Darcy's P.O.V

I woke up in that blasted bed and groaned as I got up and stretched. I tried recalling the previous night but I couldn't remember anything. I assumed I must have been really tired and brushed it off. Though I couldn't help but feel very weird. Not physically, but mentally. I couldn't pin-point what it was but I didn't like it. I kept having the urge to cry, and sometimes I would without even realising.

As the days went on, my strange behaviour got worse. I would wake up crying and my sessions with the doctor were becoming something I hated.

I hated everything.

I was angry and depressed.

I couldn't remember anything and I didn't have any family or friends to see and the doctor said I needed to stay even longer.

He couldn't even tell me WHY!

Stupid doctor.

Stupid hospital.

Stupid life.

I hated my life, and that was the truth. I hated everything and I started to re-think things through. I didn't want to get out of this hospital, I wanted to get out of my life. I wanted to permanently escape reality and I could only think of one way to do so, but that option wasn't available.

Dan's P.O.V

Since Darcy's escape, my heart kept breaking more that it had originally. I thought she would remember me. I thought the doctor would let me see her! But instead she didn't remember anything, and her behaviour had gotten worse.

It started off as her randomly crying. Then she started doing things like scratching her arms and pulling at her hair. Then she stopped talking to the Doctor. Stopped eating. And eventually she wouldn't move, just sit on her bed staring at the mirror. It was scaring me, and the doctor wasn't exactly sure what to do at this point. He insisted it was the medication or whatever but I could tell it wasn't that.

She was depressed and lonely, but she wasn't desperate or hopeful.

I was worrying and I couldn't sleep. The image of her staring directly at me with bloodshot eyes and pale skin was burnt into my mind and it wouldn't leave.

"It's been another week Dr Hodgons! Can't you see she is absolutely broken? I won't just sit here and watch her like this!" The doctor shook his head.

"Even you can't get her to cooperate! She hasn't taken her medication in days! She is supposed to be getting better not worse! YOU'RE A DOCTOR! HELP HER!"

"BE PATIENT DAN! NOT ALL THINGS HAPPEN WITH THE CLICK OF YOUR FINGERS! Look, we are doing our best. Patients like Darcy snap out of it within a few days, it's just a temporary phase and we have to be patient" I scoffed and shook my head.

Unbelievable.

And he calls himself a specialist...

"What if she doesn't snap out of it? What if she stays like this? What will you do then?" I asked but the doctor ignored me, too fixated on Darcy.

Her eyes pierced my soul, and even though she couldn't see me, it sent shivers down my spine. It reminded me of a horror film movie, and I expected something horrible to happen any moment now.

It had been another few days and she hadn't moved from her position. The doctor tried persuading her to eat or sleep, but she would just scream at him then cry.

I started noticing that the tears on her cheeks were constantly there now, and I couldn't help but cry along with her on occasions.

I was simply broken hearted.

Phil thought I should start seeing a psychiatrist, that this whole thing was messing with my brain. I accidentally snapped at him, started screaming and crying and releasing all the bottled up emotions. Luckily he forgave me the next morning but he was right, this whole thing was getting to me, but I couldn't give up now.

Phil ended up emailing the BBC that we wouldn't be doing the show for a few months, which was a huge risk for our career but they understood and agreed. This meant that Phil was coming in more, but he wouldn't stay for long. He was just as disturbed as I was and I knew he hadn't been sleeping. The darkness under his eyes was becoming more prominent , a strong contrast to his exceptionally pale skin.

One night, I got home late and wandered into the kitchen absentmindedly to see the large pack of beer we had bought for parties had been opened. I didn't even hesitate to grab one myself and sit in the lounge watching a blank TV.

It took only half a week for the pack to run out. Phil and I weren't talking either, which didn't bother me until I realised it. Our lives were spiralling down all because of Darcy not with us, and it made me question how we lived before we even met her. Before Phil found her and saved her.

"Dan?" Phil asked one afternoon as we sat with bottles in our hands

"Yeah?" I replied but avoided making eye contact.

"What are we doing? Drinking and staying up and not eating enough isn't going to change the fact that she isn't with us. We aren't making things any better."

"I know" I responded, but my voice cracked and I turned away from Phil, not wanting him to see the tears in my eyes. Phil took the beer from my hand and I heard his footsteps before the sound of bin opening and closing.

"Come on, we need to get back into shape, clean the house and shower. Maybe order some pizza and watch some buffy?" I smiled and wiped the tears, looking up at Phil. He really did know what was best and I couldn't imagine life without him.

"Sure" And we did everything Phil said, but I didn't have the guts to enter Darcy's room, nor did Phil.

"Feeling better?" He asked as we sat back on the couch, this time with pizza instead of alcohol.

