"We need to talk about us."

"Us? Right now? Why?" I asked feeling a bit confused by the sudden mention of our relationship. Something is not right. And I want to know what.

He's acting weird.

"Look, I've been keeping this inside of me for a very long time, a-and I'm even more sure now, after what happened to you." he spoke as i started thinking of things he could be talking about right now.

But no idea came to my head.

"I don't know how you'll react, you'll probably be really disgusted and angry, but I need to tell you. Because this guilt, i-it's killing me."

What is he even talking about?

"Yoongi, what do you--"

"Please... just let me finish." He started as I immediately got quiet, "Just.... try to let me finish before you say anything else."

I stared at him, extremely confused by where this conversation was heading.

What did he do....?

"Look, you were kidnapped, a-and i have never felt more useless as your boyfriend. It scared me to the bone, to even just think of what he could be doing with you or how you were doing generally, it broke me on the inside." He said, his words drowning out into a whisper.

I felt my heart ache, even though I was the who was kidnapped, I was sure that the people close to me were more hurt than I was. Maybe not physically but mentally, for sure.

Because as I was sitting in that cell, I knew that all the people I loved were not hurt, that they were fine and no one was going to do anything bad to them.

I knew that my family members would be okay, my group members would be okay, and that all my friends were okay as well. I already knew no one had hurt them.

But for them, they knew nothing about where I was, they had no idea what happened back there or what happened after the kidnapping. All they had were pieces of their imagination, which I don't think gave them much hope.

They didn't know if I was physically hurt or if the kidnapper was doing anything to me. They might as well have thought that i had died. It was a lot worse for them than it ever was for me.

Trying to find me, trying to stay calm, trying to make sure that I wasn't hurt and trying to get me out alive.

It was probably more hard for them than it was for me.

"I was scared... And lonely and I barely got out of the studio." Typical Min Yoongi.

But the time he spoke in a tone that gave me the chills. He spoke as if he were about to cry and breakdown from guilt and sadness. That's what got me even more curious but also scared at the same time.

I wonder what happened after I was gone. I hope he didn't do something stupid or anything like that.

"Look, I'm not asking for any type of forgiveness because I don't deserve it. At all. I'm here to tell you this before you find out some other way or something like that." He said I felt my heart pounding in my chest.

"I don't want to build our relationship from such horrid lies. Not like last time. I've learned my lesson from then."

What's he talking about...? Why would he need to apologize? What had happened? What did he do?

"Yo-you're probably confused why I'm saying all this, I mean you have to be." He said, trying to laugh off some of his nerves, "I-I don't really know how to say this, I mean who would, am I right?"

I stared at him, my gaze intense. I wasn't sure why, but the way he was talking, it made me extremely uneasy which was awfully weird and uncomfortable.

He didn't bother to look at me straight in the eyes, so my glare which was directed towards him went unnoticed, "But I still hope that someday, you can understand and forgive me. Though I'm sure I don't deserve that forgivness at all, that doesn't mean I don't want it....." Somehow the way he kept silent was more comforting than him speaking such nonesense.

The tension in the area was so high, it was always dead silent when both of us refused to talk. And somehow the silence was something I preferred over us talking, which was totally weird and new to me.

I didn't exactly know what he meant by all the words I spoke but all I do know is that I am in no mood to hear anything else. Immediately my mood went down, I felt annoyed and furious, which was random because nothing really bad had happened to make me feel either of those emotions.

My intuition was telling me to leave, to get out of here. But how could I with my body so damaged? It was frustrating and I didn't like even one second of it.

"Seungwan.... while you were gone," Shit, no, I don't want to hear this, "I....I did something which I now horribly regret, y-you don't know how much guilt I feel right now. It's killing me inside and I know this will hurt you deeply, more than it could ever hurt me, but.... I'm guessing you should know because as I said before, I don't want to built out relationship over lies anymore.... if we'll even have a relationship after this, that is." I held in my breath, I had an idea of what was going on but I didn't want to suggest it.

No way would Yoongi do that. I don't believe it, it's impossible.

"Seungwan, I-I cheated on you." He said, his head lowered and hand reaching for his pocket.

I felt cold water wash down on me, it felt like a huge, ice-y bucket of water was just thrown over me.

I felt my breathing hitch, tears falling down from my eyes. Fuck, Min Yoongi.

"Seungwan-"

"DON'T." I yelled, "Don't you dare speak." I said in a threatening voice. Yoongi looked at me worried and confused. "No Seungwan you need to listen-" He dared talking again as I reached for the flowers placed on

My bedside table and threw them at him.

It wasn't much but that's all I had.

"Hey, seungwa--"

"Don't call me by that name. You don't deserve to call me by that name." He looked frustrated and a little troubled.

"You know what Yoongi," I started, "Why don't you just forget about me." He looked at me shocked. He was about to speak again but I cut him off.

"Why don't you just forget about me, forget about us, forget about our relationship, Forget everything that ever related you to me! Just forget all of it!"

"No you nee-"

"Just! Just forget it Yoongi... just forget it." I spoke almost as if I were whispering it to myself but I could see he had heard it loud and clear, and expected it was meant for him.

"Just forget it...."

chapters that I'll write