《No Filter x Serial Dating》Right Swipe, Baby
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reecss was a no-show the next day at Starbucks, which was weird, because Gon was such a religious regular that even Killua's consistent coworkers commented on it. They had all grown used to the same faces coming in around the same time every day—there was the guy with green hair that was now blue, the biochemical engineer girl with square glasses, the runner that came by every morning fifteen minutes after open, and then there was Gon Freecss.
The day before, Killua had strategically busied himself in the backroom for the duration of Gon's stop at Starbucks. But now, he was curious to see what Gon would do next.
Gon's missing person case, however, gave Killua enough fuel to make his decision.
So what if they didn't date? Killua didn't have the time or the attention span to dedicate to a longterm partner anyhow. Considering his debt which Gon was now blatantly made aware of, Killua would feel guilty for dragging that into a relationship anyway. If the relationship went well, whoever it was with, and he got married... he didn't want his partner to pay for his shitty medical school bills. He'd be in school for another eight years, anyway.
And he had fun just fucking with Freecss without consequence. Why did he have to get his panties in a twist about Freecss dating other people? If anything, it was a blessing and a stress-reliever for Killua.
He'd be the same before and after Gon Freecss. They didn't have to be permanent.
With this decision made, Killua went to OChem more hopeful and more awake than he had been the past week. He beat Zushi and Kurapika to the lecture hall at which point he checked his phone, his thumb nail between his teeth as he saw a notification from Snapchat.
18m ago 🏈🤼♂️ is typing...
17m ago from🏈🤼♂️
14:13 You think I could fit an entire pancake into my mouth?
14:30 Excuse me but what?
14:31 Like, an entire pancake would it fit into my mouth
14:32 You're a hazard to society
14:32 And a coward. Two pancakes, easily.
14:34 You have so much faith in me
14:34 So just hypothetically speaking I could probably deep throat
14:35 I don't know what life you live don't ask me
14:35 You know your dick better than I do
14:37 So are we now talking about deep throating MY 🍆 specifically?
14:37 is typing...
14:38 Since when did we go from pancakes to 🍆???
14:39 It was on my mind
14:40 Of course it was
14:40 So what's the truth deep throat or not???
14:41 I don't know the stats of your throat dude
14:41 Class is starting soon
14:42 To 🍆 or not to 🍆?
14:42 I swear to God, Freecss
14:43 🍆🤲🧐???
14:44 Imma bout to rage karate chop you in the goddamn scrotum
Killua shut off his phone and ignored how it buzzed in his pocket all through lecture. Zushi glanced at him in the middle of class when it vibrated nonstop for a solid few seconds, and Killua pointedly stared ahead and ignored the call and Zushi's stares. He crossed his arms and sat back in his seat as their professor put a video up on the projector and dimmed the lights.
At the end of class, Kurapika's prediction was correct. Somehow, Killua survived the pop quiz feeling more or less dejected about his chances of scoring higher than 50%. When he left class, he handed in his paper and waited for Zushi at the entrance to the lecture hall.
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When the lecture hall door opened and Zushi stepped out, Killua pushed off of the brick wall and wandered over. Zushi pinned him with a finger to the chest and said, "Mind catching me up on the latest?"
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Tell me why Gon is already planning his outfit for tomorrow night? He never plans ahead."
"What makes you think I know?"
"Maybe because he keeps wondering if it'll match whatever you wear like we're going to prom or something?" Zushi said. Killua rolled his eyes and laughed nervously. He sounded giddy, like he was two seconds away from twirling his hair around his finger. Zushi shoved him in the arm as they staggered out of the building.
Killua threw his head back laughing and waved his hands dismissively. "Nothing! I swear on my life. He didn't even come into my work today."
"Wait, really?" Zushi said. Killua nodded, but Zushi fell behind. Killua slowed to a stop and turned around to find Zushi standing there, staring at him. Zushi put a hand to his chin, brow furrowed. He opened his mouth to say something, thought better of it, and slowly said, "But... this morning he said he had plans to see someone. I just... I thought it was you."
Killua blinked. He bit his lip as Zushi stared him down, concern taking over his expression. Killua shrugged dismissively, but that only caused Zushi to reach for his arm. "It's not a big deal," Killua said, shaking his head.
