Niall's POV

"You're such an idiot."

"We don't love you."

"You're so ugly."

"You're a pariah, you don't belong here."

Their words slurred and tattooed themselves to my soul and brain, but they were drunk.

And the thing is, they never remembered what they did to me the night prior.

******************

"God Niall, we hate you so fucking much, why are you still here?"

"We don't even love you; you're just our playtoy."

"You're such a cockslut, always bottoming for us you little whore.

"You're so pale, you could blend in with the walls."

They're drunk Niall, they're drunk. They love you.

*************

"You're such a good for nothing piece of shit."

"You're no good."

"We should find someone better boys."

"Yeah, he's worthless."

They love me. They love me. They love me. They love me. Do they though?

*************

"I hate you."

"I hate you."

"I hate you."

"I hate you."

They hate me.

***********

"You're so fucking fat."

"So fucking worthless."

"So fucking ugly."

"So fucking pathetic."

I'm fat, worthless, ugly, and pathetic.

***************

"You're such a whore."

"A slut."

"No, he's a cockslut."

"Our bitch."

I'm a whore, a slut, a cockslut, their bitch. Nothing to them.

*************

"Where's Niall?"

"I don't know, I haven't seen him all day."

"Wanna go check up on him?"

"C'mon."

I hear their footsteps coming up the stairs, and my body rattles harder with my never ending sobs. I can't face them right now. I need to be better for them first; I can't afford them seeing me in such an... inadequate state.

The door bursts open, and I feel the presence of four looming figures surrounding the bed.

"Niall?" I hear Liam's soft voice call out, which sets me into a new fit of tears. I've missed his gentle voice, for all I've been hearing from him, all of them, is harsh and cruel words that ruined me irrevocably.

"Niall, baby, what's wrong?" Harry asks. At that, I lost it.

"DONT YOU DARE CALL ME BABY. ALL YOUVE BEEN CALLING ME LATELY IS WORTHLESS AND DISGUSTING. YOU FUCKING RUINED ME, I HATE YOU ALL." Tears were ruthlessly dripping down my face as I gazed at their rather obfuscated faces. They were staring at me as if I've grown two heads, not believing a word I've just roared.

"Everyday, I have to deal with the four of you being drunk, and lashing out on me. You just... transform into monsters when you're wasted. You start calling me things you once promised me I was their antonym. At first, I just blamed it on the alcohol, but once you start hearing words from the people you love and trust, regardless of their state; the words, they just... adhere themselves to your brain, and that's what you did to me. Every insult, every mean comment is now engraved in my brain. You broke me." I concluded, gasping for air due to my violent sobs.

"Niall, we're-" I interrupted Zayn.

"Shhh, I don't want to hear it. You've already said enough."

Their pained expressions made me turn my gaze away from them. I still love them, regardless of what they've done to me, so it pains my heart seeing them hurt.

"We'll fix you Niall, I promise." Louis solemnly stated.

I smiled despondently. I don't think their words can ever not haunt me.

••••••••••••••

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