I'm okay.

Even though I said I wanted to get revenge I didn't know what I was going to do, or how I was even going to do it. What I do know though is that I'm done crying over that damn fool, my mom always told me that It was okay to cry, it was okay to cry and let everything all out, but once you stop crying! That's it, you're done crying. And that was exactly me, it's been 5 days since finding out about everything and I haven't cried once since that night. Although Rikki and Max still check in on me constantly, it's like they take turn on Malaysia watch.

As for Ava and the twins go, I haven't really talked to them much at all, not because I'm mad at them but... I just have nothing to say anymore. Preston is the one out of them all who keeps trying to get a hold of me the most he tries to always make plans but I always make up some kind of excuse, because I'm just not ready to leave the house yet.

I've been crept up in my room, studying design. I know I once said before I wanted to be a model, but here lately I've been focusing more on opening my own clothing line. It could be the "I just got cheated on by my popstar boyfriend and I don't know what to do with my life" talking.. But as of right now, I really love it and could see myself one day making a career of, hoping that someday it would take me far.

"Knock knock," Rikki said, while walking into my room. "You've have a visitor at the front door." I squinted my eyes and looked at her strange, "Who? Is it Ava? Tell her to home." She chuckled shaking her head, "no it's not Ava." I signed, nodding as I got up to go downstairs. I had leggings on with a sweatshirt, I said I was okay not that I looked sexy.

"Preston?" I questioned, I guess leaving him on read wasn't giving him the hint that I didn't want to talk. "Hey," he smiled shyly.

"Why are you here?" I bluntly asked. He nodded slowly, "can you please come out here? I need to talk to you." I hesitated for a moment, before I gave in and walked out onto my front porch closing the front door behind me.

"So why are you here?" I asked again. He shrugged, "to see you?"

"I didn't want to see anyone."

"Mal you can't keep doing this." He mumbled, and I shook my head in disbelief, "Can't keep doing what? Can't keep being upset that I was getting cheated for over a month? and all my fücking bestfriends knew about it and didn't care to tell me?" I spat, "I'm so sorry that my sadness is a bother to you all." I said , "oh how will you guys ever forgive me?"

He looked down, "I didn't mean it like that Malaysia and you know it." I rolled my eyes, "oh yeah? well than how did you mean it than Pres?" I whimpered, "you knew and didn't tell me!" He stayed quiet.

"How could you not tell me? Did you not care?" I asked. He shook his head quickly, "Mal I had found out maybe a week before you found out, I promise you I care about you. I care about you way more than you think."

I sighed, nodding, "I'm sorry." He widened his eyes, "sorry?" He asked. I nodded, "I should haven't snapped on you like that, I'm just so—"

"Hurt?" He cut me off, "I get that, it's okay." I stayed quiet as he continued on, "I am sorry though, sorry for not telling you, it was wrong for me not tell you as soon as I found out." He walked a little closer to me, "I know you feel alone, and upset but Mal you're not alone, I will always be here for you."

I nodded, "I'm sorry.." He shook his head, "Stop apologizing, you didn't do anything wrong. You're hurt so you react differently, that's normal. Just know I'm always here for you, whenever you need me."

The next thing we knew a reckless car came zooming down my street blasting music, Preston and I looked only to see Cindy and Nick. I glared at her and shook my head. Is she trying to rub it in my face that she was with my man the whole time? Is she trying to get äss beat? Because that can be arranged.

"If it makes you feel any better I personally think she's ugly as fück." Preston spoke causing me to chuckle, "it actually does, thank you." He grinned, nodding, "my pleasure, never doubt your beauty."

"You know what—

"Mal you phone won't stop blowing up!" Rikki swung up the front door. I knew it had to be Justin, he hasn't stopped texting me.

"I'll be in a second."

"Back to what I was saying," I giggled turning towards Preston, "thank you for stopping by. It meant a lot," I smiled brightly, for once I actually felt like myself again.

"I'm happy I could help," he responded. There was a moment of silence, "well I better get back home, before David does some dumb shït again."

"Before you go!" I said quickly, "how's Ava?" I asked quietly, he just smirked, "I don't know you tell me..." He turned towards his car and gave it the come here motion and out came Ava. I thought I was about to cry.

We both run to eachother until our bodies slammed together and we were then squeezing one another so tight in a hug. "I'm so sorry Mal, I'm so so sorry," she pulled away in tears. I nodded wiping them away from her face, "it's okay." I cooed.

"No it's not okay," she cried, "I should have told you. I just—I didn't know what to do! Nick told me so quickly, and I didn't even know if I should believe him at first! I'm so sorry." She spoke really fast, "I'm sorry." She kept repeating herself over and over, "I'm so sorry."

"Ava it's okay, really. I forgive you." I rubbed her arm, "now stop crying before you make me cry." She chuckled, breathing out, "alright, I think I'm good."

"Hope you two have fun." Preston yelled out before driving away.

"So what are we going to do now?" Ava asked me, I smirked nodding "I think I finally have an idea."

*************************************

I'm so sorry.

i know it was wrong, but I never meant to hurt you.

I was going to tell you, I swear I was

Malaysia please....

I love you.