dele rose to his feet when he watched sofia open the door to the cafe. both of them were extremely nervous- not that they were showing it.

"hey..."

"hi." sofia replied weakly.

they sat in a booth in the corner of the cafe, away from prying eyes, staring into each others eyes.

"so... what did you um, want to talk to me about?"

"us." sofia's eyes widened at the word. "i-i didn't mean it in that way. but like 'us' as in, the arguments you know?"

"uh yeah, what about them?"

"well i figured, we never actually spoke about them. face to face. i never gave you a chance to explain yourself and you never got a chance to listen to how i felt about all of it. i don't want any more arguments but i want to hear your side of the story. this whole situation is just stressing me out and i need closure from it."

"i understand." he sighed. "you might want to sit tight. my story is a bit... odd." sofia's eyebrow rose at the response but she nodded to acknowledge she was listening and to let him know to continue.

"i don't love ruby." he looked down. "not like that anyway. i haven't for a very long time but we've been together for so long and we were so close that at first i was afraid. i didn't want to lose her- she was one of my best friends you know.

that's why i never told you about her the first time. which for the record i know was extremely wrong because i hurt both of you. i just felt something, like a connection with you and i wanted to explore that but like i said, i was afraid of hurting her and i was stupid i know. if i could do it again, i would have told ruby when i first started talking to you and i would have ended it then and there.

i know it took me a while to end it with her, and i know i got defensive when you called me out about it. it's just that, i like to think i'm this great guy who has the upmost respect for women and i do... but recently i haven't exercised that respect. i was defensive because i knew that you were right and that i was in the wrong but i didn't want to admit that so i was harsh to you- i lied and i told you i was your friend and that i felt pity for you. and it was a lie.

being away from you, having you unfollow me on social media and delete my number, acting like i don't exist hurt me. and it was my fault obviously like i hurt you first and i don't blame you but it made me realise that i didn't want to go a day without talking to you... i missed you, a lot. so i worked up the courage to end it with ruby. i told her the truth, that i love her but the feelings aren't there and they haven't been for a while and instead... they were there for someone else. i didn't give her your name or anything, i didn't want her to bother you.

and then it was good you know, between us. we were talking again, you were coming to watch me play. i wasn't expecting ruby to be there. and i didn't want you to find out like that and it hurt me to see how hurt you were and although understandable, it hurt me that you didn't let me explain it to you. instead, i had your friend hurl abuse at both me and ruby and i mean i don't blame her, she's your best friend and i know you would do the same and i would do the same for dier you know but it hurt and i did feel that she was a bit out of order.

so here's the tricky bit... i did get back with ruby. only a day before the game. i know, i should have told you especially because i knew you were coming to the game but i didn't think. and i know i just told you all about my feelings for you and how i feel nothing romantic towards ruby which, is true. however, like i stated she is one of my best friends. she helped me a lot and i feel a lot of gratitude towards her- i owe her. so, when she came to me for comfort after an important family member of hers had passed, i couldn't send her away alone and full of grief. she told me about how much she misses me and desperately wants to get back with me and how she can't get through it without me and i just felt like i owed it to her to be there for her, even if that meant going against my own feelings.

so yeah, i got back with her that night. i couldn't let her be by herself and i KNOW i should have told you and i know it's an extremely dodgy situation but i don't know what to do sofia. she's been through so much i don't think i can put her through anything else by ending it with her again... she was so torn up the first time how can i do that to her again? i know i messed up bad but i do care about you... so much. i tried to push you away by acting the way i did but, seeing harry winks comment on your photo after he mentioned you to me and after i heard him multiple times talking about the 'things he wanted to do to you' i couldn't take it. my blood boiled and all i could feel was pure jealousy. i don't know how i'm going to sort this out but i want to make things work with you. i genuinely cannot stand you hating me any longer and i cannot stand not talking to you every single day. i'm not sure how it's going to work but please... can we just try?"

"wow." sofia let out a long breath. she was speechless. "that's uh- quite a story. i get that you feel you owe her but i don't think it's right del. the longer you stay with her the more it's going to hurt her, because the more she'll fall for you. i want to make things work with you, i do... so badly. but i can't. not whilst you're still with ruby. i'm sorry but i can't go through this situation again."

"again?"

"my ex. he was um... married."

"married huh." he replied, shocked.

"i didn't know! not at first anyway. when i finally found out he came clean- his situation was... kind of similar to yours and in the end he told her about us too. she was 'fine' with it i guess, she just wanted to be with him and so did i. he told me he loved me and that i was his 'soulmate', how one day we'll be together properly but when it came down to things, he always chose her. it took me so long to get out of that situation and i was so young. i can't put myself through that again."

"sofia i'm sorry. that situation is awful but i would NEVER put you second like that- you will always come first."

"del... you already have." she sighed.