Content Warning: Mentions and Description of Sexual Assult

I looked down at my phone to see it was 9 pm. I was finishing my makeup when there was a knock on my door.

"Come in." I stood up to look at myself in the mirror. I decided to wear my red dress that had been sitting in my closet forever, never worn. It was a silky, thigh-length dress that hugged my figure a little more than I liked. I was matching it with my black flats.

I turned around to see Clay standing in my doorway leaning against the frame. He was wearing a pair of dark jeans and a white t-shirt.

"That's what you're wearing?" I asked.

"That's what YOU are wearing?" Pointing at me.

"What? You don't like it? Should I change?" I was always insecure about myself, especially my figure. People always focused on it when I was growing up and now I couldn't look in a mirror without judging myself like they did.

He shot up to standing straight. "No no. You look good. I just... thought it would more casual."

"You're right. I should change." I started to pull off the straps when he panicked.

"No no no no." He grabbed my hand to stop me while making sure he wasn't looking at me. "You look amazing Anja. Keep it on." He looked back at me while he dragged the strap slowly back up to my shoulder. Feeling his finger rub me made my entire body tense and tingle. My breath hitched as he looked down at me meeting my eyes. What is this feeling?.

He pulled his hand back and shoved it into his pocket to pull out his keys. "Let's head out." I nodded.

----

When we pulled up to the address, it was a large house that looked super expensive. White walls, large clean windows everywhere, and so many people. The music was blasting and colored lights bounced off the walls. Clay and I walked farther into the house as I tried to find Samantha and the boys.

"ANJA!" I looked to my left to see Sam sitting on the couch, drinking with some other people, including Nathan, and Jackson. "Over here." She waved me over.

As soon as I got over to the group Jackson grabbed my arm and pulled me to sit next to him, wrapping his arm around my waist. "Hi, babe." He smirked.

"Hi, Jackson." I mumbled.

"She said to not call her that dumbass." Clay spit out.

"Who are you again?" Jackson bit back.

Samantha reached up and grabbed Clay's hand to have him sit with her, shoving a drink in his hand. "Yeah. I've been dying to get to know you."

"I'm Clay." He pushed the drink back to her and sat on the edge of the couch.

She scooted over to snuggle against his side. "You're really hot." She said as she rubbed her hand down his arm.

He grabbed her hand and turned to look into her eyes. "Stop touching me."

"Aggressive. I think that's hot." She winked at him. He just rolled his eyes and looked back at me with concern. I kept trying to push Jackson's hands off me but he wouldn't get the hint. He never did.

"When did you come to Florida?" Nathan asked. He was sitting on the other side of the coffee table with a guy on his lap, sipping something out of his cup.

"I moved here about 2 weeks ago." I admitted.

"Moved here?" Samantha asked. "I never would have thought you'd leave Texas. You loved it there, right?"

"Well... after my contract was voided and you stole my music, I didn't have much of a reason to stay." I responded with a fake smile, almost as fake as hers.

"Oh my god." She laughed along with everyone else in the seated area. "This little one has always had a sense of humor."

"Fiesty too." Jackson said as moved my hair to kiss my neck.

"Please don't do that." I pulled away immediately.

"Come on AJ. I'm just trying to have fun. Let go get a drink." He grabbed my wrist and pulled me off the couch away towards the kitchen. I looked back to see Clay trying to follow but Sam pulled him down as another girl sat down to talk to him as well. Both feeling all over him.

As we made it into the kitchen, he closed the door behind us. "Quieter with the door closed." He laughed. "What do you want to drink?"

"I don't drink."

"Cause you're like 19, right?" I nodded. No. "You know, you look really good tonight." He started walking to me with this gut-wrenching smile. I didn't feel safe as I backed away until I hit a counter. He placed his hand on my hip as he slowly traced his hand up my waist. "The way it squeezes you is driving me crazy. It's like it wants me to rip it off."

I gripped his hand and pulled it away. "Just grab a drink so we can leave."

"Oh don't be a fucking buzz kill, Anja. We're just messing around." His smile held anger with it.

"WE. Aren't doing anything. Especially since you kicked me out of the group and stole my songs." Started to walk away when pulled me back by my waist and pushed me against the counter. That hurt.

"This is fucking why. Whenever we were trying to have fun you would pull this shit. Just have fun for once in your fucking life." He was no longer smiling, no longer sarcastic or laughing. It was just anger. I went paralyzed.

He grabbed my chin to move my face to the side so he could connect to my neck. First leaving slobbery kisses and licks, then dark bruises from his teeth. He gripped my knee and started dragging his hand up my thigh to under my dress where he squeezed my ass. His fingers started to play with my underwear, about to pull them down. I closed my eyes as tears fell, then it stopped. No more touching, or laughing, or breathing. Opened my eyes to Clay standing in front of me looking down at Jackson laying on the floor, passed out.

He turned. "I'm so sorry Anja. I came la-" I jumped forward and wrapped my arms around his neck burying my face into his chest. "It's okay. I'm here." He engulfed his hands around my back.

"What the hell!?" Sam yelled as she stormed into the kitchen towards Jackson followed by a bunch of other party-goers.

