because the officer was obviously having trouble with the kids who were running around in the bushes, cameron, and me, he called back up and took all of us into custody. "this is such bullshit." my voice was barely a whisper as i try to move my hands around. i wanted to get out of this dumb cop car. they had paired me up with two of the other boys and separated me away from my boyfriend.

"damn right." the darker haired boy commented. it was crazy how the officer thinks we pulled this all together and how he never even gave us a chance to speak. "damn," he shook his head and leaned it on the seat in front of him. "we are so going to jail." WE? no way brother.

"dude, you have three felons, of course you're going to fucking jail," i roll my eyes and keep my eyes out the barred window. "i shouldn't even be in this car."

"you're the one who got us caught." the blond scoffs. "if you hadn't of sped, we wouldn't even be here." okay, okay, hold the hell up. this whole thing is NOT my entire fault.

"are you on crack? correct me if i'm wrong, but you were trespassing in a building that was obviously closed off, and you totally didn't sprint in front of an active police car?" the brunette shook his head again and turned to his friend.

"she's right. we were being dumb, sam." who i'm guessing is sam put his hands over his face and breathed out profanities. he had every right to and i didn't even blame him. "i mean, we should have realized-"

"drop it! putting the blame on each other doesn't help any of us. we all just need to be quiet." sam was obviously worried and scared for himself that he couldn't handle everyone arguing.

"i'm sorry," i mumbled out. they both turned to me and either sighed or hummed. i shouldn't have been driving over the limit, i shouldn't have leaned into the window of my car, i shouldn't have been out in the open road with cameron like this. for some odd reason i feel like i'm going to jail.

-

"audrey, cameron, sam, colby, corey, and elton, please step forward." this was all to formal and certainly not normal.

everything went silent for me as i zoned out, completely forgetting about everything around me. "colby brock, charged with trespassing on private property, and having two fake id's." my eyes fling up to meet his as he stepped forward. there was no way i could explain this whole ordeal, it just seemed so surreal.

after the other four boys left, me and cameron were left waiting. "we are aware that the two of you were driving along the same road, we are under the impression you were helping with the search of the asylum the others were going to as well?" another officer questioned.

"no, ma'am." the woman nods. "me and my boyfriend, cameron, were driving to pick up mcdonald's for a couple friends. yes, we were driving over the limit, i do admit to that, and yes, i didn't have my license on me. i just happened to leave it at our house."

"umm, we also wanted to ask you about the pungent smell of weed emitting off of the two of you? we searched your vehicle and didn't find any, but we smell it."

"our friend has a medicine condition, sorry. you can test us and everything, we haven't smoked tonight." the woman once again bobbed her head and wrote something down on a little note pad. shaking my head at myself, i was suddenly reminded of the fact that weed can stay in your system for months at a time.

"you do understand that if you were still going the same limit you were and those boys jumped out in front of y'all, you's woulda hit em." i could barely understand the woman, but i picked out certain words to create a sentence of my own.

"of course we do, but it was an open road so it certainly wouldn't have been my fault."

-

cameron and i were later dropped off at the car. neither of us shared a word after we began to drive away. it was just full of silence. my mouth was dry with words that i could not vocalize. "what are we going to tell the others?" my voice was small as i tried to concentrate on the dark road in front of us. "i mean, we were absent for 3 hours so..."

"what's the point in telling them more lies?" he scoffed. my heart fluttered with embarrassment. "i mean, we are cutting it close, babe." he was right. "one way or another they are going to start getting suspicious and find out somehow. if we don't tell them, they will find out and it will be devastating because we lied to them."

"i-i know. it's just... what about the-the-the..." taking a few deep breaths, i tried to discard my anxiety and worry and i spoke. "what if it gets out somehow. like to the fans and such."

"well, then it gets out. i don't see what the big deal is? because i don't think it's your fans you are worried about. is it matt? are you frightened about matt knowing about us?" wanting to get back home, i began to speed up again. knowing that cameron was obviously irritated with me made this drive ten times worse. i wish i was back in oregon. "come on, i'm curious!"

"no, it's not matt," i whisper under my breath.

"pardon?"

"it's not about matt," i raise my voice slightly and sniff away this drowning feeling. "it's not about you either. i love you, i just feel like even though we have been dating for 5 days, everything is already twisting and turning."

"but it doesn't have to." of course it didn't have to!

"i told you so many times, i don't love myself enough to be able to be able to care for someone else. i'm trying my hardest, cam. i really am. i'm fucked up right now, i feel like absolute shit and it's not getting better."

"i'll teach you to love yourself again."

-

😳