this whole chapter is about what happened that day in march that haunts octavia.

•••

tom was in the shower, octavia in sebastain's bed with seb taking a nap. she was dreaming, her mind replaying detail after detail of that day in march. sebastain notched her shift, and her mumble in her sleep. she shook her head, her moving again. she started to sweat, her now thrashing in her sleep.

"octavia, baby wake up." sebastain said, cupping her cheeks. he caressed her cheek softly, shaking her awake. her eyes shot open, her gasping for air.

"it's just me babygirl, it's just me." sebastain said, octavia breaking down into tears. sebastain brought her into his arms, her sobbing.

"what happened?" he asked, her shaking in his arms.

"my dream... was the day in march. it replayed, every specific detail. it felt so real." sebastain sighed, that day replaying in his own mind.

octavia stormed into the house, sebastain not far behind. the 16 year old girl was furious.

"you can't keep ignoring me avi!" sebastain yelled, octavia turning around.

"try me sebastain! you can't keep telling me what to do anymore, i'm not a little girl anymore!" she yelled in his face, his baby blues now dark.

"i can when mom and dad are gone for the weekend! when they're gone i'm in charge! you can't keep lying to me when you go places! what if something happened to you and you lied to me where you were going? my fucking god octavia you're stressing me out!"

"me? stressing you out? huh, funny how that works! you're the one hound dogging me like if leave you're sight for a split second i'll vanish! if i cause you so much stress then i guess i should leave!" she yelled, tears in her eyes but she kept them at bay.

"fine then! leave! go away! my god sometimes i wonder what life would be like without having an annoying little sister!" he yelled back, his voice echoing off the walls. she gave him the nastiest glare she could make, her storming up the stairs. she slammed her bedroom door shut, her sliding down her bedroom door, sobbing.

"fine then! leave!" his words replayed in her mind, it telling her to finally do it. you said it yourself, go away. she shakily stood up, her heading towards her bathroom. she opened the drawer, grabbing a razor.

she found her vein, cutting it as hard as she could. she yelled in pain, but relaxed. she cut again, and again. over and over till she dropped the razor. her legs gave out from the pain, her falling to the floor.

sebastain heard the yell, him immediately getting up to see what it is. he tried opening her door, it being locked.

"avi? are you okay?" no answer.

"octavia!" he yelled. no answer again. he mumbled curse words, him yelling to move away from the door. he stepped back, him ramming into the door, it flying off its hinges. he walked in, to see the bathroom door cracked open. he opened it, but he yelled in horror at the sight of his baby sister on the floor. blood. everywhere.

"avi, oh my god." he fell to his knees, grabbing a washcloth and applied pressure to the biggest cut. she rested against his chest, her eyes locking with his face. he immediately whipped his phone out, dialing 911.

he looked down, her seeing him sobbing. he shook his head, him putting his phone down. he caressed her cheek, him shakily kissing her head.

"babygirl, i'm sorry. i'm sorry. i'm so sorry. i'm sorry i yelled at you. please stay with me. don't you dare close your eyes." he said, him holding back his tears. she fluttered her eyes, sebastain sobbed harder as he was slowly losing her.

"don't octavia ray! you hear me! don't leave me yet sweetheart." he yelled out, her eyes opening again. her hand moved a bit, her weakly putting it into his. he cried harder, him squeezing her hand.

"i.... love you... sebby. i'm...so...sorry..." she barely whispered, sebastain shaking his head.

"it's okay babygirl, just stay with me. i love you too. i love you so much." he applied more pressure to the biggest cut, the towel being soaked red. blood was all over his hands and clothes, him not caring. their eyes never left each other. if she were to die, the last thing she wants to see is the face of her big brother. the person who made her smile when she was sad, the one who was her shoulder to cry on. her best friend.

the police and ambulance arrived, them taking down the front door. they heard sound of sobs coming from sebastain, them running up the stairs with the stretcher. they saw the two, on the bathroom floor.

the two men helped sebastain pick octavia up and place her on the stretcher. they placed a oxygen mask on her as the other applied pressure on the biggest wound. they carried her downstairs, bringing her into the back of the ambulance. sebastain got in the ambulance, octavia's eyes closed. his eyes widened, but the heart rate monitor was beeping, her breathing. he held her hand, him calling his parents.

he then called lily, her sobbing over the phone as sebastain heard her yell at her father to drive her to the hospital. he hung up, tears racing each other down his face.

