—Meghan O'Rourke

Life has this dizzying—yet strangely methodical—way of waiting for the perfect moment to shatter your plans. I guess, in a way, it's just like some erratically unpredictable weather patterns. You can't always know what's coming, leaving you at the mercy of the fickle sky.

Take a sunny day, for instance. At first, the harmless, pleasant sun might lead a more naïve version of yourself to believe that lovely things can be permanent. It's easy to get swept up in the enchanting beauty of everything that the light touches, and grow used to the surrounding warmth.

But clear, blue skies can, and often do, turn to gray—with little to no warning at all. Soon enough, the air shifts and the dust storm moves in, tarnishing the very environment that you never thought could be marred.

You might find solace in the fact that, over time, gravity does its job of settling the dirt. You'll look around and start to recognize familiar fixtures again. It will almost feel like a return to normalcy... that is, until you begin to actually believe that everything will perfectly fall back into place.

Exactly then, is when the all-encompassing tornado appears on the darkening horizon—approaching too quickly for you to adequately act upon its impending danger.

When the time comes, all you can do is hope, and try to hold on tightly enough to make it through to another day. Every second feels as though the blustering winds will tear your limbs away from the insufficient—almost pathetic—safety of whatever shelter you might be able to find in the darkness.

I wasn't prepared for, nor could I have ever imagined, the perilous storm that Julian Miles would bring into my life.

He gave me the brightest of days, brilliantly illuminating the world in new colors that were so unusually vivid, I was sure they had no names.

He also gave me the darkest of days, casting shadows upon the wilting roots, with overwhelming gusts of wind whipping my tender skin.

Navigating him was driving over hills in a thick, misty, overpowering fog.

Rayless.

Directionless.

Spine chilling.

But if I had to do it all over again, I'd still choose to stand out in the pelting downpour, as long as necessary, in order to reach another cloudless day with him.

It can be absolutely unnerving to realize you're no longer in control of your life, and even more terrifying to find out what it takes to return to the driver's seat. But don't let go of the wheel, even when you're stricken with worry.

What starts off as simple and beautiful can quickly take a nosedive into the murkiest depths. You'd better hope your fingernails are strong enough to dig into the pavement, and climb the concrete water-well back up to contentment.

But he was always worth the fight. Every breathtaking, or excruciating, moment of it.

See, it wasn't always flowers and sunshine. But then again, that's not us.

is us.

1. "Lost Boy" (cover) by Travis Atreo

2. "Eyes Wide Open" by Tony Anderson