"Can you...me."

I frowned as a sharp pain shot through my chest.

"...you hear me?"

I slowly blinked my eyes opened and came face to face with some random man.

"Hey Summer, how are you feeling?"

"I-I'm fine?"

"Good, I'm Dr. Hound."

"Nice to um..."

What happened?

"Did I..."

"Have a heart attack? Yes."

"Of course I did."

He hummed. "I was looking through your files and, this is your fourth heart attack this year."

Less than last year.

"That's pretty serious and it looks like your disease is getting worse."

I sighed. "I um, I don't want to seem like an asshole but can you tell me all of this later?"

He smiled softly and nodded. "Of course, would you like me to send in your family?"

I quickly nodded. "Yes please."

"Alright, hang tight."

He sat down his clipboard and started out of the room. I sat up slowly and rolled my eyes as I looked at the IV in my arm.

So much for feeling better.

Ugh, I had a heart attack at the baby shower...that sucks. I know Vanessa is pissed and now I probably have to explain what happened to...

Shit.

To Y/n.

Here I was trying to keep it a secret but of course, my stupid heart had to fail me again.

There was a knock at the door and I took in a deep breath. "Come in."

The door slowly pushed open and in walked Y/n with a carton of ice cream and a pack of Oreos.

I smiled softly as she closed the door behind her and walked towards the bed.

"Hi." She whispered.

"Hey."

She sighed and sat in the chair next to my bed before putting the snacks down on a table.

"So?" She raised a brow. "The fuck was that?"

I huffed and looked down at my lap. "Alright, I guess the cats out of the bag."

She nodded. "A fucking zoo came out of that bag."

I chuckled and instantly regretted it as another pain shot through my chest.

Y/n tensed as I gripped my chest. "Oh shi- do I need to call the doctor?"

I quickly shook my head. "No no, I'm fine."

She frowned. "Fine? You had a damn heart attack Summer."

"Oh shit, I know you're serious because you said Summer." She rolled her eyes and I sighed. "Sorry, I'm just kind of used to it at this point."

"You have heart attacks often? Vanessa wouldn't tell me anything."

Damn, she's still keeping that promise?

I shook my head. "Okay, you obviously deserve an explanation."

"Fuck yeah," she leaned back in the chair. "You scared me half to death I mean, you just collapsed in my arms and...fuck," she scoffed. "You wanna know what my first thought was?"

I nodded.

"I- okay well, shit was the first word but..."

I chuckled as she continued.

"But my first thoughts were, at least I got to make her laugh one more time," she shrugged. "I really thought you fucking died from too much salt."

I rolled my eyes. "I bet you did."

She bit her lip and reached out placing her hand on mines. "What's wrong Summer?"

Finally the time huh?

"Congenital heart disease."

She frowned. "Fucking huh?"

I chuckled. "It's a heart defect that develops before birth. It's pretty rare but I got it. Basically um, I have to really protect my heart. Most people with the disease can live normal lives but, I got it bad. Let's just say my heart is really sensitive. I can't get too stressed, eat too much salt, etc."

Y/n frowned. "Well, what can I do?" She bit her lip. "C-Could I give you my heart because I-I'd fucking give you my heart Summer."

Gee.

Speaking of hearts mines began to race after she said that. Thanks to my heart monitor, I'm sure the whole hospital knew.

Her eyes widened. "Are you having another heart-"

"No," I chuckled softly. "What you said was just sweet."

"Oh," she shook her head. "Well tell your heart to chill this is its second time scaring me."

I shook my head. "Right I'll tell it to chill."

"Thanks, now please continue."

I nodded. "Okay, the thing is I could die at any give moment...which is also why I broke your heart that night." She tilted her head. "That quote-unquote modeling gig I went to was actually me leaving to get a form of therapy that strengthens my heart."

"So you broke up with me because of your heart? Fucking romance story if I've ever read one." I chuckled softly as she smiled. "Why though? You could die at any moment so you decided we shouldn't be together?"

