"I think me and Moussa are in a relationship."

These words were echoing inside my head.

They wouldn't leave, no matter what I tried. Taking a cold shower, practicing free-kicks with Harry, drinking some with McGee and Kyle, not even joking around with Sonny, which always made me happy, worked.

We talked about love. In that Interview. That revenge-interview.

I had told him, that I wasn't in love, but I told a lie. I was sooo in love. At least I thought so.

I've never felt that way about anyone so far. I couldn't tell anyone. Everyone would be disgusted of sharing one changing room with me. And Eric? He would hate me. He would turn away from me, Hugo would too, he's the kindest, but he would be too disgusted if he knew. Kyle and Jan would joke about me.

Even the fans.

I mean, I'm a star to them, but someone like me, their childrens star? The parents would freak out.

I bet the Spurs-managers would want to get rid of me.

I sighed and cureld up on my bed. Eric and me shared a bedroom with Kyle. Nobody wanted to share one with us because we were too annoying. Kinda understandable...

The door opened. I pretended to be thinking oft some very important strategies. Phew, it was only Kyle, who asked if I wanted to come down, to eat with the guys, but I thanked him and said:

"Nah, mate. I'm not hungry, I'm really tired. I need to prepare myself for the match against Stoke following Tuesday."

Kyle wished me luck and slammed the door... as always.

Kyle was a really good defender, but he was very loud and passionate, so the refrees often had a lot of work with him... so did Harry.

He always had to break up the fights on the pitch.

We would need to thank him for preventing us from receiving a lot of red cards.

I chuckled slightly.

Harry.

I don't think I could tell him my secret. I like him a lot and he's super kind, he's one of my best friends, but I'm too scared of his reaction.

And Christian?

I think... He's calm, trustable, a talented footballer and stuff...

But...

Always that but.

I was too afraid of not being accepted.

I wanted to cry.

Like, really.

But I couldn't.

The boys would ask why, and lies always lead to more lies.

I decided to listen to music, to bring me to better thoughts... You could say it worked...

But it didn't solve my problems.

No, when Kyle and Eric came into the room, as I was lying on my bed Eric look at me in a weird way.

"Dele? Where were you?

Nacer said you had a girlfriend now. Where does she hide?

You can come out now!

What's her name?"

I bit my lip when Eric said these words.

"There's no one. Thanks for reminding me."

I tried to fight the tears, but my voice cracked, a tear rushed down my cheek.

"I- I...I need to go..." I rushed out of the room, slammed the door and ran outside.

On my way Benjamin saw me, but I didn't care. Nabil looked at me.

Confused.

"Same, Nabil", I thought.

I ran across the lawn and sat against the pollar. The single tear had quickly become a flowing river.

"Fuck.", I muttered. "I can't go back and see him. Not now."

I was breathing heavily, as if I had sprinted across a whole pitch...

Fucking feelings.

Why?

Everyone falls in love with a girl. And I? My brain decided to fall in love with its best friend.

Thanks.

I punched my head. I slammed it against the pole. Four- five times.

"Stupid feelings."

I was sobbings so loudly, I was afraid of waking up my Team mates.

I sat there one hour certainly. Then I stood up, and went for a walk around the lawn and hated myself.

I really didn't want to go back, with red eyes, still sobbing, seeing Eric. He would laugh, call me a cry baby and Kyle? He would laugh along.

I froze. It was one o' clock a.m.

"Dele? Dele!", shouted a familiar voice from behind my back.

"Leave it Toby. Please, if the others are searching for me, then please, I beg you, tell them to go back to bed. I don't want to talk to anybody right now."

I looked at him with pleading eyes."

Toby hugged me.

"If there's anything you want to tell me, then I'm there for you. I will tell the others, they should stop searching. You gave us so much panic!", he explained in his cute belgium accent.