasn't meant to be your."

I calmly replied trying to put some sense in him. It happened. It was a waste of time for him to fight over this.

"She doesn't want to be with you."

I tried to keep my tone calm but his words triggered my anger. He only brought out a insecurity that I kept covered in layers of clothes.

"She loves me Jahan."

He stood before me jabbing his index finger in my direction. Yes, his words effected me a lot. I knew it too but it never felt good to hear from someone else. I kept my calm from outside even through inside I was reeling with anger.

"She is my wife and what proof do you have?"

I knew that they never confessed so I waited for bewildered expression to take it's place on his face instead I was met with a smile.

"Hear it yourself then."

He pulled out his phone from his pocket and a minute later. His voice started echoing through the room.

"I love you Noor and I wanted to marry you. How could you do this?"

There was a pause when a minute later. I heard a very familiar voice. A gut feeling told me whatever this recording had. It wouldn't be something that I would like to hear.

"It just happened. Abba was in bad condition. I couldn't refuse. I had to make a decision."

A part of me wanted to just shut it down and other wanted to hear what would my wife say further. Would she be loyal to me?

"You love me. This all isn't enough of a excuse. You could have waited and asked for time."

"I did. I truly did."

Her voice felt sad and dejected as she spoke further.

"Ibad. Mane apse muhabbat k Hain. (I have loved you.) I can't deny it."

I waited for her to say something more. Anything to soothe those last words but nothing came out and then Ibad spoke again from the recorder.

"Then now what?"

I wasn't sure if I wanted to know the answer of this question.

"Everything will be fine." Her voice came out serene and calm.

"Everything will be fine. Just believe me. It will all sort out."

Then the recorder stopped. Nothing came out as my mind repeated those words again and again.

"Divorce her Jahan. She doesn't want to be with you. "

" Get out. " I yelled.

He gave one last glance and left through the door. The anger built and betrayal sang it's symphony in my heart. I wanted to hurt something badly as I was hurting inside.

I pushed on table with clenched jaw and everything on it fell down. I never lost my cool but my wife. My dear wife made me feel every single thing that I never felt. Every emotions was intensified with her.

My anger, my possessive, so my hurt and insecurities. The insecurities that she built.

I set on floor, closing my eyes with my head down in my hands. A feminine fragrance invaded my nose as someone pulled my hands away from my face.

"Jahan, I heard Everything."

"Are you alright?"

It was Sara. She was sitting on floor before me with concerned face that I didn't like. I slapped her hand away which was cupping left side of my face.

"Leave."

She teared up at my harsh tone. "Jahan, I love you."

I chuckled sarcastically. Love. I wanted to laugh.

"Why don't you see it? Your wife that you so dearly hold in your heart doesn't love you but I do."

She pulled my hand placing it on her heart like giving a testament. So I thought. Why not test her so called love?

I looked at her dangerous with narrowed eyes as I questioned her.

"You love me?"

"Yes."

"Enough to marry me knowing that I won't ever reciprocate even a bit of it?"

She hesitated. I already expected a negative answer. It didn't matter to me. I just wanted to have a upper hand. I just wanted to see the defeated look on her face. To see the pain but what came from her mouth was unexpected.

"Yes. I would. I love you so much that I believe that my love would be enough for both of us."

She looked straight into my eyes bravely saying out those words without any hesitation.

"So marry me Jahan."

At that moment, I decided wasn't it better to be with someone that loves you instead of being with someone that you love.

◼◼◼◼◼◼◼◼◼◼◼◼◼◼◼

My small movements made the sheets rustle. My hand unconsciously searched for the warm body that occupied me in my nights. My eyes flew open when there was no warmth to pull my body into.

The events of night were vivid in my head. The rumpled sheets and cold side told a story that he got up early. The coldness of that side seeped into my very core.

I unconsciously pulled on the blanket covering my body completely, tugging it under my chin as I set upward with my legs tight together underneath my chin.

The warm sun rays seeped through the open balcony door. Spring was near. The winter was drifting but it felt like the cold bitterness in my heart was just setting claws.

Could everything be same after this? No, nothing could be. He walked out of the balcony door. Our eyes clashed there.

I looked away. Not wanting to get in contact with him so I hurriedly stood up, pulled a dress from closet and walked straight into bathroom.

Took every single piece of clothing off and stood under the ice cold shower, desperate to get numb enough to not feel. To not feel this clawing nails that were just scratching, scratching and scratching off the skin of my heart.

I clamped my fist to my mouth to muffle the sobs. I didn't know when I fell on my knees. Naked, vulnerable and shivering . Where the tears started and they ended? Who cared?