"But—I thought you two were—?"
"We aren't anything," Killua insisted, turning away. Zushi still had him by the sleeve of his high-collared sweatshirt. He tugged a hand against the collar, unsure why he felt embarrassed that Zushi know. He didn't care with Kurapika, but Zushi was different. Zushi was Gon's roommate. "I'm serious. I'm not... It doesn't bother me."
He could see Zushi staring at him from the corner of his eye. He put a hand up to scratch at his hairline as he sighed and insisted again, "Freecss and I... I don't think it's gonna happen. I can handle myself with fuckboys, all right?"
"Yeah, but I just... guess I wanted to think that Gon was better than a fuckboy," Zushi confessed with a pout.
"I mean, the guy is in a frat."
"I know..."
"And he wears salmon pants."
"I know... He's so fuckboy material. I don't know why I didn't think about it before."
Killua shrugged. "Guess serial monogamist is just a euphemism then," he said. Zushi laughed and Killua smiled as he clapped Zushi on the shoulder. They were just outside of the gym then, so Killua gave Zushi a squeeze and said, "I'll see you later. We should get some shit done tomorrow."
"Yes, agreed," Zushi said.
As Killua climbed the steps to the gym doors, he glanced over his shoulder to watch Zushi walk off towards Ren Hall. He hooked his thumbs on his backpack straps as he spun back around and pushed into the facility.
He scanned his card and hurried down past the free weights. He hadn't told Gon that he planned on stopping by the gym, or that he ever even agreed to keep going with this gym buddy bullshit. If he was going to commit himself to Not Caring, by God, he'd handle this shit like a pro.
Killua backed into the locker room and spun around, striding with confidence to the far aisle where he could hear a locker slamming shut. When he turned the corner, he intercepted Freecss himself with his eyes on his smartwatch. When they nearly collided, Gon jumped and looked up, saying, "Sorry, I—Killua!"
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Killua startled when Gon's voice cracked in surprise. Gon cleared his throat and shook his head, alarmed. "What're you—? I thought—?"
"Changed my mind," he said. He glanced back at Gon's closed locker, hesitating to take his backpack off. He dragged his eyes back to Gon, who was staring at him with wide, amber eyes. "If... that's okay?"
Gon's shock dissolved into a bright smile. He nodded quickly and said, "Yeah, definitely. I'll just wait here for you."
Gon took a seat at the end of the bench. Killua shrugged his backpack off and went to one of the tall lockers next to Gon's. The unused lockers were left unlocked until the keypad was activated, so Killua typed in a random code and saved it before pulling his gym clothes out from his backpack. He stuffed the rest into the locker and started unbuttoning his work shirt.
He glanced back at Gon, who he caught turning away.
Gon looked at his hands, his back to Killua. He cleared his throat. "So, um, what made you change your mind?" he asked.
Killua slipped his arms out of his shirt and folded it up into his locker as he said, "Figured I can't fault you for being an idiot."
When he looked again, Gon's eyes were back on him. Killua rolled his eyes and undid the button on his jeans, toeing off his shoes. "Zushi mentioned you were seeing someone today? A date or something?"
He was met with silence. He tugged his jeans down and ignored the way he shivered the longer Gon stayed silent. The locker room wasn't cold, necessarily, but Killua felt rigid, frosting over so that every movement was jerky as he jumped into his sweats and snapped the elastic waistband on.
When he ducked down to tie his shoes, Gon slid over on the bench, inching closer. He was on his phone and, when Killua sat to put his other shoe on, Gon held his phone out.
Killua frowned at the app he had open. It was his calendar, the same one he had screenshot and sent Killua a week before. This time, though, there was an extra color that colored a red stripe across the days of the month. Killua squinted at it, realizing it was the time he slotted for visiting Starbucks.
Each one had a name.
"I know I have a problem," Gon said.
Killua looked up and stared at the lockers ahead of him. He remembered what Zushi had said about Gon being a serial monogamist. It so went beyond that.
"You're..." Killua started, unsure how to word it.
