Narrator's POV

Two weeks before the new school year, Draco and Harry received their Second Year school letters while eating breakfast.

It read, "SECOND-YEAR STUDENTS WILL REQUIRE:

•'The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 2' by Miranda Goshawk

•'Break with a Banshee' by Gilderoy Lockhart

•'Gadding with Ghouls' by Gilderoy Lockhart

•'Holidays with Hags' by Gilderoy Lockhart

•'43 Travels with Trolls' by Gilderoy Lockhart

•'Voyages with Vampires' by Gilderoy Lockhart

•'Wanderings with Werewolves' by Gilderoy Lockhart

•'Year with the Yeti' by Gilderoy Lockhart."

Several hours and a dozen floo calls later, the group of Slytherins made plans to met up at Diagon Alley tomorrow.

***

*Flashback - Two Weeks Into Summer*

Harry awoke on a bright day to see a brown owl knocking on his window.

He quickly got up and let it inside, untying the letter on its leg.

***

Half an hour before Draco and Harry were going to shop for supplies for the new year, Lucius led them into Knockturn Alley.

The man led the two boys past booths and carts to a shop called 'Borgia and Burkes' and said, "Touch nothing, children."

"Hello, Mr. Borgin." Lucius greeted the old man who come from the back room

"Mr. Malfoy, what a pleasure to see you again." Mr. Borgin said "And young Master Malfoy, and young Master Potter, too— charmed. How may I be of assistance? I must show you, just in today, and very reasonably priced—"

"I'm not buying today, Mr. Borgin, but selling." Lucius said

"Selling?" The smile faded slightly from Mr. Borgin's face

"You have heard, of course, that the Ministry is conducting more raids," Lucius said, taking a roll of parchment from his inside pocket and unraveling it for Mr. Borgin to read "I have a few items at home that might embarrass me, if the Ministry were to call..."

"The Ministry wouldn't presume to trouble you, sir, surely?" Mr. Borgin asked, making Lucius' lips curl

"I have not been visited yet. The name Malfoy still commands a certain respect, yet the Ministry grows ever more meddlesome. There are rumors about a new Muggle Protection Act —no doubt that flea-bitten, Muggle-loving fool Arthur Weasley is behind it— and as you see, certain of these poisons might make it appear..."

"I understand, sir, of course," said Mr. Borgin. "Let me see this list."

After finishing the list, Mr. Borgin handed the list back to Lucius.

"Good day to you, Mr. Borgin. I'll expect you at the manor tomorrow to pick up the goods." Lucius said, leading the boys out

After leaving Knockturn Alley, the trio met up with the others at Gringotts.

The large group including: Lucius Malfoy, Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter, Luna Lovegood, Xenophilius Lovegood, Hermione Franqui, Barty Crouch Jr, Bellatrix LeStrange, Neville LeStrange, Pansy Parkinson, Theodore Nott, Tadeus Nott, Louis Rosier, Evan Rosier, and Victoria MacNair, made their way into Gringotts.

Several Goblins came up to help them: the two Malfoys, two LeStranges, and Harry with one.

Since Hagrid still had his Vault key, the Goblin —Griphook— said that Harry would have to do the blood test to prevent that he was himself.

The five wizards entered Griphook's office and the goblin pricked Harry's finger with a needle and let it bleed on a paper.

Behind him, he heard both Bellatrix gasp and Lucius inhale sharply.

"Can I get a new key made, Griphook?" Harry asked

"Yes —for a fee of twelve galleons." Griphook answered

"That's fine." Harry replied

Griphook momentarily left the office and returned with a gold key and handed it to Harry.

The group of six entered the vaults and collected money for the shopping.

***

As the group approached Flourish and Blotts, they saw to their surprise a large crowd outside the doors, trying to get in.

The reason for this was proclaimed by a large banner stretched across the upper windows: "GILDEROY LOCKHART will be signing copies of his autobiography 'MAGICAL ME' today 12:30 P.M. to 4:30 P.M."

"We can actually meet him!" Pansy squealed "I mean, he's written almost the whole booklist!"

