But in fact I wanted to vomit.

My fake girlfriend was supposed to flirt with me, even if I didn't quite like her that way...

"Mademoiselle!", a calm, deep voice said.

"Hey! Hugo!", I cheered.

"Nice to see you! May I introduce you to Ruby?"

Hugo made big eyes.

"Ruby? C'est qui? The pretty Mademoiselle behind you?"

I nodded.

"Yep. She's mine."

Hugo shook her hand exitedly. "Is she your... girlfriend?"

She smiled. "I'm glad I can define myself as his."

I rolled my eyes.

Sure, Ruby was friendly, and I maybe could like her as a friend, but in that case, I couldn't but be annoyed of her.

I wanted to spend time with Eric.

I only showed her around, because I wanted to make it obvious that I was straight.

I could do the gayest thingst I wanted, since I was able to say: "I'm not gay. I have a girlfriend."

I quickly kissed her on the cheek, to make it even more obvious.

"Eww. No sex in our room!", Nabil yelled in disgust.

"Out! Go!", he laughed as he shoved us outside.

Ruby laughed loudly. "Your friends are funny!"

I nodded. I didn't care what she said, I didn't want her to be friends with mine.

"Ryan, Erik and Toby. They're quite calm."

As I said that I heard someone yell: "You stupid fucker! I pressed X! Why can't that fucking bullshit work?!" I sighed. "They seem to have a visitor."

I opened the door.

"McGee!"

"Dele!" He paused the Fifa game.

Erik turned his head.

"Oh, Dele! Hello my friend!", he smiled at me.

Ryan smiled lightly.

"See, Dele, about your grandma... Wait. Who is that? That girl?"

Luke freaked out.

"Who is this? Is it who I think it is? No shit, bro? Is that..."

I rolled my eyes.

"Lukey, calm down. This is just my sister."

"Your sister is hot." At first my jaw dropped, but then I smirked.

"Jokes on you! She's my girlfriend!"

We high-fived each other.

"Your girlfriend is really hot. Luke's right. Great catch, Dele."

I was shocked.

"Toby! You're married! I've never heard you saying things like that."

He acted like he was being threatened.

Help! My wife is stabbing me! I didn't say she was pretty! I... I was talking about you! I swear. Argh!"

Ruby giggled.

"You boys are so nice and charming, it's an honour to be with you. And you, you are especially funny."

Erik looked at her.

"Execute me?"

She looked like she had a questionmark above her head.

"What? Why?"

Luke and I bursted out in laughter.

"Isn't roasting you enough?" He blushed.

"I meant to say excuse me..."

"We will execute you later, Lamela. We have a lot of people who are about to meet my gf. Bye, guys. And McGee? Keep it down, mate."

Luke hissed: "Fuck you. Love you, too."

I quickly left the room.

After that he yelled: "Idiot!".

Ruby grabbed my hand.

"Your friends are so funny! I like them."

I looked at her. I know, that if I was straight I would probably like her better.

She was decent, pretty and got along well with everyone.

Sometimes she could be really annoying, but that only was a tiny flaw.

I felt so bad for using her, but I really didn't see any other solutions.

"These guys are called: Danny, Josh and Victor.... But you can just call them the 'Blackies'. Do it. Go and say: 'Hi Blackies!'. Everyone does. It's known as a really friendly move."

Ruby nodded. "Okay. I want them to like me." She stepped in and greeted them cheerfully: "Hi, Blackies."

"Fuck you", Josh yelled back.

However, then, Danny jumped up high.

"Hell no. Fuck me."

I chuckled.

"Dan, you creep. Leave my girl alone!"

Victor woke up. He always liked to go to bed early.

"Huh? What's happening? What's that noise? Ah! A girl? Hello, girl. Who are you searching for?", he asked in confusion.

Ruby giggled.

Again.

All the time.

She didn't seem to be too intelligent...

"You are funny. I like you!" at least she was always happy.

Victor stood up and shook her hand. "Hello. My name is Victor and I'm sorry that I look the way I do. I was aspleep when you came in."

Ruby shook her head.

"No problem. I was rude for waking you up! But how were you able to sleep with all that noise?"

He scratched his head.

"I don't know either..."

They both laughed.

Josh frowned.

"Not funny, though."