sitting inside of the living room, i watched my front door, biting at my inner cheek with anxiety and disbelief. my parents weren't home, they were both at a dinner for their high school class, so my house was left alone. it wasn't unusual for me to be alone since my parents both had serious jobs and wouldn't come home until late hours anyway, but it was a weekend and they usually had it so someone would be home with me.

i've been dating this amazing and handsome guy, matt for a couple months now, and he's finally going to introduce me to his friends. it was an honor to know that i could be shown off, that i could be introduced as someone's girlfriend. he said he met them online and they have an outrageous sense of humor.

as the knock emitted from my door, my hands fixed my jean skirt, making sure i looked okay. there he stood, that handsome 17 year old boy. "hey, matt." i beamed, feeling the heat begin to rise in my cheeks as he pulled me in for a hug.

i invited them inside, watching as two other males follow behind him. one was very tall and had blond hair that stuck up in the front, along with his little calic that was in the back. he wore a black hoodie with blue jeans, black nike's to match. "aye," he waved. the other was a little on the short side with a deep brown hair color and blue eyes to match the other boys'. his clothing consisting of a black v-neck with black jeans. where are his shoes?

"alright, boys, this is my girl, audrey." matt swung his arm around my shoulder as we all stood around in my kitchen. "audrey, the skyscraper's name is cameron, or we might call him fitz." i waved to him and nodded my head. "this little guy is, mason."

"how old are you?" i questioned them both, watching as they all exchanged looks.

"i'm thirteen." mason chuckled, walking into my kitchen and taking a bag of spicy chips i was laying out to eat. matt nodded his head and rubbed the back of his neck.

"sixteen." fitz mumbled softly as he focused on mason stealing my food. "how old are you? you look really young." my breathing hitched and my heart rate sped up.

"i-i'm fourteen." i knew that at the time it was scandalous being with someone who was three years older than you, but i really adored matt, i felt like it was meant to be.

"i know it's-"

"shh, babe it's okay. i just turned 17 so we have nothing to worry about." matt was right, as long as i turned 15 this year, our relationship could be somewhat legal when he turned 18 next year. it's all a bit confusing, but it'll make sense. that's what he said at least. "anyway, let's do some shit." he cursed, causing me to freeze up.

"i'll go get the aux cord and speaker." i murmured, running up my stairs to grab the speakers. why were all of his friends so cute, and why did he have to bring them over to my house? as i entered the lower floor, i watched as they all sat down. "so, matt was telling me you guys are from australia?"

"yeah." they answered in unison.

"how'd your parents let you come down here? no offense, but my parents would never let me." they all chuckled, making my face turn a deep shade of red.

"mason and i are very convincing." it was a lie. i've been studying body language lately and knew he was lying. but instead of prying, i allowed him to think he fooled me. "so, matt," fitz commented. "what are we doing?"

"truth or dare? or truth or truth?" mason giggled like a little girl. we all scoffed and rolled our eyes, including me. "i'll take that as a truth or truth."

"fine." we all complied.

"audrey, truth or truth?" mason leaned forward with an evil expression on his pallid face. what type of question was that? i could only answer one!?

"truth?"

"do you wanna have sex with matt?" oh my god. fitz elbowed mason and shook his head as matt sniffed and looked away.

"i'm pretty sure it's illegal right now. but maybe eventually." they all snickered at my response, but matt budged in and scolded them. "okay, cameron, truth or truth?"

"truth."

"got a girlfriend?" i had no idea what to ask, but at the moment i didn't realize how it wasn't my place to be asking. mason shook his head violently as matt face palmed.

"no. gonna be real with you, i'm not the ideal person people want to be with. people don't like me, hence why i'm bullied at school." who could possibly bully him? he seems so sweet, yet so harsh. he was a confusing person.

"oh." i sighed, feeling my soul begin to tarnish from embarrassment.

"matt, truth or truth?" cam inquired, crossing his arms and rubbing his chin with his top hand. mason groaned and threw his hands up.

"nobody is gonna ask meee!" he whined.

"shut up, cunt." matt hissed, pretending to be irritated.

"cunt?" my voice came out as barely a whisper, what did cunt mean? from the way he used it, it sounded like an insulting name. their eyes widened, staring at me with worry. "what's a cunt?" matt sighed and kissed my cheek.

"it's your-" mason began to shout out but was quickly muffled by a hand clasping over his loud mouth.

"what is it?" i pressed further, feeling the air become more sense. "i'm serious."

"pussy." mason chimes in, his face filled from ear to ear with a smirk. cam slapped him again, what an abusive relationship.

"why is it an insult than? who goes up to someone and just calls them that?" they all began to laugh at me, covering their mouths in the process. i didn't understand.

i look back now and realize how clueless i was, how clueless i still am. jesus, i don't know how the boys handle me and my rhetorical questions. they must pretend like they don't notice sometimes and laugh at me. just like they use to.

man, style back then was so fucked. jean skirts and random tees? what was i thinking!? like i said, middle school was a period in my life where i didn't even know what i was doing.

"audrey," mason called, grabbing my attention from my slow walk on the beach. "let's head back." the sun was just starting to set. i had really spent my whole day here, sulking and remembering my past. "damn, that's a gorgeous fucking view!" he screeched and sat beside me.

i kneeled down and gazed over to him, watching as his eyes bore into the pink and orange sunset. "can you believe i met you when you were thirteen?" he turned to me, a disgusted look on his face.

"no. i can't believe you were... how old were you? seventeen?" shaking my head, i roll onto my stomach and rest my head on my hands.

"no, i was fourteen."

"oh, matty was with a minor!" his voice was louder than expected. "oh boy, those days were ALL fucked. there's like this weird feeling that only comes around when i think of those days. i don't even know how to explain it though."

"i get what you mean, it's like... you know when you get a whiff of a certain smell and it just takes you back to a place in your life that was superior to any other time." he nodded, matching my current position.

"so, you and cam, huh?"

"what about it?"

"beside all of the arguing, you guys totally have something going on! it must be sexual." of course he thinks it's sexual. everything with him was sexual. even his dad.

"no, no. i don't think it's like that." i gulped down my saliva that was building up. "i think it's just... we care so deeply for each other but we both don't want to. like it's almost painful to be in love."

"to be in love?" mason squealed, kicked his feet behind himself like a high school girl who was getting good tea.

feeling my nails begin to dig into my knees, my mind became fuzzy, filled with tv static.

"yeah... to be in love."