I throw my suitcase back onto my bed, the thing is still heavy with my things from Spearhead. I haven't unpacked anything yet, so I start to rip clothes out of the case, ready to pack them up all over again in a small backpack.

I need to pack light, and I need to hurry. I want to be gone as soon as possible.

Going around my old room, I hardly look at the childhood bedroom I used to call home. It's filled to the brim with old memories that haunt me with their reminder of a better time. So many memories, both fond and depressing.

I grab only the essentials, a few changes of clothes and some toiletries. By the time I'm done I'm seething. All I can think of is Opal, and the guilt I feel over not going out to find her sooner.

And then there's the guilt I feel over Rain, and how I can't be here for her. My little sister is about to shift, and I'm leaving. It should a hard choice to make, but it's not at the same time. I've always been there for Rain, always watched out for her, but I can't be here for her now.

How can I be here when my mind is out there with Opal? How can I stand around when I don't know where she is, or if she's safe?

I know the answer already. I can't. She's my mate, my priority. I can't justify staying when I have a mate to find. The little idiot left without a note or a phone, completely at the mercy of the human world that she has no idea about.

Still pissed and getting worse, I storm out of my room and past Rain's room, hoping my parents don't hear me when I take the creaky stairs two at a time. The both of them disappeared in Rain's room hours ago.

They're so focused on their daughter, how can they care where I'm off to? Dad knows I'm here to find Opal. That should be good enough.

But, I'm not so lucky to go completely unnoticed in a house full of people. Titus stands in the kitchen, leaning against the counter with a jar of peanut butter in his hand, and a spoon in the other. He looks up at me with curiosity gleaming in his blood colored eyes.

"Where are you going in such a hurry?" He wonders, casually shoving another spoonful of peanut butter in his mouth.

I roll my eyes at him, playfully roughing his hair as I head towards the pantry.

Even though he's almost as tall as I am, he's still my little brother.

"Out." I answer in a low voice, hoping he doesn't pry. He doesn't, but he does follow me with a lazy stroll and too much wisdom on his face.

"Mom's not going to be happy." Titus insists, but that's all he says as he observes me grabbing a handful of snacks for the road and shoving them in my bag roughly.

I straighten, staring at him eye to eye and finding it so relieving to be back home once again. I never expected it to feel so natural, so right. It's not perfect, nothing will be as it should until Opal is safe at home.

It's also odd. When I left, Titus was 8, and he's doubled in size since then. So much has happened in 4 years, and I've missed it all.

"Well, she can always buy more food. She has to restock enough with how much you eat. Your first shift is right around the corner, you devour everything in sight." I muse, zipping my backpack up with a smirk.

Titus narrows his eyes at me.

"That's not what I meant, and you know it."

I sigh, rubbing at my temples as I turn and walk away. Of course I knew that, but I can't even think about Mom right now. There's so much tension, so much lying under the surface. I know she wants me to stay a while, but I can't. I love her to death, but I can't face her, not now. I can't watch her heart break when I walk out the door again.

But when I turn around, it appears I won't have a choice in the matter.

"Care to explain where you're going so late, Keifer?" Dad is standing in front of the door, blocking my exit with his overwhelming presence bubbling in the foyer.

Mom stands beside him, as she always does, looking so small and worried as she wrings her hands in her skirt. It's almost as if my thoughts of her summoned her here. She tries to appear confident, but it doesn't work. She's worried.

"I'm going to find Opal." I say sternly, trying to match my Father in the intimidation department, sticking out my chest.

Mom takes a step towards me with her lips pressed together. I can sense her unease, her fear, the smell of it is so strong.

"But you can't go, sweetheart, you just got here." She begs, pleading with me as she gets closer. I take a step back.

"I'm going, and that's final." I say firmly, and the words come out harsh as my temper rises.

I don't want to be mean, but I need to show her I'm serious. I won't be talked into staying.

Mom's face turns red with actual anger. I've hardly ever seen her get mad, so it's a shock when she tears into me, wagging a finger in my face.

"You do not get to speak to me like that. You have no right to reprimand me like I'm some sort of child, you are my child. You will treat me with respect as your Mother!" She says, her hands fisting at her side as her voice gains in volume.

She's about as scary as a newborn kitten, but I'm too irritated to stay silent. I need to hold back, but it's becoming increasingly hard as my inner anger rages.

Dad goes to stand behind her, placing his heavy hands on her shoulders to calm her. He doesn't look happy either. He glares at me. I shake my head.

