I finished the shower and I'm currently eating, I don't want to but I need my strength. I'm wearing a baggy tee, still better than being naked in front of him.

I heard a click indicating that someone is unlocking the door, I ignored it and focused on the food.

2 pairs of footsteps got closer, I looked back to see carlos with a woman who seems to be in her 30s with tattoos all over her visible body.

"get to work" carlos said in a monotone confusing me, she nodded and walked towards me with a bag.

it better not be what I think it is, I'm not getting a tattoo of his choice.

"lay down on your stomach." she said as she pointed at the bed, I stood up ignoring my sore body and said " I don't want a tattoo." to her and carlos.

he clenched his jaw and said "amber lay the fuck down and let her do her job.", I glared at him and said " how about you back the fuck down and let me decide what to do with my body?".

he stood up and started taking long strides towards me, I didn't move and not because his look is freezing me or all that shit. I'm because I'm not afraid of him, I only back away when I'm at fault but I'm not. he is.

he grabbed my arm roughly once he got close enough and said " you either lay down on your stomach without troubling me or I will make you.".

he didn't give me a chance to answer and just pushed my on the bed, I looked up to see the woman staring at me with an annoyed expression.

she reached her bag and was about to open it but I stopped her "I don't want a tattoo.".

she huffed then proceeded to take some things out, I stood up but it wasn't long before I was on the bed again.

"leave." he said in an angered tone, I know where this is going and I've prepared myself for it in the shower.

I also know this is not the last time it will happen but I will make sure it doesn't last.

he forcefully turned me on my stomach and took my wrists and tied them to the handcuffs on the bed board ignoring my struggles and insults.

I closed my eyes and prepared for the worst but surprisingly he left somewhere.

I breathed in and out to calm my breath, I can do this. it shouldn't affect me or my strength.

his cold hands on back made goosebumps rise all over my body, he suddenly ripped the shirt off leaving me with nothing but the lace underwear he got along with the shirt.

my heart began racing and I balled my hands into fists around the chain of the cuffs to give myself strength.

instead of a painful thrust, I received a stinging whip that ripped a scream out of me.

"WHEN I TELL YOU TO DO SOMETHING, YOU FUCKING DO IT!" he yelled as he landed another whip on my back but this time I fought back my scream.

he landed another then another each harder than the previous one till my eyes involuntarily teared up.

"we're done with the warm up, now count each whip with me." he hissed breathing heavily.

"go to hell" I said trying not to cry which angered him and he went to attack mode and started landing merciless whips on my back not even giving me time to process any.

at last I became numb to them except the warm liquid running down my back to each side of my waist.

he grabbed my hair roughly and pulled me back making me involuntarily hiss at the pain.

" what about now, you still have a smart mouth?" he said glaring at me, I forced a smile and nodded because I don't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing what he wanted to see.

he tightened his grip on my hair and I said " I have to have it since you don't have a brain.".

he clenched his jaw and said " let's see if you will still have it after what I will do.", I'm okay with whatever it is as long as he doesn't force himself on me.

he uncuffed the handcuffs but not from my wrists, from the bed board, he then grabbed my hair and dragged me out of the bed making wince when my back hit the edge of the bed.

he dragged me not giving a shit about my injured back that's wiping the floor, I closed my eyes and then opened them and just let him drag me.

he stopped near a black door and opened it revealing a probably 5ft to 3ft room painted black, my eyes widened as I realized what he wants to do but I put on a neutral face and tried to hide my fear.

he pushed me in and said "you're staying here for the rest of the day, if you still don't behave when you're out, you will go in again." before slamming the door shut and locking it from outside leaving me in the dark.

my heart began beating rapidly and my breath hitched at the darkness surrounding me, the urge to scream and bang on the door is overtaking me but I won't.

that's what he wants and he's done enough, I've already suffered so what's the point of giving in?

'I'm okay, I'm okay' I repeated to myself trying not to let my fear get the best of me.

I moved back a little but hissed when my back hit the wall, it's too small and I can't breathe.

feelings bottled within me and tears fell down my face as I breathed in and out trying to calm down.

the air seems to not be enough making me want to bang on the door, but instead I turned to the wall and punched it.

the stinging pain in my back as I moved and the pain that shot my knuckles as soon as my fist made contact with the wall gave me some relief, a distraction.

I punched the wall again and again till grey spots painted the pitch black darkness and my breaths became faster than I could keep up with.

I lost control of my body and fell on the floor with a thud before my mind drifted to unconsciousness.

---------------------

I woke up to a beeping sound, a horrible pain on my back and a shattering headache, I slowly opened my eyes already knowing how blinding the light will be.

my eyes scanned the room I've been in for god knows how long now, I can't really tell because I don't for how long I went unconscious the last 2 times.

my eyes met the same piercing hazel ones, a glare quickly took over the neutral look I had on to which he stood up and walked towards me.

I looked down to see white bandages on both my knuckles and an IV tube stuck to the top of my hand.

the bed dipped beside me but I didn't look up, not because I'm scared to but because I don't want to see him. I just want to ignore him.

"you know you're mine which means your body belongs to me, I don't tolerate those who hurt what's mine and you did." he said calmly making me burst into laughter at his nonsense.

"you call this hurt?" I said as I raised my hands for him to see, then looked at him and said " then what's this?" pointing at my back.