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, you know Vanessa and I had a thing but, what I didn't tell you was why that thing didn't last. It wasn't because of David it was because I was scared of hurting her. I honestly never wanted to even be her best friend but that girl is so loveable that I couldn't push her away. We eventually fell in love with each other and I forced myself to...breakup with her. The same thing happened with you and me, I thought that if I broke your heart for some random reason you would hate me and when I died...you wouldn't be hurt. Obviously both attempts failed."

"You think?" Y/n scoffed and shook her head. "Summer you do know I loved- love you right? You hurt me but that didn't change my feelings for you."

I quickly nodded. "I know, and fuck I know I hurt you and I really need to apologize again."

"No you-"

"Yes I do," I gripped her hand. "I'm so sorry Y/n, you have to believe me when I say breaking your heart was one of the worst things I've ever done. Knowing that I broke you and made you cry really sucked and I don't know I just, I just wanted to protect you," I chuckled. "Once I found out that I could die from this disease I decided to protect everyone else and not myself."

"But why?"

"Were you not listening? I couldn't give a fuck about my feelings or myself if at the end of the day I'm just going to die."

Y/n quickly shook her head. "Don't say that Summer you-"

"I could live?" I raised a brow. "Is that what you were going to say?"

She smiled softly. "You would know if you didn't cut me off," she leaned forward, her hand still in mine. "I was going to say you should always care about yourself. The fact that you could die any day should be a huge reason why actually."

"Not really, what's the point of living a short life-"

"What's the point of missing out on that little life that you do have?" I frowned and she nodded. "I have four fear- well three since one of them already happened," she glanced up at the ceiling causing me to frown. She cleared her throat and looked back at me. "One, losing my brother, two is waking up blind, and three, three is dying unsatisfied, dying and not being happy with the life I lived. Most people are scared to die but I couldn't care less when I die just, what accomplished before I died."

She looked down. "What your not realizing is that dying sad is worse than living a short life. We don't know what's after death and we don't know if we're going to remember what our life was like on earth after we die but, say we do. Imagine looking back like fuck, I really took my life for granted," she looked back up at me. "Can I ask you something?"

I bit my lip and nodded.

"You have a family right?"

"Yeah."

"Mom, dad?" I nodded again. "Okay one down, your loved so already fuck you for not caring about your life," she hummed. "I remember you saying you're the only child but I also remember you saying you want to start a business right?"

"Wow, you remember that?"

"I could never forget anything about you." She smiled softly causing my heart to skip a beat...and again, the fucking hear monitor showed it.

I coughed trying to hide the sound of my heart speeding up. She glanced at the monitor then at my blushing face and chuckled.

"Anyways," she shook her head. "Your young and you have goals that you want to and can accomplish, two down," she snapped her fingers. "Are you in pain?"

"Like just in general?"

She nodded. "Does your heart cause you pain on a daily basis."

I shook my head. "Not unless I'm stressed."

She hummed. "So your not technically suffering- well kind of since you can't have too much salt, sucks for you." I rolled my eyes and smacked her shoulder. "So no pain, family who loves you, goals that you can accomplish, and fourth the best thing," she raised a brow. "You have your own Y/n Y/ln."

I laughed. "I fucking knew you were going to say that."

She smiled. "Well duh," she chuckled and shrugged. "Summer I get the mentality of what's the point of living if I could die at any moment but, you do know anyone could die at any moment right?"

Wow, I guess I kind of forgot about that.

"The thing is a lot of people don't have a reason to be happy which makes them not give a fuck but, you have reasons to be happy, I know that because you have me."

I shook my head and gazed into her eyes. Even though what she just said was lowkey cocky, it was still cute.

"And the thing about caring about everyone else, fuck them. Imagine if I never met you dude that would suck. At the end of the day, it's not your choice to decide what others can and can't do with their lives. If I want to risk getting my heart broken then let me deal with that."

I sighed. "But what if I die tomorrow and-"

"What if you live till your ninety?" She raised a brow. "Your going to regret pushing so many people away and not living your life out of the fear of dying. You don't see me pushing you away when there's a fifty percent chance I could die in three seconds."

