Just because someone smiles all the time doesn't mean their life is perfect. That smile is a symbol of hope and strength. Behind it is a world of pain.

“Mommy, Mommy! Can you please read me a story before bedtime?” I ask in my little four year old voice.

“Of course sweetie. Which one do you want me to read you?”

“The one about how everyone lives happily ever after!” Mommy chuckles.

“But Lexi, they all end like that!” she says, ruffling my blonde hair. I smile and giggle.

“I know. Does that stuff happen in real life, Mommy?” I ask, cocking my head to the side curiously. Mommy’s smile fades and she gives me a sympathetic look.

“Baby that is something that you will learn when you’re all grown up.”

My eyes shoot open and I sit up in bed. It’s still dark outside. I rub my eyes and sigh. I get out of bed and walk down the stairs to the kitchen. I fill up a glass of water and take a few sips when I hear footsteps. I turn around and see Austin standing in the doorway. “Another dream about Mom?” he asks me. I nod and feel the tears sting my eyes. I try not to let them fall. Crying isn't really my thing. He walks over and hugs me. “It’s okay. Shh…” he comforts me.

“I wish that day never happened,” I say angrily. I remember it perfectly clear as if it was just yesterday. I think about that day all the time.

Jake had taken me out on a date. We just pulled up to my house and I got out of his car. “See you tomorrow babe. I love you.” he says to me through the car window. I smile.

“I love you too. Goodnight.” I kiss his lips through the open window before I turn to keep walking.

“Wait,” I hear him say. He gets out of the car. “Are you sure anyone’s home? It looks really dark.” I look at the house and see that he’s right. All the lights are out.

“Well…I’m sure everyone’s just sleeping.”

“It’s only seven,” he points out, checking the time on his phone.

“My parents said they’d be home though. Austin's probably still out, but my sister and my parents should be here.”

“How about I walk you to the door just to be sure?” I nod and take his hand. He’s the best. Always looking to protect me from harm. I can tell that he truly cares about me, even though I haven’t had much boy experience. Jake is my first real boyfriend, but we’re both sure that one day we’ll get married. We love each other that much.

I go to unlock the door and see that it’s already open. “Hello?” I call through the house. I hear the sound of glass breaking and the unmistakable noise of someone screaming. I look at Jake, terrified. He looks worried and jumps in front of me. We follow the sound of the noise.

“Stay here,” he says to me when we reach the bottom of the stairs.

“Jake, if there’s someone up there I’m not letting you go alone!”

“I don’t want you to get hurt, Alexis. Stay here!” he runs up the stairs and I run up after him, ignoring his orders. I hear someone scream again, but this time it sounds more familiar.

“Please! No! Please don’t do this! You can have our money, take anything you want! Just please don’t shoot!” I hear my mother’s voice cry from the master bedroom. Jake bursts in and I stay behind his back. I see my Mom and Dad on the floor against the wall. A man with a gun dressed in all black is standing by the glass door to the balcony. The glass is broken and shattered all over the floor. The man’s attention turns to me and Jake when we come in.

“Get out!” the man screams at us.

“Put the gun down!” Jake yells back.

“Jake what are you doing?! He’s going to kill all of us! Don’t be stupid!” I whisper in his ear. I watch as Jake glances at a metal shovel sitting a few feet away. The man must have used it to shatter the glass door. “Don’t do it,” I beg quietly in his ear.

“Alex, go downstairs.”

“No, I won’t-“

“Go downstairs,” he says in a harsher tone. “Please?” he begs, much softer now. I know he just wants to protect me, but I can’t let him do this. I slowly nod and back away, pulling out my phone to call for help. In one quick movement he reaches for the shovel and multiple gun shots go off. I scream, running back in to see if Jake’s okay. Thankfully, he’s alright. I sigh in relief until I feel cold, strong hands on my wrists. I scream again.

“Let me go!” I cry. I feel a gun to my head and tears begin to run down my cheeks. I glance at my parents in the corner of the room, terrified.