"Yeah, thanks. I've just been really out of it... you know? My head is all messed up and I just really want Darcy to get better but she keeps getting worse and Dr Hodgons won't do anything. He keeps saying it's a phase but I know its not. She's depressed and lonely and needs help, why cant he see that? He's a doctor for Christs sake" I stuffed the end off a new piece of pizza in my mouth, watching as Phil finished his and wiped his mouth with a paper towel.

"Give her time Dan, you need to be patient with things like this" I sighed through my nose , Phil sounded just like the doctor.

"I'm right, I know I am" I mumbled and Phil didn't argue, deep down he knew it was true.

She needed help.

She wasn't going to snap out of it without help.

But nobody was helping her and nobody was allowed to except Dr Hodgons.

~the next day~

Phil had decided to spent a day doing laundry and going grocery shopping, which meant me taking the tube again. It didn't take long for me to get to the hospital and when I did, the doctor looked stressed and tired.

"She has been like this for nearly two weeks , and we can't seem to get her to talk to us, or eat. She hasn't taken her medication in far too long, and she really does need some sleep. I am going to try reason with her now, and I expect she won't be happy. All I ask Dan is that you please stay calm during the whole thing. I'm doing the best I possibly can at this point" I nodded and patiently waited as the doctor received Darcy's meal and entered her room, locking it behind him.

"Good morning Darcy" He said and placed the meal on her desk.

"Go away" She grumbled but her eyes stayed fixated in my direction.

"Darcy you need to eat something or else you won't get better and you will be here longer"

"GO AWAY!" She shouted aggressively, the echo sending shivers down my spine.

"If you don't eat then you will get very sick" He informed her.

"I don't care" She murmured and I sighed. Come on Darcy.

"Don't you want to get better?" He asked her.

"I want to die"

My heart sunk and a whimpering noise escaped my mouth before I sobbed loudly and the tears fell freely down my cheeks.

"Why?"

"Everything" she muttered and lifted her head before turning and facing he doctor.

"I can't remember my past. I have no friends or family. I have mental issues and I'm stuck in here until I get better, which I never will" The doctor shook his head and smiled softly at her.

"You will get better, but that's your choice. And who said you didn't have friends? Darcy, things take time and your memory is one of them. You have an amazing life, just because you don't remember it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist" She looked up at the doctor, the tears gone from her eyes.

"Then tell me about it, please!" She begged. The doctor sighed and I could see he was weighing the options. Darcy aware of her past and possibly having another attack? Or Darcy not aware of her past and back to being depressed and wanting to die. I hoped to god he would make the right decision.

"You lived in an apartment, in the city with your boyfriend and his friend. They saved you after some very horrible things happened to you. You loved painting and creativity, and you were very happy" Darcy thought over what the doctor said. She was processing it and about a minute later she responded.

"Tell me about my boyfriend and his friend" This was where he would be taking a real risk. By giving her information about me, she could potentially get her memory back all at once and have an attack. If that were the case then much like last time, she would wake up with no memory of the conversation at all.

"They are called Dan and Phil, and they care a lot about you. They have actually been visiting you, although you can't see them." Darcy was quick to respond.

"Are they here right now?"

"Dan is, he has been visiting you everyday and he really does love you" The doctor looked up at me for a second then back at Darcy. I couldn't hold back the grin on my face and I wiped the tears from my cheeks.

"Can I see him?" She asked and I held my breath, praying for the answer I wanted.

"I'm not sure that is a very good idea. But do you remember anything about him or your life from what I've said? Do you recognise anything?" She was quick to shake her head and I could see the doctor was slightly relieved though I admit to wishing her answer was yes.

"What does he look like?" She asked, changing the subject quickly. The doctor chuckled, glad she was feeling better and amused by her seriousness. Though to be fair, if I didn't remember my past I would be asking questions too.

"He is tall, has brown eyes. Bulky ,but not muscular or fat. He has dimples, but only when he smiles and a side fringe" I could see Darcy try and imagine me in her head, but she looked like she was struggling.

"Tell me more" She requested but the doctor shook his head and stood up.

"I don't want to overload you with too much, the last thing we want is for your memory to come back all at once and for you to have another attack" Darcy didn't say goodbye to the doctor, or respond to anything else. Instead she stayed silent and still, in her little mind palace again. She was trying to fit things together, and forcing memories but it wasn't working. She still couldn't remember.

I spoke to the doctor afterwards and he promised that he would daily continue to feed her small portions of information like he previously had been. When I got home I repeated everything to Phil and he was glad to hear the news.

Darcy slowly started eating and taking her medication again, and at the same time I did too. I caught up on sleep and even went out a few times. I started regaining my hope that Darcy would be out of there soon, and that her memory would find its way back peacefully.