Clay pulled me out of his neck and grabbed my hands. "We need to go." He pulled me along with him. The music had been cut off and everyone was watching us in confusion. We rushed to the car and he opened the door to have me sit down. He took off his jacket and laid it over my legs. I looked out the window to see Nathan and Jackson running after us along with a large group of guys, all screaming. He ran to sit in the driver's seat and turned on the car. Racing away I looked behind, the guys were running after the car throwing their cans and bottles.

I turned back around to see my thigh bruising from where he grabbed me. I looked up to Clay, his face was red with rage. He reached his hand over to grab mine. I started balling again but this time because I saw the blood on his knuckles.

"Scheiße. Es tut mir leid. (Shit. I am sorry) " I somehow got out. "You got hurt." I was crying so hard I was losing my American accent.

"No Anja I'm fine. You're the one that got hurt."

"No, you're blutung- bleeding because of me."

"I'm fine. A punch has never hurt me." He was speeding through the streets and turned a 25-minute ride home into a 10-minute one. As soon as we pulled into the garage he hopped out to come to my side.

I pulled on his arm. "Be quiet. I don't want Nick to know." He just nodded and helped me walk upstairs. I didn't really need help but the support was comforting. He had me sit on my bed as he knelt to unclasp my flats. "I can do that you know." He just shook his head as he stood up. He looked down at me for a moment then started to walk away. Out of reflex, I grabbed his sleeve. "Wait. Can I... Can I tell you something?"

He turned around and sat next to me. "You can tell me anything, Anja." His face was so pale and his eyes were red from crying. There was so much worry them, it just made me hurt more.

"I've never told any on this before." Why am I telling him this? He nodded at me while fixing a blanket around my shoulders. "Sophmore year of high school I was raped."

He stopped moving and his eyes widened. "I'm so so sorry."

I shook my head no. "It's fine. I've worked on it a lot. It was at a party like the one tonight. This guy I liked invited me. He was on the lacrosse team and I was so excited to be invited to a party." I laughed at myself. "I tried to get Nick to go with me but he was stressing over a quiz he had the next day. So I went alone, like a fucking idiot." The tears started rolling again. "I got drunk and he found me and..." trailed off at the end. I looked up from my hands to Clay. He was crying with me. "That's why I don't like being touched and why I don't like being around men."

"Anja. Can I... Would you like a hug?" The tears were pouring out of both our eyes. I just nodded and he pulled me in wrapping his arms around my back. He felt warm. He felt safe. He felt like everything I needed in the moment.

A while passed and he peeled back. I didn't want him to. "Can I tell you something I've never told anyone? It's not as bad as yours but maybe we can share?" I nodded my head yes and he continued. "My ex-girlfriend cheated on me. Well, that's not the secret." He laughed. "The secret is why we really broke up. She slept with a lot of people while we were together. Every time I caught her she would do the same thing. She would bring up how big I was compared to her and how I scared her." He clasped his hands together and shook his head. "I know that sounds stupid, but hearing the person I care most about in the world say I scare her... it really hurt. After a while, I realized it was manipulation. She would use our size dynamic to make me feel like I couldn't have any type of negative emotions against her. But the whole reason I'm telling you this is, because the way you would look at me when I make you scared or uncomfortable was the way she would look at me. I want you to know that you should never be scared of me I-I would never hurt you." The tears were streaming down his face as he talked and they just made me cry more even though I had nothing left.

"I'm not scared of you Clay. I've never been scared of you." He just kept shaking his head no like he didn't believe me. "Do-do you want a hug too?"

"Yes please." I moved towards him and he pulled me into his lap. I was sitting with my legs on either side of his as he wrapped his around my lower back pulling me in trying to make us touch as he could. But it wasn't sexual or anything of the sort, just comfort. He buried his face into my chest as he cried more, crying what I no longer could.

I put my hand on the back of his neck and played with his hair as he held me. I felt good. No one had held me that way since I was a child. I was by my mother.

One minute passed, then five, then ten, then I finally pulled him back as his sniffles died down. My chest was wet from his tears, but I didn't mind. He innocently moved his hands from my back to my hips to hold me up better. I moved his hair out of his eyes and cupped his cheek to wipe away his tears. I just smiled at him. I don't want this to end.

"Thank you, Clay. You make me feel safe." I scanned his face. His freckles were hidden by the red of his face and the green of his eyes were being flushed out by the red, tiredness of his sclera. I rubbed my thumb against his soft cheekbone and he leaned into my hand. Our faces moved closer and closer together as we looked into each other's eyes like we were gravitating to each other.

"Anja I-"

Knock Knock. "AJ you back yet?" Nick yelled. "I heard to car pull up." Clay picked me up off his lap as Nick opened the door. Nick's face changed from a smug smile to anger. "What the fuck happened? What the fuck did you do to her?" He yelled with force this time.

"No Nick. I'm fine. Just let me go to bed. I'll tell you tomorrow." I pushed him out of the room while he kept trying to read my face.

"Are you sure your ok?"

"Nick just... please." I was so tired. My voice was barely detectable.

He looked up between Clay and me a few times. "Okay. Fine. But you two are explaining tomorrow." Then he walked away leaving me and Clay alone again.

"Goodnight Anja." He pet my hair. "If you need me, come get me. Okay?" He offered.

I turned and nodded at him. Then he left.