“Please let her go! We’ll do anything, just don’t hurt our daughter!” my Dad begs.

“Shut up!” the man yells and turns around to shoot them. Two shots. That’s all it took. I scream at the sight of my parents, lying dead on the floor of their own house.

“Jake, get out of here, call the cops. Go!” I yell at him through my terrified sobs.

“I told you to shut up!” the man yells at me, kicking my shin and holding the gun back to my head. His grip on my wrists tightens and I feel pain shoot through me.

“Alexis, I’m not leaving you here to die!” Jake protests, holding the shovel ready to hit the man.

“Make one more move and she’s gone,” the man says in a creepy voice, smirking. Jake pulls out his phone to call the police. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” He presses the gun closer to my head. I give Jake a look that says to run. Get out and leave me here. He shouldn’t have to risk his life for me. I’m going to die.

“I’ll do whatever you want, just don’t hurt her,” Jake says, his eyes on me. The man removes the gun from my head and points it at Jake instead.

“NO!” I cry. The man kicks me.

“Shut up,” he says, throwing me into the corner.

“Jake, run,” I tell him. He just stands there, staring at the man. Neither of them moves.

“Drop the shovel,” the man orders. Jake drops it to the ground. “Now I want you to sit over there with your little girlfriend and don’t say a single word. If you call anyone, you both get shot. If you make noise or try to move, you both get shot. Got it?” he says in a cold voice. Jake nods and slowly makes his way across the room. The man follows him with his gun, holding it against the back of his head. Jake mouths the words ‘I love you’ before doing the stupidest thing he could have done.

He turns around and kicks the man in the gut, causing him to fall to the ground, sending a bullet into the ceiling. He starts to punch him and beat him as best as he could, but the man still had the gun in his hand.

He still had enough strength to pull the trigger.

Which is exactly what he did.

That day I saw three people I love die because of me. If my dad didn’t tell the man to let me go, my parents wouldn’t have died. Jake gave his life to save me.

After he shot Jake the man was too beaten to move well. He remained on the ground while I called the police and locked myself in the bathroom. My brother was out of the house when this all happened three years ago. My sister was too young to remember any of it. She was only a year old at the time, sleeping in her own room when the man broke in. Now it’s just the three of us. My brother’s 21, I’m 18, and my sister Claire is only 4. It’s not a perfect life in any way but we try to keep going, taking it one day at a time. We take care of each other.

“Go back to bed,” Austin says to me. “Everything’s okay now.” I nod. I have dreams almost every night about that day. Sometimes they’re about Jake, sometimes they’re about Dad, and sometimes they’re even about the killer. But mostly, they’re about Mom. I was close to my dad but I was always closest to my Mom. I miss her the most.

I crawl back into bed and try to sleep again, but it’s no use. I can never get back to sleep after dreams like that. I usually just lie awake until morning comes, letting tears pour down my face. Sometimes I’ll strum on my guitar or sing to pass the time. I grab my acoustic and begin to play Keep holding On by Avril Lavigne. One of my favorite songs. I cry until I have no more tears left.

When the clock turns to 6:30 I carefully place my guitar on its stand and head for the shower. When I’m finished I go to my closet and pick out a ruffled red tank top and a black button-less cardigan to go over top. I wear my tight dark wash skinny jeans and slide my feet into my black high-heeled boots. I brush my teeth and wash my face, not bothering with makeup. I leave my hair in its natural blonde waves and smear on some clear lip gloss like I do every morning. I grab the final touch to my outfit before going to wake up Claire. My necklace. My mother gave it to me when I was 10. She said that her grandmother gave it to her at that age and that I should keep it forever. It was a simple necklace. Nothing too complicated. But I still thought it was beautiful. The necklace was silver and had a heart with a ribbon in the center. It's supposed to be a symbol for strength or something. I wore it every single day. I put it on and then headed over to Claire’s room. I sit on the edge of her bed and gently shake her shoulder.