She paused and looked around the room and then back at me. "See, we're both still alive."

I chuckled and nodded as I felt my eyes start to water. "Yeah, we are."

"So, in conclusion," she leaned forward and wiped away a tear that rolled down my cheek. "Fuck you for breaking my heart I mean damn," she chuckled. "We could've been happy don't you think?"

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "Not at all considering the fact that you still can't pick between Vanessa and Jasmine."

She grimaced. "Ouch, well you could've been fighting Vanessa for me-" She gasped. "Or we could've been having orgys. Dammit Summer you ruined it."

I laughed. "Shut the hell up."

She chuckled. "And I forgive you for breaking my heart on my birthday, which was a dick move," she rolled her eyes. "And most importantly, I love you, so if you do happen to die tomorrow, at least you'll die knowing that."

Ugh fuck.

I reached out and cupped her cheek pouting. "You're going to make me cry."

She quickly shook her head. "Don't, you already dropped a tear," she sighed. "You know, I said I wasn't gonna cry when I saw them take you away on that stretcher, and you weren't moving, and you were pale, and you looked lifeless," she cleared her throat. "I said I wouldn't cry and I can't cry now that your okay because I'm happy therefore stop being a pussy."

I sniffed and looked down. "I wish I would've talked to you a long time ago Y/n. I missed out on so many opportunities because I was scared and yeah, I do want to die happy it just feels selfish to knowingly let someone- you love me when I could leave just like that."

"Hey," she tilted my head up. "You didn't let me do anything. Nobody chooses who they love and hate, trust me that would make life soooo much simpler but, that's just not reality. The reality is that you're never going to know what'll happen next, and there's so much shit in life that's out of our control like deaths, love, diseases. You can't make people not love you just like you can't guarantee that you won't hurt those that you love," she shrugged. "It's the circle of life baby, why try to disrupt things?"

I nodded and smirked slightly. "What you said really hit deep but, I'm more impressed with the fact that you didn't start singing."

She groaned and leaned down resting her head on my thigh. "Fuck I needed so much self-control not to ruin the moment."

We both laughed and she sighed.

"So, everything's established, right? You're going to start living your life yeah?" She gazed up at me with a slight smile.

Start living my life huh?

"Yeah, that sounds nice."

"Good," she bit her lip. "One thing bothering me though."

"What's up?" I placed my hand on her neck.

"There no treatment you can go through?"

I shook my head. "I had a few surgeries when I was younger and I still have them occasionally but, the only treatment is exercise and keeping my heart healthy."

She nodded and shut her eyes. "Right."

I ran my fingers through her hair and smiled softly.

It's crazy, I spent all my life dreading love and death and then some girl named Y/n comes in and makes it all better in fifteen minutes...

"You know, we should make you a bucket list."

I hummed. "That sounds like a good idea."

She smiled and opened one eye. "Yeah, so I was thinking the first thing you could do is ask Vanessa if we could fuck-"

"Y/n-"

She sat up. "No hear me out," she bit her lip trying to hold back the smile. "Since we used to date but never fucked- ohhhh made love." She pointed and nodded as the smile on my face continued to grow. "Since we never made love you can ask her if we can just so you can then say you fucked a God/Goddess."

I laughed and shook my head. "That sounds like a great thing for a bucket list because after I ask her, she'll most likely kill me."

Y/n chuckled. "It's for a good cause- know what just sleep on it yeah?"

I hummed. "I'll think long and hard about it."

She smirked. "Ohhh pun intended?"

I laughed. "Shut up."

She smiled. "Keep laughing Summer."

I smiled and nodded. "As long as you stay around I shouldn't have a problem with that."

"Obviously," she chuckled and reached over grabbing the carton of ice cream. "Can you eat ice cream?"

"Hell yeah," I scooted over. "Come here."

...Maybe all I needed was a friend to love me as much as I love them. Maybe all I needed was...Y/n.

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