" you raped me into unconsciousness and did it again later not to mention how many times you grabbed my hair, or the bites on my back. you physically hurt me, why are you tolerating yourself? or am I not yours when it comes to you? nothing you say makes sense! grow the fuck up and learn how to be a man rather than a coward who's only way to be with someone is by force. you-"

my words were cut off by a slap to my right cheek that reopened the wound on my lip.

" only I can hurt you. I fucking told you that a little yes can stop everything, so till you swallow your ego and submit this is what you will get. and trust me I can be with whoever I want to be with which is you and it's what I'm working on." he hissed.

I chuckled and said " then you're gonna work your entire life or end up killing me.", I'm far away from calm or the mood to laugh but showing weakness won't do me good.

being strong will bring me more physical pain but less mental one, at least I know I'm fighting the man who killed my friend and father.

he brought his hand closer to the shirt I'm wearing to which I moved away but he pinned me down with his hand making me involuntarily hiss in pain as he pressed on one of the wounds on my back.

he pulled away with a smirk and said " seeing my name tattooed on you back with the whip marks and your smart mouth makes me want to fuck you and punish you for the rest of the night.".

my eyes widened and I immediately stood up no longer caring about the pain from my back. I snatched the IV tube and walked to a mirror hoping he was just messing with me.

he watched me as I moved the shirt aside and there it was a 2 inches carlos with a smaller rodriguez under it tattooed on my back.

I don't know whether to scream, cry, or beat him up because I want to do them all at once.

nonetheless I took a deep breath to calm down, a tattoo can be removed. no need to give him the reaction he wants.

I turned to face him and said "pathetic asshole, rapist, murderer would've been better because those express you more than your name. I'm sure everyone will know it's you the moment they see it. carlos rodriguez is .... basic and plain but go off.".

he clenched his jaw and stood up, he turned me around and slammed my stomach and breasts into the wall in a second.

he pinned me against the wall with his body making my wounds sting and said " your screams are way better than this.".

he added pressure to my back making me cry out in pain, " pull something like that again and I will kill your friends including that nathan guy." he said against my neck.

I tried to push him away because the pain is unbearable and I can feel wetness against my back.

none of what he said mattered except one word, nathan.

*flashback*

"don't close the door it might get locked" I said walking a head, we're currently in an abandoned house for a dare.

it's been a week since we broke up and kiara thought it was a good idea to dare us to come here and spend an hour.

the door got slammed making me slightly jump, I turned to see him wiggling the door knob.

we heard kiara laughing before she said "enjoy the next 3600 seconds.". I let out a sigh and said "you will pay for this!".

she left and that was the last thing we heard before we both fell into silence.

we hang out twice in the last week but with others not alone, which makes this the first time we're alone after the break up.

I looked around the destroyed furniture and then the broken glass window , he cleared his throat and said "how are you?".

I sat on the floor and said "good what about you?". he sat in front of me and said " I'm good.".

I looked at the broken window not really knowing what to say anymore. "you know I care about you right?" he stated more than asked out of the blue.

I looked at him also not knowing what to say, 'yes' ...I don't know if that's my answer, ' I don't know.' sounds needy , 'no' sounds rude.

"right?" he asked with a frown, I nodded somehow unsure of my answer is right, not that he doesn't care...I know he does. but it's weird to say yes.

"I'm really sorry if I gave you false hopes, but I want you to know that our break up doesn't mean I stopped caring about you. I just don't want to hold you back knowing I might not be able to give you what you need in the future." he said his amber eyes piercing me.

I shrugged my shoulders trying to act like I don't care but I do.

"it's okay nathan, we're 15 you almost 16... things like this happen all the time and don't worry about my hopes, I wasn't sure about my feeling either." I lied to make this less awkward.

his eyes dropped a little and he just nodded before looking away, I looked down taking in the silence and trying to ignore the thick tension.

"so.. uhm I heard you're hanging out with that guy from chemistry." he said curiously.

I looked at him and said " that's dean, and yeah he offered to help me with the coming exams.".

he frowned and said " you always took my help...why not now? is it because we broke up?", that's true he always helped me but I really didn't think about it that way.

"oh no, he offered to help and I accepted it, it has nothing to do with the break up." I reasoned.

he kept his frown on and said "do you like him?", I shrugged my shoulders and said " I like him as a person, but no I don't think I like the idea of liking someone or dating.".

his eyes showed mixed emotions before he said " so what, you're gonna stay single till you decide to like someone?".

I shook my head and said " I don't know, I might be with someone if they're nice without dating.".

he raised an eyebrow and asked " you mean friends with benefits or one nightstands?", I shrugged my shoulders because I myself don't know the answer.

his amber eyes shone in a different shade as the movement of his expression took some light, he nodded and said " I'm bored" before standing up and banging on the door.

I stood up too and just watched as he banged on the door and called out for kiara.

*end of flashback*

tears blurred my vision of the wall as he held my hands against my back and thrusted in me, I cried out in pain and closed my eyes in hopes of finding any sort of comfort.

he grabbed my hair back and pressed my neck against the wall making a feeling of discomfort fill me.

he thrusted in me again and said something but my mind zoned out at nothing and his voice disappeared.

I can get through this if I pretend it's not happening.