"what's her blood type?" asked the EMT, them getting close to the hospital.

"b positive. does she need blood? i'm b positive too." sebastain said, the nurse nodding.

"yes, that's perfect. once we reach the hospital we'll take blood." he nodded, them pulling in. sebastain got out first, the EMTs taking the stretcher out, them quickly pushing her into the hospital. a doctor saw, immediately walking towards them.

"cuts. lost a lot of blood, the brother here is the same blood type. needs stitches most likey." the EMT said, continuing to push octavia to the survey room where they'll give stitches. the doctor nodded, a nurse leading sebastain to another room, him trying to look at octavia for as long as he could before she was out of sight.

the nurse took his blood, him staring blankly into space as he just watched the events that just happened reply in his head. the nurse finished taking blood, the nurses telling him octavia will he in here soon. the nurse took the blood, to now give to octavia. he heard sobs from outside, sebastain standing up and looking outside. it was lily, trying to find him.

"lil." he said, bring the sixteen year old in his arms. she shook in his arms, her balling his shirt up, holding on her dear life.

"is she okay seb? please tell me she's okay." she said, her removing her head from his chest.

"she's getting stitches, and i just gave my blood. it was bad lil. so bad." sebastain said, him crying again. lily brought him into a hug, her rubbing his back as the two cried. they walked into the room, them sitting on the small couch they had. lily brought him some clothes, him telling her his were stained. he changed in the small bathroom, him brining lily close to his body as they sat on the couch.

lily slowly drifted to sleep from her crying, her cuddled into sebastain. he rubbed her back, her finally relaxed as she cried herself to sleep. he left a kiss on her head, his shirt tear stained. the door opened, octavia being brought into the room. sebastain adjusted lily as he stood up, helping the nurses put octavia into the bed. he sat on the plastic chair by her bedside, him holding her hand as she was still unconscious. she was all cleaned up, her stitches covered.

it took a couple hours, but a low groan escaped octavia's mouth, sebastain, lily, and sebastain's parents looked up. sebastain squeezed her hand, a very slight squeeze was felt back.

"she squeezed my hand." sebastain said, everyone stood up, getting closer to octavia.

"doll, it's seb." he said, kissing her head. another low moan was heard, her moving slightly. he used his free hand to caress her cheek. her eyes fluttered, then they opened slowly, her squinting. the first thing she saw was light. then she focused, her eyes on a puffy eyed sebastain.

"i'm sorry sebby." she croaked, a loud sob escaping their mothers lips. she turned her head slightly, their parents crying.

"mommy... papa... i'm okay." she barley got out, them peppering their daughters face with kisses. lily came to the bedside, tears flying down her face.

"oh my god octavia." lily said, her head resting on octavia's. lily sobbed, her kissing octavia on the head.

"i'm okay lily." she got out, her voice coming back. sebastain cupped her face, his forehead resting against hers. their eyes closed simultaneously, them staying there for a while, sebastain kissing her nose softly.

"babygirl, i'm sorry. this is my fault. i'm so sorry. please forgive me." he whispered, her nose bumping his.

"it's not your fault. don't be sorry. i'm okay now sebby. i love you." she said, sebastain's tears landing on her face. he wiped his eyes, then the tears that landed on octavia.

"don't leave again. i cant lose you doll."

"i cant lose you either seb."

he snapped out of his daze, him holding octavia close.

"i'm sorry. that day was my fault." he whispered, octavia's head buried into his chest.

"no it's not. i was suicidal in the first place. it was my fault for keeping it from you." she stopped speaking, her letting out a breathy laugh. sebastain looked at her confused.

"my life turned to shit right after that. mom and dad sent me to a fucking mental hospital. i couldn't see you for a month and half. i needed you so much." sebastain gave a small smile.

"i was put on three different medication after i was sent home. all the events leading up to that day was not your fault. do not blame yourself sebastain. i'm telling you. that day is not your fault, you hear me?" she told him, him nodding. a tear fell down his cheek, octavia wiping it away. sebastain's finger grazed the scar on her vein, him kissing it.

"i'm here now, aren't i? i'm okay now seb. i've been okay and good for the last 2 years. i'm alright now seb. i'm okay."