"You can't leave. You just got here."

I'm reaching my breaking point. Each word she yelled has me dialed on high.

The fire raging inside won't be quenched. My chest tightens, my brain fogs, and the water boils over.

"Respect you? Right." I scoff, mocking her as heated fury blazes through my limbs. Her fists unclench, her glare loosening.

"You can hardly call yourself my Mother, you're not, not even close. You're just some little human who decided to raise me." I throw out.

Mom flinches as if I've struck her, the back of her head hits Dad's chest.

As soon as those hurtful words are there, I wish I could take them back. I have no idea how they got out of my mouth.

Who am I?

I watch her fragile eyes break along with her heart. Tears overflow down her pink cheeks, her mouth hangs wide open with shock.

She quickly turns as a sob climbs her throat, making a break for the stairs. I reach out, tears filling my own eyes as I realize what I've done, what I just said. I reach for her, trying to grab her before she can get away.

"Mom, wait, I..." My apology is stopped when rough hands grab my shirt and throw me into the wall. I look up to see a seething lycan standing above me, his eyes turning black as strength ripples through the air.

My Father's aura is enough to suffocate someone. He's absolutely enraged.

"You've said enough, you little piece of shit. She may be a human, but she's my mate, and your Luna. She's taken care of you from day one. I'm your Father, but I'm also your Alpha. You speak to her like that again, and I won't hesitate when I beat your ass. Do you understand me?" He yells, and I set my jaw in place, feeling a tear drip down my face in shame. I nod quickly.

I never meant to hurt Mom. The words were right there, so close to the surface that I'm astounded. How could I even think those things? My temper is getting worse and worse with each passing day. What the hell is wrong with me?

I don't like what I've become.

"She doesn't know that Opal is your mate. I haven't broken it to her yet. If she knew, she would beat herself up endlessly for letting you go in the first place."

That makes more sense, if she knew she wouldn't be trying to stop me.

I nod again, and that's all it takes for Dad to let go of me and race up the stairs after his mate. I stand there for a moment, panting as the realization of what happened floods me. How can I leave after that? I just obliterated my own Mother, and now I'm just going to sneak out?

"Nice going." I cringe, completely forgetting that Titus was standing right behind us the whole time.

The kid inherited our Mom's sweet nature, so I've hardly seen him angry either, but he is now. His black eyebrows are pinched together in fury. He lowers his peanut butter, his always present appetite abruptly gone.

Titus walks away, shaking his head while I'm left to regret my actions in a dead silence.

I recover, slowly but surely, excepting the horrific incident with unease. I can't believe what I said, it's like someone took over my body and decided to ruin my life. I think of Opal, and what she would say. She always sees the best in me, always encouraging me to be better and look for the good where I can.

That's what terrifies me. After all these years, will things be different between us? Will she see a monster instead of a mate when she looks me in the eyes? I don't want to let her down, but I also know that I can't live without her.

I ask myself for the millionth time if it's selfish of me to be with her even if I'm not good for her.

I sigh, running a hand over my face before I go up the stairs. I have to make this right, I have to say I'm sorry so she knows I didn't mean it. I hurt one of the most important people in my life with a few choice words. How can I make it right? I love my Mom, she's always been there for me, but it's been hard for me to realize her worth when I've been taught to have no weakness.

At Spearhead it was drilled into us that being weak is not acceptable, I made the mistake of applying the rule to my own Mother. My sweet Mother. My sweet little human Mother. Just because humans are despised in the lycan community doesn't mean I have to stoop to that level.

It's as if in a moment of blinding anger, my subconscious just tore into the weakest member of the house. I only wish I could take it back.

As I walk down the hallway to my parents room, I can hear her sobs through the door.

Shit.

"I just... I don't understand. Did I do something wrong?" She demands, sniffling, my Dad sighs.

"No, baby, no, of course not. Keifer is just going through a hard time right now. That's all. It's his fault for taking it out on you. He cares about you, you know that. We just have to work through this." He soothes, always one to volunteer to comfort her in time of need.

That's what mates do, they comfort each other, take care of each other. That's why Rome is sitting beside Rain as she goes through her shift, that's why my Father whispers to my Mother as he wipes away her tears, and that's why I have to find Opal before it's too late.

I curse, turning on my heel and sprinting down the stairs with a renewed sense of urgency. I doubt my Mom wants an apology right about now, and I need to be gone as soon as I can.

There's only one person who can help me, and I'd guess he's pretty pissed at me.

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If you're reading this, you are brave :)