Warnings

☞ strong language

☞ character death

Everyday, Niall had to watch the love of his life agonizingly wither away: physically and emotionally, rendered helpless by the fact that he could not abate his pain or take it all away.

Harry happened to be another hapless victim of the virulent cancer. The malediction attacked first his lungs then spread to all of his organs ruthlessly and left chemotherapy an inevitable option for the younger boy.

Harry was very . . . accepting when he first received the news. Niall on the other hand lost his equanimity and was fully convinced that that was the end of the world, for the both of them.

Harry was the stronger one of the two; Niall could always count on falling back on Harry, so he did not know how he was supposed to be the strong one for the both of them now.

After countless sleepless nights filled with tears and empty promises of stability, Harry was finally admitted into the hospital permanently.

That was three months ago.

"Hi baby, how are you feeling today?" Niall chirped as soon as he burst into Harry's hospital room, then proceeded to lean down and press a gentle kiss to his pale forehead.

"I think I'm going to shave my hair off today." Harry muttered staidly.

"Harry . . ." Niall trailed off.

"No, Niall. I need to do this. I'm getting worse, not long is left for me, we both know that, and I'm tired of watching my hair fall off steadily, ringlet after ringlet." Harry replied, despondence lacing his voice.

"Let me take you out today, before you shave your precious curls, curly." Niall suggested weakly.

"Are we even allowed to do that anymore?" Harry chuckled bitterly.

It twisted at Niall's heart, how defeated his voice was. Harry used to be so strong, and now he looked like a little child who just watched a horror movie- his eyes wide and panicked.

"Well, no, but we will. Just give me a couple of minutes. I'll be back right away." Niall stated with determination.

Harry's voice stopped Niall short just as he was about to leave the hospital room.

"Niall?"

"Yeah baby?"

"I love you." And yeah, if Harry was asked about his panacea, he would definitely say the irises bearing sparkling blue convolutely mixed with golden specks that adorned Niall's face in a heartbeat.

"I love you too, angel." Harry's heart fluttered in his chest as Niall sent him his 'Harry smile' before he left the room. He liked to believe that this smile never came out to anyone but himself, so he titled it accordingly.

When Harry was allowed moments of serenity, his first prepossessing thought was Niall. He did not want to leave his blond fiancé in this world alone. Harry would not get the chance to vow to protect, love, and cherish him. He would not get the chance to experience growing old with Niall like he had envisioned. Harry was resentful about the fact that he would not get to spend enough time with Niall. He felt like there was still so much to do, so much to do with Niall, but he has to leave the world so early.

Harry was of course grateful, for he got to experience life with Niall, even if it was a paucity of time, but at least it was enough for them to fall in love and put a ring on it.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by the euphonious voice of his beloved fiancé.

"Haz! They agreed to let you out with me for a whole day!" Niall cheered.

"Really?! How did you manage to let Margaret agree to that?" Harry was honestly surprised but ecstatic all the same.

"Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. H, never doubt the power of your fiancé." Niall smirked cheekily.

"Yeah yeah. Now would my oh so strong Niall help me up and get me dressed?" Harry rolled his eyes fondly.

"Your wish is my command princess." Niall spoke in a faux posh British accent that had Harry heaving for air from laughter, but their joyous mood was immediately dimmed when Harry began coughing violently. Niall immediately rushed to his side and placed his hand soothingly on Harry's back.

"Are you okay?" The concerned blond inquired gently.

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine. I don't think my lungs appreciate laughter anymore." Harry chuckled acrimoniously trying to make light of the situation but failed miserably.

"I'm sorry." Niall whispered morosely.

"Stop telling me you are fúcking sorry! It is not your fault I'm about to die and it is not even your fault I was cursed with this monster in the first place. So why do you keep on apologizing?" Harry snapped harshly and instantaneously noticed how the glint of élan once present in Niall's quixotic eyes dimmed at his blurted rant.

"I'm sorry I couldn't save you." Niall shrugged his shoulders dejectedly. "I'll call a nurse, and I'll be waiting outside."

Harry watched as Niall walked out of the room for the second time this day, defeated rather than happy. He did not mean to snap at him the way he did, and it killed him to see how he managed to extinguish the fire in his eyes with three simple flagrant sentences.

His train of thought was interrupted when his favorite nurse walked into the room.

"Hi darling. How are you feeling today?" She reminded him of his mother, or of the bits and pieces he recalled about her. He hasn't seen his mom in seven years. It was the day he came out to her with Niall. She was so disgusted by them, calling him an 'abomination' that must be 'inoculated'. She consequently kicked him out, but he was welcomed into Niall's arms and his family's warmly.

"I'm okay." Harry muttered.

"And I love my husband." Martha deadpanned.

"Really?" Harry quirked a brow at that.

"No, silly, and you're not okay either." Martha laughed softly.

"I snapped at Niall today." Harry lowered his head in shame at that.

"Ahaa, now that explains why he came to me crying . . ." Martha trailed off.

"He was crying?" Harry gasped as compunction overwhelmed him.

"The sight of him was heart-wrenching, poor boy."

"Martha!" Harry exclaimed.

"Hey, I'm not the one who made him cry." The aging nurse held her hands up in surrender.

"I didn't mean to! I . . ." Harry broke off into a groan and ran his hand through his hair in frustration.

"Harry dear, I've been in this hospital for far too long. I've seen many patients diagnosed with goddámned cancer go through it alone or with their significant others. But trust me when I say this, I've never seen a lover so torn up about it as Niall is. Of course they feel sad, but they never once came in at night begging me to let them in because they can't sleep without their other half by their side.

