—Jane Austen

After cursing at my laptop for the extra long start-up process, I finally logged on to see Julian was already there, waiting for me. I debated with myself on whether I should talk to him first, when an instant message popped up before me.

Hey, sorry I didn't get on sooner.

Yes.

Julian requested the video conference, and as soon as I hit accept, connection noises were blaring through my laptop speakers. I quickly turned the volume down and grabbed a pair of purple headphones.

It was taking longer than usual to connect, so I put the headphones over my ears and plugged them in, ready and waiting. The butterflies in my stomach would not ease, even as I took a slow, deep breath.

Finally, the screen went black before illuminating a box with Julian's perfect face inside of it. For a moment, my stomach fell to the ground.

"Well hello there, beautiful." Julian smiled, tongue slightly between his teeth.

"Hello yourself." What a stupid response. I wanted to smack my own forehead. He made me so nervous that I could hardly think straight.

I could see him from the chest up. Julian was wearing a navy blue t-shirt, with the sleeves rolled up to his shoulders, and his messy, golden-tinted, brown hair looked darker on the screen than it did in person. It sprawled across the skin of his forehead in wisps and loose curls. His eyes narrowed as he grinned, with his jaw showing more stubble than I remembered.

The tour bus, he said, was parked in a huge open lot, behind the hotel where they were staying for the next two days. Excitedly, he carried his laptop around the bus, showing me everything inside.

Julian's bunk was the neatest, followed by Devon's, then Tommy's, Mason's, and Jesse's. In the main area of the bus, there was a comfortable looking, beige couch. Julian turned the webcam to show more reclining seats, two small televisions with video game hookups, and a kitchen area littered with half-eaten bags of snacks.

"It's amazing how they can make it feel so much like a home. That bus is beautiful," I remarked in awe. I had never seen anything like it—a true masterpiece on wheels. It looked more comfortable than my small apartment.

"Please don't take this as me showing off." Julian laughed. "This coach is just as amazing to me, as it is to you. That's why I was excited to show it to you! It's just surreal! I don't think I could ever grow accustomed to this."

"I love how humble you are," I said it before my brain could edit my words.

Julian flashed me a big smile. "I love how genuine you are."

"How can you tell I am?"

"I just can." Julian smiled again, this time with color reaching his cheeks. "I'm great at reading people."

"Is that so?" I teased him, moving a loose strand of hair out of my face. I was a terrible flirt.

"It is. I've been to quite a few countries around the world in the last year, and I have met a ton of people. But you, Brooke," Julian looked down and to the side for a moment, before returning his eyes to the screen. "You're different. I don't think you know how special you are."

I felt my own face reddening at his words.

"Julian." My pulse quickened. "I've been meaning to ask you something, I just don't know how to go about it. You know, without it being awkward."

"You can ask me anything," Julian stated, matter-of-factly.

"I love talking to you, I really do. I love getting to know you. I love your jokes. I love your kind words. I've just never done anything... like this before. I don't know what this is, and I'm not sure what I can offer you. Is there something you want from me? Am I missing something?" I almost instantly regretted asking.

"Brooke, all I want from you is your company." Julian's voice was lower now, with a twinge of sadness in his tone. "I find it hard to trust anyone, I always have, but for some reason unbeknownst to me, I trust you. This quirky, beautiful, shy, intelligent American girl that I had the pleasure of spending some time with recently."

When I couldn't respond, he continued, "And the more I learn about you, the more I want to know. The more I need to know. I guess what I really want is to see if I can keep you in my life, in some way. I don't normally do what... well, what we did. So, this is new for me, too."

I felt the sharp knife of jealousy lodge into my lower stomach and twist at the thought of Julian sharing himself with anyone else. Immediately, I realized how irrational I was being. No matter how lovely all of this was with Julian, I had no claims on him. Not even close.

"As long as you don't feel like you owe it to me, to stay in touch, or something." My voice was noticeably meeker.

"What? Brooke, no. I absolutely love talking to you," he promised, straight-faced. "And I need somebody like you in my life. If I'm not overstepping my boundaries by saying this, I get the impression you need somebody, too. Maybe somebody like me. Somebody that—"

Julian's head lifted up, and just then, I heard voices... growing louder as they approached.

"Hey, lads," Julian said, looking up. "How was the Bellagio?"

"Hey, Jules! The buffet was brilliant! You should've seen the mounds of grub I piled onto my plate," I heard Tommy say. "What are you doing?"

"I'm just... having a chat," Julian said, glancing back at the screen again to smile at me.

"To who?" Jesse's voice was louder, and higher pitched, than the rest of the guys.

"I bet it's that girl from Tucson," Devon chimed in. I could not see any of them yet, but I recognized their distinct voices.

"Hey now, stop teasing him. She was a very nice girl," Mason said, out of sight.

"It is actually," Julian called over. "And Devon, she has a name."

"Okay, sorry, tiger," Devon said, his voice closer this time. "We were just coming back to see if you wanted to head down the strip. Check things out, yeah? Or do you want to sit in your bunk all day on your computer like a nerd?"

"Yeah, you lads go on ahead without me, and I'll catch up with you in a bit," Julian said, unperturbed.

"What now?" Julian looked up again.

"I just want to say hello, if I may?" I heard Mason say.