A long line wound right to the back of the shop, where Gilderoy Lockhart was signing his books.

Each Second Year child grabbed a copy of 'The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 2' while the two Seventh Years grabbed 'The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 7'and sneaked up the line to where the adults were standing in line.

As the approached the front, Gilderoy Lockhart came slowly into view, seated at a table surrounded by large pictures of his own face, all winking and flashing dazzlingly white teeth at the crowd.

The real Lockhart was wearing robes of forget-me-not blue that exactly matched his eyes; his pointed wizard's hat was set at a jaunty angle on his wavy hair.

A short, irritable-looking man was dancing around taking photographs with a large black camera that emitted puffs of purple smoke with every blinding flash.

Gilderoy Lockhart looked up and saw Ron in the crowd far ahead of the group of Slytherins, he leapt to his feet and positively shouted, "It can't be Ronald Weasley?"

The crowd parted, whispering excitedly; Lockhart dived forward, seized Ron's arm, and pulled him to the front.

The crowd burst into applause.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Gilderoy said loudly, waving for quiet "What an extraordinary moment this is! The perfect moment for me to make a little announcement I've been sitting on for some time! When young Ronald here stepped into Flourish and Blotts today, he only wanted to buy my autobiography —which I shall be happy to present him now, free of charge" The crowd applauded again "He had no idea, that he would shortly be getting much, much more than my book, Magical Me. He and his schoolmates will, in fact, be getting the real magical me. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I have great pleasure and pride in announcing that this September, I will be taking up the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!"

The crowd cheered and clapped and Ron found himself being presented with the entire works of Gilderoy Lockhart.

Staggering slightly under their weight, he managed to make his way out of the limelight to the edge of the room, where Ginny was standing next to her new cauldron.

"Bet you loved that, didn't you, Weasley?" Draco sneered to Ron "Famous Ron Weasley, can't even go into a bookshop without making the front page."

"Leave him alone, he didn't want all that!" Ginny defended

"Not as surprised as I am to see you in a shop, Weasley," Louis taunted "I suppose your parents will go hungry for a month to pay for all those."

Ron walked toward Louis, hands balled into fists, but Arthur Weasley grabbed the back of his jacket.

"Ron!" Mr. Weasley said "What are you doing? It's too crowded in here, let's go outside."

"Well, well, well - Arthur Weasley." Lucius sneered

"Lucius." Arthur said, nodding coldly.

"Busy time at the Ministry, I hear, all those raids —I hope they're paying you overtime?" Lucius taunted, reaching into Ginny's cauldron and extracted a very old, very battered copy of A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration "Obviously not," Mr. Malfoy said. "Dear me, what's the use of being a disgrace to the name of wizard if they don't even pay you well for it?"

"We have a very different idea of what disgraces the name of wizard, Malfoy." Arthur replied

"Clearly," Lucius replied, his eyes straying to Dean and Seamus' parents who were watching apprehensively, "the company you keep, Weasley —and I thought your family could sink no lower."

There was a thud of metal as Ginny's cauldron went flying; Mr. Weasley had thrown himself at Lucius, knocking him backward into a bookshelf. Dozens of heavy spellbooks came thundering down on all them, Mrs. Weasley was shrieking, "No, Arthur, no!"; the crowd stampeded backward, knocking more shelves over; "Gentlemen, please - please!" cried the assistant

"Break it up, there, gents, break it up--" Hagrid was wading toward them through the sea of books, in an instant he had pulled Mr. Weasley and Mr. Malfoy apart.

Mr. Weasley had a cut lip and Lucius had been hit in the eye by an Encyclopedia of Toadstools.

"Here, girl, take your book —it's the best your father can give you." Lucius replied, thrusting the book bask at Ginny

The Weasleys, Thomases, and Finnegans stormed out of the shop.

Unknown to all, Gilderoy Lockhart was staring at Harry with a slight smile on his face.

***

Several weeks earlier, Tom Marvolo Riddle, aka Lord Voldemort, —while inhabiting the body of a snake— came across Gilderoy in the forest and rushed to possess him, where he'd been ever since...