"I love you" I said softly letting the words slip from my mouth.

I meant it to, she was everything I wanted and more. I loved everything about her even after all this time, she's the one I want and I hated how I felt without her.

Her eyes seemed to widen at my words making me doubt what I had just confessed, "You, you don't have to say anything yet." I added not wanting her to say it out of pity.

"Your orders." The same waiter said as he placed our food in front of us.

"Thank you." she said seeming to break out of her shock.

"Your welcome." I watched as the desperate guy bit his lip while looking at Octavia.

It took everything in me to not punch him in his face.

Just then she turned to look at him, "I'm not interested and I would like it if you would stop looking at me as if I was your next meal." she rolled her eyes while talking with that sarcastic attitude I love so damn much.

"Oh I um sorry ma'am." The waiter seemed to stutter clearly embarrassed, then he walked away.

To my surprise Octavia started eating as if nothing happened. I was more than hurt that she didn't say it back. Something told me she did love me she was just scared. Unless that was just me trying to lessen the insecurities that now formed in my head.

What if she really didn't love me?

Nevertheless we went on and talked just like we used to. We talked about how she's been and how I've been. I've missed hearing her voice and seeing her smile. It was so pure to me. I loved that she spoke to me with so much excitement, as if she was glad to be filling me in on everything I missed from her life.

"Jake and Maya also got together which is so amazing I'm happy for Jake and then Jeremy finally moved out but, I got his room and it's so much bigger than my old one!" she ranted with the brightest smile.

I couldn't help but, wonder; if she didn't love me why would she tell me all of this?

"Breathe, love." I said softly with a small chuckle as her cheeks flushed, "That seems amazing." I added genuinely.

"What about you?" she asked curiously.

"Well I've been really focused on work and the...you know." I said hoping she'd know I was talking about the gang.

I didn't want to exactly tell her about how I've mostly been drinking since she's been gone.

"Is that all?" she asked again with curiosity.

"Yeah I haven't been out much since the last time I seen you." I spoke truthfully, "The other day I seen you though I was happy I went out." I smiled when I said this.

I seen a smile form on her face as well but, it seemed to falter, "Whats wrong love?" I asked concerned.

It was quiet before she answered, "Who was that girl you were with that day?" she asked softly and curiously.

Damn, I was hoping she wouldn't question that. I reached over grabbing her hands in mine.

"No one." I reassured her but, it didn't help as she seemed to look down, "Her name is Stella she's Carters sister he asked me to take her out since she wasn't feeling well it was just a friendly time, in fact she wished me luck in getting you back." I finished with a smile and gave her hands a gentle squeeze.

"Really?" she asked raising her eyebrows and I nodded, "She seems like a great girl then." she replied trying to hide her smile.

I only grinned, leaning over the table, I put my fingers under her chin tilting it up before planting a firm kiss to her lips. I felt her instantly react as her hand made its way to the back of my neck pulling me closer. This action only made me kiss her deeper.

I was really in love with her.

•••

"I'm really glad I got to see you again Ryder." she said softly.

"I'm glad I got to see you to my love." I said back as my hands instinctively went up to cup her face.

Octavia had me park around the corner from her house, it was risky. Yet we both still didn't care. I felt her lean into my hand making me smile. This was what I missed.

Suddenly someone knocked on the window of the car. I couldn't see them since they were standing, only showing there stomach. Octavia instantly turned away from me to look. The figure then leant down, it was Brian, how bad was our luck?

It all happened so fast, she was out of the car and he was yelling.

"What do you think your doing Octavia Hill?!" her dad shouted causing her to flinch.

This made me run around to stand by her side protectively.

"What does it look like I'm doing." she shouted back.

Brian then turned to glare at me, "And you what do you think your doing!" he shouted again harshly, this only made me mad.

I wasn't a kid, Octavia wasn't either.

"Dad you can't control who I see." Octavia said while staring at her father, pleadingly.

"Yes I can, when it ensures your safety!" he replied.

"I don't care that he's the leader of some gang dad!" she yelled with passion, she really wasn't backing down.

I also couldn't stand seeing her so stressed until her eyes locked with mine and for a split second, everything was okay. It felt like something clicked with her but, I wasn't sure what, she seemed more determined.

"I'll deal with you later." Brian told her harshly then turned to me again, "Didn't I make myself clear when I said, this." he pointed between Octavia and I, "Was done." he finished angrily.

Before I could answer Octavia said something that made my heart just want to explode.

"Dad that's enough...I love Ryder." she said with so much emotion, I could just kiss her but, it wasn't the right circumstances.

After she said this her eyes locked with mine, "I'm sorry I didn't say it back earlier I was scared and I-" she started to explain in a panic.

"No, no it's okay love shh." I grabbed her hand to calm her and she stared in my eyes as she seemed to relax at my touch.

I watched her take a second before looking at her dad who seemed to be in shock almost. Hell I was too, Octavia loves me back.

"I do love him dad I don't know when your going to except that so until then I'm going to stay with Ryder, if that's okay." she looked up at me and I nodded almost instantly.

It would be amazing to wake up next to her and make up for all the lost time with her.

"I'm twenty now I can do what I want and this." she gestured towards our entangled hands, "this is what I want, I want to be happy." she said shrugging as tears fell from her eyes when she said the last words.

When she said twenty I almost forgot, we weren't talking when her birthday past. It broke me to see her cry, my heart ached and I just wanted to wrap my arms around her. Although apart of me was happy she finally stood up to her dad, I knew it hurt her too.

"Bye dad." she said quickly turning around as she wiped her tears and got in the car.

I wasted no time to get in the drivers side, I noticed how her dad was in some sort of shock. As I drove off I grabbed her hand in mine, caressing it. I brought her hand to my lips and kissed the back of it. This made her look at me with a faint smile, as I smiled back.

Octavia Hill was finally all mine.

———-

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