Julian sighed and turned his screen to his left, where Mason stood. I could only see his legs in black skinny jeans, so he squatted down to bring his face into view when Julian wouldn't adjust the screen himself.

"Hello, Brooke!" Mason's dimples deepened with his warm smile. His hair was longer than Julian's, hitting just above his shoulders, and I admired how his dark brown curls framed his bright green eyes and squared jawline.

"It's good to 'see you' again." Mason used air quotes and I laughed at his bad joke.

"Like my shirt?" Mason looked down to admire his new, fern green tee with written across the front. It nicely complemented his eyes.

"I do like it." I chuckled. "I see you guys are enjoying your time in Nevada."

The screen quickly moved back to Julian and he mouthed an apology. "Alright now, enough getting chummy. You've said hello, so off you go!" Julian told Mason. He almost seemed bashful.

"Have a good evening, Brooke!" Mason said, from out of view. "And whatever you're doing, keep doing it! I've never seen this lad so happy before." Mason's hand patted Julian's shoulder.

"Are you quite finished?" Julian grinned at his friend.

A silent exchange occurred and then there was quiet on the bus again.

"I'm sorry about that." Julian focused on me, while adjusting the pillow behind his back. "Where were we? Oh, hey, you never told me about your interview."

I told him all about the Tucson Telegram, and apologized again for sending that photo on accident.

"I hope you don't mind, but I've saved it." Julian ran a hand through his hair, pushing it back. "It definitely had an effect on me."

His words in my ears made my skin burn and sting, like coming into a warm room after being outside in the snow all day. "Of course, you can keep the picture."

"Don't worry, I'm not going to go all perv on you." Julian chuckled. "You should just know how gorgeous you are. That's all."

Despite his surroundings, in this light, Julian seemed completely normal. It was easier to see him like this, without the cloud of stardom creating a barrier between us.

There were no strobes.

No amplifiers.

No crowds.

It was just me and him, talking in a bedroom and on a bus respectively. He was just... Julian. And I had never felt more comfortable opening up to someone, not even Laina or Caleb or my mom. Even through our screens, this was more of an intimate connection than I could've ever experienced with anyone else.

It was so easy with Julian.

We talked about the big things—our influences and our goals. Julian wanted to be played on the radio, and do a worldwide, headlining tour. He had dreams of one day selling out stadiums, instead of being the opening act at smaller arenas. Still, I heard the sincerity in his voice as he spoke of his gratitude for every opportunity he had received thus far.

We talked about the little things, too, and found that we both liked our coffee with extra sugar and cream.

I stifled my laughs as Julian rambled on about his favorite soccer players, but he refused to use the word "soccer." To refer to it as such was simply blasphemous in his eyes. No, it was football to him. Real football.

He asked me where I would most like to visit, any place in the world, and I answered the Maldives. Julian playfully said that he would take me there someday.

Mostly, we agreed on lots of things, with the only exception being books. I praised Fahrenheit 451 whereas Julian refused to budge on his love for Brave New World. But, when I raised the topic of school, Julian seemed more nervous. I took the hint, and asked him to recommend me some songs. He happily linked me to his current playlist—full of Foo Fighters, Rush, Coldplay, and The Beatles.

"This is mad, isn't it?" Julian asked with a glint in his russet eyes.

"What's mad?" I asked him, truly curious.

"The two of us, meeting here... at this intangible place." One corner of his mouth turned up in a smile, in an attempt to lighten the weight of his words. "Through cables and signals and satellites, we've created an imperceptible meeting ground. Nobody knows it's there, except us, in a way. Our own little secret place in space."

"I don't think it's mad at all." I swallowed hard. "I like our little secret place."

"I do, too." His voice—like warm velvet—deepened as he continued. "It's easy to forget sometimes, when you stare at buzzing screens, that there's someone on the other side of it."

"I won't forget," I promised him.

"Neither will I, Brooke." And somehow, I knew we weren't only talking about our intangible meeting spot anymore.

...

We didn't realize just how many hours we had spent talking on our cameras until Julian's phone started ringing at 1:00 a.m. He excused himself to answer Devon, and when he returned, Julian looked disappointed.

"I'm sorry, Brooke, but if I don't go and meet the lads soon, they're just going to come back here and interrupt again. Except this time, they'll be pissed and relentless. So, I'm going to find Nick and we are going to head out for a bit."

"Oh, no problem! I hope you have fun... Please be safe," I added.

"Always. Nick has my back, so not to worry. Thank you for this. It was kind of like our first date, or something." He laughed and shifted uncomfortably. "I hope we can do this again soon."

"I'd love to." I was sure my goofy smile spread ear-to-ear. "Well... goodnight, Julian."

"Goodnight, Brooke." Julian waved at the lens and blew a kiss before disconnecting.

When I was sure he couldn't see me anymore, I happily screamed into my pillowcase and kicked my feet against the covers. I felt like a school girl with a crush for the very first time. Just the thought of him made my pulse spike and dive.

Whatever was going on between us, it was too late to stop it now.

Although I had spent most of the night staring at Julian, and he only just left, I missed seeing his face already. I longed to see his remarkably pigmented eyes light up in animated excitement when talking about sports, or books, or anything really.

I missed his accented, throaty voice and use of beautifully unfamiliar sounding words.

Essentially, I just missed him.

1. "Little Things" (piano cover) by Nuetful

2. "Can't Help Falling in Love with You" (cover) by Rusty Clanton