Gon put a hand to his head, leaning over his knees as he groaned, "I'm addicted to Tinder. I started using it over the summer. Knuckle helped me make an account and I have dates blocked out through November."
"Jesus," Killua breathed. "Can't you cancel them?"
Gon glanced over at him. Killua snapped his mouth shut and shook his head quickly. Yet another statement that slipped past his filter. "Never mind. Ignore me," he said, grabbing his cutoff t-shirt. "It's your life, dude. I don't give a shit."
"I just... can't break off shit over text or on the phone," Gon said, shaking his head. He leant back on the bench with a long, pained sigh. "I don't have social anxiety, but shit like that... I physically can't do it. It's why I set up dates to meet up as soon as I start talking to people. You can't get the full story of someone over text, you know?"
"Yeah, I get that," Killua said. His head emerged from the shirt and he stood to slam his locker shut. "Can't say I've ever seen the appeal of Tinder, though."
Gon stared at him, frozen on the bench as Killua walked ahead to leave the locker room. He paused at the end of the aisle to look back at Gon, who scrambled to his feet and all but screamed, "You've never used Tinder before?!"
Killua stared at him in alarm. He startled when Gon came at him, lunging over the bench, and cruising up as he said, "Give me your phone right now. We're making you an account."
An incomprehensible squeak came out of Killua's mouth when Gon assaulted him to yank his phone out of his pocket. Killua staggered, disoriented, as he said, "Y-You're just saying that because you're the one addicted to it!"
Gon took Killua by the hand. As Killua was shookening about that, Gon took the opportunity to press Killua's thumb to the finger ID button on his phone to unlock it. Thoroughly frazzled, Gon dragged Killua towards the locker room exit, saying, "Today we're doing core. I'll take care of your profile for you."
"O-Okay, but—" Killua started, only to curse when Gon pushed him from behind, urging him to lead the way to the second floor of the gym. And then, as if Killua wasn't already wiped out by the climb, Gon set him to work at the far, remote corner of the gym where Killua could die in semi-peace.
They stretched together, arms over their heads with Gon holding Killua's phone in front of him as Tinder loaded. When at long last it was open, Killua relayed his email and suggested password, a little out of breath from doing lunges across the length of the windows overlooking the campus.
On the rubbery ground, Gon put his legs out in front of him and touched Killua's phone to the tops of his shoes, completely folded over his thighs. Killua could barely touch his shins without wanting to die. It was at this point that Gon asked, "Age?"
"Eighteen," Killua answered.
Gon put that in, muttering under his breath, "Male... Gender preference?"
"Men, eighteen to twenty-one," he said.
Gon leant back and spread his legs wide, borderline doing the splits. Killua rolled his eyes away to keep from staring as Gon put his forearms to the rubber mat, idly tapping away at Killua's profile. "Have you dated before?"
"Is that one of the questions?" Killua asked.
Gon shook his head. "Nah, just curious."
Killua shrugged and that was that.
"Is there anything specific you want in your bio? Otherwise I'll just make it plain and simple," Gon said.
"Literate sci-fi junkies only," Killua said with a grunt, reaching as far as he could so his fingers hooked on the edge of the mat. "Death becomes me."
"'Dead... inside... Please... open...'"
"I swear to God, Freecss," Killua snarled, trying to reach for the phone, but Gon held it out of his proximity. Thankfully, Gon erased the sexy, edgy Walking Dead reference in favor of the following sentence that Gon held out to get Killua's approval of:
"'Just a small-town boy looking for enlightenment, chocolate, and the next space opera,'" Killua read aloud. He hummed, genuinely impressed. "You've nailed the memes, the sweets, and the sci-fi. It works."
"Really?" Gon said, all but glowing. He checked his watch and said, "Okay, planks for two minutes."
"Planks?" Killua repeated. Gon stared at him, his phone slipping a little from Gon's hands.
"You don't... Christ, I really am surrounded by amateurs," Gon sighed, getting up onto his knees.
Killua laughed and said, "Yeah, no shit. What do you think I meant when I said I've never set foot in a gym?"