“Claire-bear, it’s time to get up. You have to go to school now,” I say softly as she opens her eyes and looks at me. I smile.

“Do I have to?” she asks in a sleepy voice.

“Yes. I’m sorry, but you have to go or else you won’t get to be smart!” She sighs and gets out of bed to get ready. I go downstairs and give Austin a hug goodbye before starting towards the door. He always drives Claire to school because his job doesn’t start until nine. He works at a construction site by the highway. It was the only job he could get on short notice without a college education.

My job isn’t ideal either. I work at a photography studio. They have me take pictures for clothing advertisements and stuff like that. It’s not very exciting, but it pays somewhat well. The only reason I got the job in the first place is because my uncle is the owner of the company. After my parents passed away I was in desperate need of a job to support Claire, myself, and Austin. My uncle heard about this and decided to teach me a few things. I ended up being not half bad at photography so he gave me a job as an intern at the age of sixteen. I worked my way up from that point. I dropped out of school so I could get a job and make money. I did what I had to in order to make sure that Claire would have a good childhood and not end up in an orphanage. Austin and I work hard every day to make sure of that.

I catch a taxi to Starbucks and pick up a coffee on my way to work. I usually grab breakfast, but I don’t have enough time if I don’t want to be late. I end up walking through the door just at 7:30. Right on time.

“Alex you’re late,” my uncle Dave scolds as he walks by me on the way to his desk.

“What? No, I’m right on time. It’s 7:30 right now.” He gives me a look and I decide not to argue.

“I need to speak with you. Follow me to my office,” he says as he continues his way to his desk. I sit in one of the chairs as he closes the door behind us. I drop my bag at my feet.

“What is it? Did I do something wrong?” I ask, worried. I can’t lose this job. It’s my lifeline.

“No, you’re fine,” he tells me. I breathe a sigh of relief. “But there is an assignment I have for you.” I nod. He slaps a magazine on the desk. “Have a look.” I pick it up and scan through it. I see pictures of different celebrities.

“Okay. What’s it for?”

“This magazine has been working with us for years now. They trust our company to take flawless pictures of these people, and we have never failed them before. Our photos are on the posters inside, the covers of their magazine issues, they’re on every page Alex. We can’t let them down.” I nod my head, understanding. “Do you think that I can trust you to handle the photo shoot today?”

“Yes, of course. I won’t let you down.”

“You better not. This magazine is our biggest client. I’ve been watching your work over the past few months and I think that you have the potential to handle something like this, but this is a big assignment.” I nod.

“I’m ready for it.”

“Good. The models will be here in an hour for the shoot. Be ready when they get here and try to be quick about the pictures. We don’t want to waste any of their time as we know they have very busy schedules.” I nod and he dismisses me. I grab my bag and sigh as I toss it onto my own chair in my small little cubicle space. All that I had there was a computer for photo editing. That’s the only reason I got a space to myself in the first place.

Of course because it was so boring I had to decorate it a bit, even though it’s a tight spot to fit in. I had a bunch of cute little things sitting around. I had a sea turtle magnet that Claire made in crafts one day at school. I had a bunch of different colored paper clips and pens and stuff. My notebooks were all sparkly or designed somehow in pretty colors. I put a picture of Austin giving Claire a piggy back ride right by my computer. Next to it I had a picture of my parents on their wedding day. Leaning against the frame was a picture of me and Jake. We were kissing and looked like the happiest people in the world. That was when my life was perfect and there were no problems that needed to be solved. Now the problems just pile on until I can barely have enough energy to fix them. But I do my best.

“Trouble?” Rebecca asks me, typing away on her computer. She’s my desk neighbor. We’re right next to each other all day so we became friends. She’s really nice, but only works part time. She’s an assistant to the photographers a lot. She doesn’t do much picture taking herself.

“Sort of. I’m supposed to do this big assignment that could possibly make or break my career.” I roll my eyes.

“Oh. Well that could be good…I guess. As long as it goes well.”