Niall comes here every night Harry to catch two hours of sleep curled up around you while you're asleep then cries in my arms, then he straightens himself up for you to wake up with a hopeful but hesitant smile directed right at you. Have you ever really looked into Niall's eyes? They hold so much sadness in them for a young soul like his to bear, yet he insists on never showing you any of that.

He thinks it would be selfish if he showed you how affected he is by the entire ordeal, claiming that you're the one who has cancer, after all, and he should not be the one whining. I've never seen such fidelity, and if I were you, I would hold on tightly to everything that Niall has to offer because that boy loves you lots, and that kind of love is rare nowadays." Martha patted his shoulder gently, knowing that she probably shocked the boy to his core.

Simply put, Harry was obfuscated.

He cannot believe he has been a foreigner to the behind the scenes of this travesty. He was too caught up in his own thoughts and feelings to think about Niall's. His knight, his baby, was hurting and he did not know anything about it entirely.

Harry gasped at the sudden attack of feelings that came at him, straight to his heart. He has been hurting the only person who has truly been there for him through everything, inanely.

"Martha, can you please help me get dressed?" Harry requested frenetically.

"Of course sweetheart." She whispered gently.

Thirty minutes later, Harry was all set to go. Martha fixated all the fluid bags attached to him and moved them to the itinerant stand for easier movement.

"You're all set honey." She placed a loving kiss to his forehead and helped him stand up.

Harry walked out of the hospital room and into the waiting room to see Niall sitting there with his head in his hands.

"Niall?" Harry called out hesitantly.

Said boy hastily looked up from where he had his head in his hands, and the conceived smile he offered wounded the curly headed boy deeply. He looked so fatigued, and Harry hated the fact that he was beginning to notice all of that now.

"Are you ready to go baby?" Niall forced his voice to sound cheerful and stress free.

"Yeah, I am." Harry was having a hard time not pulling Niall into his embrace and holding him close like old times and assuring him that everything would be alright, all the while apologizing profusely for being so ignorant towards his feelings and wellbeing.

"Well come on then. I have somewhere to take you in mind that I think you might like." He winked at Harry and his heart fluttered in his chest because wow, when did he get so lucky?

"I can't wait." He smiled softly in response.

The car ride there was comfortably quiet. Niall seemed to be lost in thought, his eyes holding a faraway look that haunted Harry because he was the reason for that.

so baby hold on tight until death do us apart

"We're here." Niall sang.

Wide eyes looked around only to see what could be labeled as iconic. It was nothing too pompous, a seemingly unbounded verdant and vacant field that appeared to be outstretched infinitely.

Niall must've gotten out of the car while the struck lad was busy ogling the picturesque green because he was now standing in front of Harry's door with his hand held out for him.

"Niall, when did you find this?" Harry asked, gobsmacked by the place's beauty.

"I was driving around town once and I stumbled upon this heavenward pasture." Harry rolled his eyes at his fiancé's use of sophisticated words to describe the place.

"You and your love for literature." He scoffed fondly.

"You love it. Makes you swoon when I declare my love for you using big words." Niall placed a kiss to Harry's hand and gently led him towards the greenery before them.

Niall guided Harry to the red checkered cloth he carefully laid out and proceeded to help him lie down on it. Once he deemed Harry comfortable, he moved to snuggle up to him only to have Harry wrap his needles-free arm around him.

"Why did you bring me here Niall?" Harry asked in a low voice, not wanting to disturb the extremely comfortable aura around them.

"We haven't really spent time together in so long, so I thought bringing you here and just cuddling up in your arms would be nice." The tired boy explained.

"Why didn't you tell me you were hurting so much?" Harry ran his fingers through Niall's hair soothingly; he knew how much the older boy liked it.

"What are you talking about?" Niall sucked in a surprised breath at Harry's words.

"Martha told me everything Niall." Harry sighed.

"I didn't want to sound querulous because I have no right to be. You're the one who's always in the dámned hospital bed, not me." Niall spoke quietly into Harry's neck.

"I'm your fiancé Niall. You said we will go through this together, but you were hurting and I didn't even stop to think about how you would feel, I can only imagine. I'm so sorry." Harry apologized then broke off into tears at the amount of guilt that was smothering him right now.

"Hey hey hey, don't cry now. I chose not to tell you, and you shouldn't beat yourself up about it. You're going through enough already, and the last thing you need is me to worry about."

"But I love you, and all my thoughts are about you. I'm always thinking about you." Harry insisted breathlessly.

"It's okay Harry." Niall pressed a kiss to Harry's jaw comfortingly.

"My poor baby, you look so tired. When was the last time you properly slept?" Harry cooed.

"Three months ago." Niall whispered.

"Okay, we're both going to sleep now." Harry stated in his no nonsense tone.

"But-" Niall protested.

"No, buts. You need to rest properly, and a certain someone told me that you sneak in everyday to sleep in my arms." Harry grinned as a light rosy color kissed Niall's pale cheeks.

"Okay." He relented.

Harry turned to lie on his back, and Niall placed his head on Harry's beating heart. The consistent and comforting sound was Niall's lullaby and soon enough, the blond drifted away into the darkness.

"I'll miss you baby. Take care of yourself for me." Harry pressed a kiss to Niall's forehead then closed his eyes, one last time.

so baby hold on tight until death do us apart

A•N•

2300 words

This was requested by @LittleZaynThings, I'm sorry it took me forever to write your request; I hope you liked it though!

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