Planks, as it turned out, were invented by the Devil as a hellish torture device to bring mankind to their knees. Killua could barely make it through thirty seconds, and at the twenty second mark, he thought his soul had left his body, sucked into the unforgiving earth two floors below. Gon was on his elbows, back perfectly straight and legs even straighter. He had Killua's phone between his hands, checking the time on his watch, as he said, "So I'm looking through your photos."
"Jesus Christ," Killua cursed, arms shaking. He put his forehead to his fists where he had them clasped together in front of him.
"Your profile picture on Facebook is pretty okay... I'm gonna use that and then I've enlisted Zushi's help. He's sent me a screenshot he took of you on Snapchat." Gon held out the phone for Killua to see. Killua dropped his stomach onto the mat with a gasp, panting as he stared at the photo of himself. It was a profile view of him during the golden hour, the sunset making his eyes crystal clear and shining blue. He looked like a pale, pale Asian angel.
He swallowed hard and said, "Y-Yeah, sounds good."
Gon cropped out the caption he had had on the photo and stuck it onto Killua's profile. He pulled another from Facebook, and Killua, foregoing the next minute and a half of planks, came to watch from over Gon's shoulder. He watched as Gon saved a photo of Killua during a vacation he and his family took the previous summer for Killua's senior graduation present. They went hiking in the Alps in Switzerland, and the photo of choice was a full body shot of Killua in the sun with the snowy mountains as a backdrop.
Gon sifted through the three photos before saving the profile. "Great. So now we get to look at other peoples' profiles and decide if we like them or not."
"'We'?" Killua said. Gon seemed to realize the error there, and as he tensed, Killua took the chance to steal his phone back.
He sat crosslegged beside Gon, he craned over to watch as Killua went to the main screen of Tinder. It wasn't that he particularly wanted to, but he had to admit, he was a bit fascinated. The entire concept of rating humans and judging profiles evoked some dark, narcissistic part of him that urged him to begin looking.
Gon was explaining which way to swipe. Killua ixnayed the first guy, which brought a new face to the screen that stopped Killua in his tracks.
Gon scrambled up with a gasp. Killua jumped at the sound, his hand stilled over a very familiar face and a very new sense of dismay. Beneath his thumb, at the whim of Killua's mood, was Knuckle Bine.
"Swipe left!" Gon cried.
"Does that mean I don't like him?" Killua squeaked. Gon paused the timer on his watch before reaching over to do it for Killua, who yanked his phone out of Gon's reach.
Gon stared at him and, likewise, Killua stared back. He was shocked that he was suddenly so defensive of Knuckle Bine's profile. Knuckle Bine, yet another famous face on campus. He didn't realize that Knuckle was bi, or even gay, but alas, there they were on opposite sides of Tinder.
Gon still had his hand out, almost threateningly. "Don't—" Gon started.
Killua rolled away from him to read the profile in peace. He stiff-armed Gon when he tried to stop Killua from reading.
"'Knuckle, 21. Fun loving dork with a penchant for playing ball (of the football variety). Ask me about my tattoo,'" he read aloud. He turned back to Gon, who was on his hands and knees behind Killua. Killua's hand was a few inches from his face, so Killua dropped his hand to see Gon's expression of pure shock. "He has a tattoo?"
"Please left swipe him, I beg you," Gon said. He clasped his hands together like he was praying.
Killua looked back at Knuckle's smiley face on the profile. It looked like a professional photo, taken of him as he was laughing with those cheeky dimples bracketing his smile. His skin was incredibly tan in the photo, so Killua had to assume that it was taken just last summer.
He right-swiped Knuckle.
The screen went dark and Killua's profile picture popped up next to Knuckle's. "It's a match!"
"What does that mean?" Killua said, holding it up to Gon.
Gon was inexplicably wordless for a hot second. After a few seconds, he sat back on his heels and rubbed the back of his hand, more confused than anything. "He already...? That—That just means he swiped right on you, too."
Killua pointed a finger to his chest and said, "He liked my profile?"
Gon nodded, brow furrowed.
"So now what?"
"Now you can... message him, I guess?" Gon said, slowly. He came to sit beside Killua as Killua opened up his DMs with thee Knuckle Bine.
17:23 Inquiring about your tattoo.
17:23 Image attachment
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