“Yeah. I should probably go set up. Talk later?” I ask, giving a hopeful smile.

“Yeah sure. Good luck!”

“Thanks. I’ll need it.” I take a deep breath as I make my way to the backdrop I would be using. I take my camera and fix it on the stand, positioning it right. As I try to aim it at the right spot a face comes into my camera lens shot. I look up and see a familiar blonde boy looking at me. He was wearing a blue polo shirt and dark grey pants.

“Hello,” he says in an Irish accent, smiling. “Are you Alexis?” he asks me. I nod my head and smile at him. I had seen a few pictures of him in the magazine Uncle Dave showed me.

“Alex or Lexi for short.”

“I’m Niall, and over there is the rest of One Direction.” He points towards the snack table where five guys, also dressed in blue, are raiding the food set out for them. “I think you’re the photographer for our photo shoot.”

I smile. “I guess I am.”

I had heard of One Direction, I mean who hasn’t? But I’m not an obsessed fan or anything.

“We should get started then,” I say, calling over the rest of the boys. They each give me a hug and tell me their names. I try my best to remember them. “Okay so Zayn, can you move forward a bit? And Harry, move closer to Louis. Perfect.” I snap a few pictures. “Alright now Liam how about you move to the other side of Niall so he’s in the middle for this one. Great. Now smile like you’re actually happy to be here,” I say, making them chuckle and getting a genuine smile just as I press the button, snapping more pictures. It goes on like this for about another hour. I keep in mind to not waste time and to make sure the pictures are as perfect as they can be. They had no idea how much this photo shoot would affect my life. If I did badly, I would get fired. If I got fired we would most likely go broke and have to sell the house. Maybe even go homeless.

When the shoot is finished I grab a water bottle as I click through some of the pictures. I find one of all five guys spraying silly string at the camera and I smile. It was a cute picture. “So why aren’t you in front of the camera?” I hear Niall ask me from behind. I turn around and see him munching on some pretzels from the snack table.

“What?” I’m not sure I understood his question.

“I mean why are you the one behind the camera taking the pictures when you should be the model posing for them?” he says, a light smirk on his face. My cheeks turn a crimson color. Was he flirting?

“Thanks but I don’t think I have what it takes to be a model.” I take my camera off the stand and walk to where my computer is. He follows me.

“I think you do. Whoa, is this your office?” he asks, looking around my small desk area.

“If you could call it that, yes.” I chuckle at his amazement with my tiny work space. I plug my camera into the computer and let the photos transfer as Niall looks at all my pictures on my desk. I didn’t really mind him being there, but then he asked a question and I got a bit tense.

“Is this your boyfriend?” he asks, pointing to the picture of me and Jake from when I was 15. I see his smile fade a bit. Or maybe I just imagined that.

“I, um…” I trail off, having flash backs. I shut my eyes and shake my head a bit, clearing my mind. “He was,” I finally answer, smiling to hide the emotions I was really feeling at that moment.

“Did you guys break up?”

“I’d rather not talk about it,” I say, hinting him to drop it. He doesn’t ask another question. “Um, shouldn’t you be getting back to the rest of the boys? I’m sure they’re wondering where you are,” I say, a bit quietly.

“Right. But, uh, before I go I was wondering if I could have your number. You seem really…nice, and I think it would be cool if we could maybe hang out sometime…” He seemed a bit shy. I thought it was kind of cute, actually.

“Sure. Let me see your phone.” He hands me his iPhone and I hand him my cheap sliding keyboard phone. I put my number in his contacts as ‘Alexis(:' and hand it back to him. He smiles when he sees it. I look at his name in my phone. ‘Nialler’

"Nialler?" I wonder out loud.

"It's what everyone calls me," he says, shrugging. I smile.

"Alright then, Nialler. I guess I'll talk to you later."

He winks and walks away. I smile as him and the other four boys leave before looking back at my picture of me and Jake sitting on my desk. I sigh and continue to organize the pictures from my computer.