So uhh... hey guys lol. It's been a while. Basically - life has been hectic. Loads a stuff going on. I recently moved to university so I've literally not caught a break but I decided to check Wattpad and geez this has blown up so I guess I should probably update this right? Anyways here ya go!

- A x

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I thought it was a normal day when I woke up today. I still felt heavy, but that was normal. Nothing has really been the same since. By normal - I mean the days I am used to now. My daily life after what happened.

I got out of bed and washed myself down quickly. I braided my hair and slipped on my maids uniform. I opened my book and sat on my bed, checking my duties. 

1. Queen Frigga

I had a wash of relief. The Queen is the highest position I tend to. I don't work for the Allfather. Frigga and I grew close over the death of Loki. She became a sort of mother figure to me, giving me advice whenever I tended to her. She would always support me when I broke down. I enjoyed spending time with her.

I slipped my shoes on and left my quarters, heading up to her towers. The sun was shining this morning. I walked past the huge open windows, the golden rays bouncing off of the golden walls. I actually felt a little bit happy for the first time in a while. I picked up an apple on passing and ate it as I headed up.

I knocked on Friggas door, hearing a faint "come in". I pushed open the heavy oak, and the sunlight disappeared. The curtains were drawn. It was dark in the room. However, Frigga was awake. She sat at her table, fully dressed, bed made. I was confused.

"Your highness? Is everything ok?"

"My dear. Forgive me, I am struggling to let the beautiful sunlight into my life today." She smiled weakly. I furrowed my brows.

"Ma'am, is there anything I can help with?"

"Yes. Sit down." 

I walked over and sat down, confused. She took my hand and held it tightly.

"It's been a year, my love." 

My stomach tightened. All at once, I got flashbacks to the day.

"Get some sleep."

"Wait-"

"We're gonna go up and speak to Frigga. Something uh... happened... last night."

"He's dead. Come on."

I gulped. I felt the lump return to my throat, the pressure build up in my chest. It felt like the desperate rays trying to burn through the curtain disappeared. Nothing was good again. My eyes began to tear up and cloud. Frigga gently caressed my cheek.

"You know something?" She said gently. "When they brought you up to me, you looked devastated. You really lost someone important to you. That was the first time I met you dear. And although the circumstance I am very happy I did meet you. I could tell you two had a genuine connection."

I burst. I began to sob into my hands. The darkness was taking over. Frigga called up the head maid, who sounded surprised to be summoned by the queen. She stepped in and respectfully bowed, then scowled at me.

"Erica." Frigga nodded at the head maid. "Can you please take (y/n) back to her quarters. She will not work today."

She nodded and walked over, placing her hand on my back. I stood up and nodded at Frigga on my way out.

I spent the rest of my day in bed, crying. People came to visit, but I didn't want to speak to anyone. It felt like I was back at square one.

---

The next morning I returned to work. I was assigned to Thor, which is just what I needed. I still had the scar down my jawline and neck from him. I didn't have a Loki to look after me anymore. I did my usual routine and headed up to Thor's quarters. After what happened with Loki, Thor had changed. I was still terrified of him though.

I knocked on his door, hearing a grunt. I walked in and he was sitting on his bed, looking out onto his balcony.

"(y/n)." He greeted.

"Your highness." I replied. How did he know it was me?

"I asked for you to come up this morning."

"Why?"

"I heard you didn't work yesterday."

"How did you-"

"Hate to break it to you, but maids gossip. I know that the death of my brother hit you hard." I looked at my feet. "I am sorry, (y/n). We all loved him. We all miss him." I felt a surge of anger shoot through me.

"He didn't feel loved." There was a long paused. Thor looked around at me, a slight glare across his face.

"Excuse me?" I gulped.

"He was alone. Always looking for support from his brother. Always looking up to you when you treated him like shit." I don't know what was coming over me, I just couldn't hold my tongue anymore. I couldn't really care less what Thor does to me at this point. He stood up and faced me.

"You don't know what you're talking about. You're just a maid. You only knew him a few months."

"I knew you both from a young age. I have lived here practically my whole life. Loki fell in love with me when he was young. We locked eyes and that was it." I could feel the tears again. Thor scoffed.

"Fairytales. He probably told you that just to lead you on."

"No it was the truth. Not that you would know because you never paid attention to him." Thor took a few steps towards me.

"I will hear no more of this."

"Because you don't want to. Because you know it's true. You cannot escape guilt forever." I cried. This time, Thor walked full speed over to me across the marble floors. I thought he was going to hit me but he just pushed me against the wall.

"I am not the man I used to be anymore. I changed; but no matter what I loved my brother."

"Love... is a strong word." I choked through my tears. He punched the wall next to me.

"You would not know love if it tapped you on the shoulder." He growled.

"I loved Loki." I whispered, crumbling to the floor. Thor pushed himself off the wall and sat back down on the bed, burying his face into his hands. The only thing breaking the silence was my quiet sobs.

After a while, Thor spoke again.

"You can leave."

And I did. I didn't want to ever come back.