《Her Name Is Havoc》An excerpt from Caroline's journals
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Let me tell you about love. About the feeling of warmth and tranquility that floods your senses when you're loved. When someone holds on to you just because they want to. They need to. Not because you're family or because you've got common interests. But because they love you. Love is when you sleep at night feeling safe. No matter how far this person is from you, you know you're protected. You trust in that person for whatever cause. You're devoted to this before even knowing it. Love is when all your priorities shift and he/she becomes on top every single time. When "I" no matter makes sense to you because all you want to hear is "We". When you give love not because you have to but because you want to. Love is him, wrapping me in a blanket and kissing the tips of my fingers to keep them warm without even noticing his shivering body. Love is him, listening to all the nonsense I babble about continuously with a broad smile that does things to my heart. Love is him just because he is.
I fell in love with the most astounding man this earth has ever carried. A man who loved no matter what. A man who cared enough that I no longer had to. A man who tells me I am beautiful every single time he lays eyes on me, even when I am a mess and I know it. Less than half a year ago I believed not of love. It wasn't crude so it hasn't to be real. It is funny how twisty can one's plot be. I am not just in love with him. I am madly in love. It's crazy. The way his voice summon a lump in my chest that doesn't go away until our fingers knot. And I wonder how! How can this feel so physical? What's happening to me? But I just come up with nothing but that I want more. I want my heart to beat faster and my palms to sweat heavier. I want to stutter when he's too close and I want my chest to swell when he takes my hand to cross the street. All those teenage, silly romance feels good. I know I am too old to feel so but it's innate. We were made to feel this way. And I love it. I love him.
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You proposed to me today, Justin, and I said I'll be your wife. I told you I was the happiest woman on earth, but there were things that you should know about me first. I told you that you might change your mind. And you asked if it has anything to do with us, and, when I said no, you said you don't care then. You said you will love me forever and beyond. You said you just want me to be with you for the rest of your life and that nothing else matters. And I was the happiest I've ever been. I said yes without a second thought, but I never told you why so. Here's why so, Justin Drill. The five main reasons why I want to be your wife:
1) You make me happy all the time. It's like a super power that you emit with no effort.
2) You're totally considerate and understanding. You never pressure me to do or say anything, and I appreciate it loads.
3) With you I am always safe. I have no fears. No anxiety. Nothing. My head and heart are in peace.
4) I am madly, unconditionally, helplessly, deeply in love with you.
5) And most importantly, you make me soup.
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