PART II - HELEN

"Good morning," Aimee said before kissing me on the cheek as she walked past my locker. It was less a greeting than an announcement – a statement. You, Helen, are having a good morning.

And I did. After the party on Friday, I spent a wonderful weekend with my family (Dad, Buttercup and Emma, the Jane Austen novel), I was more than prepared for my perfect Julia-monologue (I have a faint cold fear thrills through my veins / That almost freezes up the heat of life), and I had already started to reread The Hate U Give which was given to us by Mrs. Carter (and I still liked it).

"Helen?"

I turned around and realized that Aimee had come back: "You wanna come over for dinner? Mom said your Dad's gonna work late tonight."

I laughed a little even though it hurt knowing that my Dad was gonna be late once again. "Yes, I would love to!"

"Nice. See you tonight." Aimee turned around and got lost in the crowd. Mondays were Amanda's free days, so I often ended up at their house. And, of course, when my Dad was working late.

I took a deep breath, put on a smile, and closed the door.

On my way to the classroom, I got stopped by Sammy Mo. "Hi, can I ask you something."

"Go ahead!"

"I've asked James for his English notes from last year, but you know him. I couldn't make sense of any of them. Would you mind giving me yours?"

I shook my head. "Of course not. I'll give them to you when I'm over at yours the next time."

He sighed in relief. "Thank you, Helen!"

Jamie and Sammy were two entirely different people. Jamie often overflows with confidence, he's so very sure of himself. Sammy on the other side was quiet – I don't know how to say it otherwise. I liked him but I found it quite hard being around him because he was exceptionally bad at keeping a conversation going.

"See you, Sammy," I said and patted his shoulder.

"Bye!"

I hadn't even made three steps when I was stopped once again. This time it was Aaron.

"Helen, Mom wanted to know if you wanted to come over for dinner."

"Aimee has already asked me. You can count on me."

I thought about ruffling through his hair like I did when we were younger and he still some inches shorter than me, but I changed my mind. Aaron was now way taller, so I decided to rather give him a one-armed hug.

"Love you."

"Love you, too."

I said "Hi" to a couple more people on my way to English class. Jamie caught up to me when I was about to enter the classroom and gave me a kiss. I leaned my back against the wall next to the door and let him stroke some hair behind my ear.

"What are you doing tonight?" He asked, taking my one free hand.

"I'm going to my grandparent's house for dinner. You can come if you want."

He made a face that told me he'd rather not and then said with a sultry grin: "Can't you skip that? We could spend the evening together, just the two of us."

I knew what he was saying. And I knew that I didn't want that. God, why didn't he understand? Was it always going to be this way from now on? He was going to ask me to have sex with him and I was going to find an excuse? Another thought shot through my mind: Maybe he just wants to spend a nice evening together. Watch a movie, eat pizza, make out. Like we always did. But no, something had changed.

His smile dropped and suddenly, he looked irritated.

I smiled apologizing at him. "I promised Aimee."

He shrugged his shoulders.

We hadn't addressed the matter again. He had called me and said sorry for leaving, but we didn't talk about the fact that I did not want to sleep with him. The past week we had pretended everything was perfect.

"You can come over tomorrow if you –" I stopped when Sofia pushed past us and went into the classroom. I didn't even realize I had looked after her before Jamie said: "Okay."

He kissed me again and followed Sofia.