Minutes later, I pulled myself on feet. My hands and feet were wrinkled being under shower so long.

I put on the clothes walked out of bathroom. My wet hairs dripping the drops down my back. I had the full intention to leave the room immediately to avoid him.

I decided to not to even bother with my hair and turned toward our bedroom door when his hand grasped on my wrist and pulled me back.

He stared right back at me. I didn't pull away from his gaze but still tried to pull my wrist out of his grip.

"Abhe bhe ni pouchna. (Still, don't want to ask me.)"

He wanted me to give him a single word so that he could explain everything. I only wanted know one thing.

That may prove to be balm to my burning wounds. It would be a relief to those clawed wounds that were left on my heart.

"Pehle ya dosre? (First or Second?)"

He parted his lips but closed them again. Why did it felt like that those honey brown eyes were begging me to not ask this question? Jahan Sikander begging. I laughed at my own thought.

It would be easier if she were to be first. It would feel less like a betrayal and a bit more understandable. He was forced to marry me. It was a known fact. It would explain everything but what he said next just made my heart more bitter. It felt like that he spat on my wafadari (loyalty) of the last three years.

"Donsre. (Second.)"

I tugged my hand harshly and walked away. I was glad that he didn't try to stop me. I wanted to be as far away as I could.

After getting into kitchen, I immediately started to help in making the breakfast. I remained in kitchen while everyone else set at the dinning table.

Some time later, Sana walked in. I kept pretending to work by setting thing here and there.

"Why are you still here? Aao khana khao. Sb tumhara pouch rahe hai. (Come have breakfast. Everyone is asking for you."

I couldn't make an excuse as she pulled me out of the kitchen. I took my seat beside Jahan as I had no other choice.

"Kahan the? (Where were you?)" Dadu asked me immediately as I set down.

"I had some work."

She didn't ask me further even if she did caught something in my tone. She only adviced me to take care of my health and not to be late for breakfast or any other meal.

Jahan filled my plate with food and glass with water just like every other time. It all felt the same just except the ache in my heart.

I kept picking at my food not exactly eating, taking some small bites, drinking sips of water occasionally. I had no appetite. Everything felt tasteless.

"Beta. Theak to ho. Ankhe bhe surkh aur soje howe hain. Chehra bhe zard hai. (Are you feeling good. Eyes are puffy and red. Your skin is also pale.)"

Taya Ami concern filled question brought everyone's attention on me. I must have looked sick. It was the first time since our marriage that I neglected my appearance.

"Jahan, sb khair hai. (Is everything alright?)"

Mummy asked him directly when I was unable to provide with an answer. I didn't need to look to know his reaction. A momentary silence remained. He was about to answer but I intervened. I wasn't just ready to commercialize our relationship when I wasn't sure about my next step.

"Just caught a little cold. I will be fine."

Satisfied by my reply, she hummed before asking me to go upstairs to take rest. With this opportunity provided, I didn't waste a second, stood up and walked straight to my room.

Jahan didn't follow me. Fifteen minutes later. A maid came with joshanda, tea with butter and Panadol.

I glanced at those on things and smiled dejectedly. If only it was a cold that could be cured so easily. What I had was far more complicated. Something that I didn't even know if I wanted it to be cured or not

The day went by. I had my lunch with Sana together in my room. There were times when I just wanted to cry and tell her everything but I stopped.

Later at night, Jahan came in our room. He saw me lying on bed and questioned.

"Dinner ni karoge. (Won't you have dinner?)

"Bhook ni. (Not hungry.)" I couldn't help but ask. "aur apne ni karna. (And won't you do it?)"

My foolish heart couldn't help but care. It was a know fact that his work was straining with managing office of CMs and his companies at same time.

But was he only managing the office? These unwanted thoughts kept raising. Sara, did he keep seeing her? Why wouldn't he? She was the woman the he loved and I was just his wife.

I switched on the t.v. I read the red headline as the reporter kept informing me about the breaking news.

"Malik Ahmar has been arrested from his house in Lahore."

There was the video playing as the police took him from his house and into the van.

"The NAB found evidence against him on doing money laundering and having offshore settlements."

Jahan walked in bathroom giving the news only a casual glance. He was blank faced like he wasn't the one that made this happen.

Jahan has truly decided to destroy Malik Ahmar. I knew that there was nothing that would stop him. Malik Ahmar just signed his downfall by Jahan that very night and I would be the one to witness all of the atrocity.

◼◼◼◼◼◼◼◼◼◼◼◼◼◼◼◼◼