Drip Drip Drip

Were the first noises registered in the girl's mind. The 9 year old was confused of where the noise was coming from and why she couldn't see. All she could see was darkness. Every time she gathered up strength to open her eyes, they remained closed. She couldn't feel anything, physically or emotionally. 'Maybe this was a good thing' she thought. No more pain from her father's beatings, no more pain from the words he called her, she felt free.

Shuffling feet could be heard from the girl. She wondered how she ended up like this.

"She's having a seizure." A panicked voice she heard in the distance.

The small girl had no idea what was going on, she could feel nothing. She couldn't remember how or why she got here. She couldn't even remember her name.

In the next few seconds, all she registered was pain. Her head was aching, legs were throbbing, and her ribs tingling in discomfort. The more she lay in the hospital bed, the more she suffered in agony.

Her eyes peeled open, viewing the bland hospital room she was in. Doctors and nurses surrounded her bed with sorrowful expressions resting on them.

"How are you feeling sweetheart?" A feminine voice asked with a doctors' coat around her body.

She couldn't express the way she was feeling, she shook her head in indication that she wasn't feeling well.

"Do you remember what happened?" The sweet woman asked. The little girl shook her head once again.

"Do you remember anything?" Question after question, the answer remained no.

"Do you remember your father?"

Rayland remembered her father, but she didn't want to remember him. He was a cruel man, as soon as her mother and brother left, he got worse. It started with insults here and there but alcohol changed him for the worst. He started to hit her every chance he got, sober or not. Tears filled her eyes at the thought of him. Rayland couldn't remember her name but she could remember the monster that put her through hell these two years.

She nodded yes and the nurse had a sad smile on her face.

"I'm sorry sweetheart, he passed on impact." 'Impact?' she wondered. Rayland was more relieved that her father was dead than happy. Others in the room didn't bother to hide their surprise when the girl didn't react to the news.

"Why can't I remember what happened?" She asked in a cracked, dry voice.

"Well you have selective amnesia, it's a type of amnesia in which you lose certain parts of your memory. Relationships, where you live, abilities in certain areas, people, or traumatic events." The doctor explains.

"Mommy look. It's a picture of me, and Ry, and Mommy, and Daddy." I held the picture up to her face and looked at it in awe.

"Oh, it's wonderful sweetie. Let's go hang it on the fridge." she replied.

I nod vigorously as she leads me towards the kitchen.

"Daddy, daddy, daddy, look at my picture." I yelled at my dad.

"It's nice honey." Dad said with a forced smile on his face but I was too excited to notice Mom and Dad glaring at each other.

"I have to show Ry." I ran upstairs to show him.

"Ry, come down so you can see my picture."

"Okay, I'm coming."

As promised, he comes down seconds later and looks at my picture.

"Wow, I love it Liv." He always calls me Liv or Livvy because my middle name is Olivia.

"Thanks, Ollie." I sometimes called him Ollie because his middle name is Oliver.

We were interrupted by the sound of glass breaking from the living room.

It's hard to think that life can be ripped away from you at any second and there's not a thing you can do about it. It's even worse to think it can happen to others just as quickly. If you die, at least you're at peace, but when people die around you, you have to deal with the pain that you gain with their loss.

Another thing that can be ripped away is happiness.

Would anybody care if I died?

The answer is no. Nobody would care.

"Nobody would even care if you were lying 6-feet underground."

That statement hurt so much more than any kick or punch, because words leave mental scars in your mind. Physical scars heal, mental scars don't. They could never fully heal without another one opening up. Every insult or harsh word directed toward me, would stab another dagger in my heart. The heart could only take so much before it gives out.

Something was missing from my life.

You mean literally most of your memory.

No, not that.

I always felt there was a void that could never be filled. It can only be filled by one person but I don't even remember them. My brother.

I don't really remember him. I only had a few memories of him that wouldn't leave my mind even if I tried.

Does he care about me, does he remember me, did he forget about me? All these questions swirling around in my head but one always stuck out.

Where is he?

Meanwhile...

Does she care about me, does she remember me, did she forget about me? All these questions swirling around in my head but one always stuck out.

Where is she?

My sister was the light in the darkness that surrounded me. The noise in a quiet room. The color in a black and white image.

I always tried to protect her from what was going on. The arguing, fighting, anything that I didn't want her to see but she was a curious yet smart child. She could tell when people were lying or hiding something.

Mom never told me the real reason we left but I knew it was because of Raymond. I had seen first-hand how he treated Mom and it was disgusting. I always knew my father was a despicable man that treated his wife and son like shit. Rayland had always been her dad's little princess; another reason Mom decided to take me and not her.

I think about Ray everyday, Mom cut all contact with Raymond since the day we left but it killed me how I couldn't be a part of my own sister's life.

Just thinking about how she's doing without me brings tears to my eyes. She could be dead for all I know.

"Whatcha thinking about kiddo?" Mom interrupts as she sets a plate of food in front of me.

"Ray." I vaguely answered knowing she would understand how I felt. She looked at me with a sad smile.

"Ry, you have to understand that-" I cut her off.

"How am I supposed to understand when you won't tell me anything?" I screamed at her immediately feeling guilty. "I'm sorry, I just- I just miss her so much." I said as tears threatened to fall.

I was soon in my mother's warm embrace.

"You'll see her soon, before you know it."

Soon will never be soon enough.

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1323 Words [Edited]

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