When I got back from my shower, Anja was laying in the middle of my bed. She was snuggling with my comforter. My initial thought was to leave and sleep on the couch, but I was worried she would have another nightmare and I wanted to be there for her. I decided on sleeping on the floor. I went to my closet and pulled out my extra comforter and a blanket then threw them on the ground. I knelt on the bed to grab the pillow Anja wasn't using when I felt a hand grab my shirt. "What are you doing?" She mumbled. "What time is it?"

I looked down and her eyes were barely open, she used her other hand to rub them. "It's about 5 am and I'm just getting a pillow."

"Why? You have one right here?" She patted the one under her head.

"I'm going to sleep on the floor. I didn't mean to wake you up."

I started to get up when she pulled on my shirt. "No, sleep up here." That's enough to convince me. I let out a soft sign and laid down next to her. She let go of my shirt and snuggled into my neck. She fit perfectly. I wrapped my arms around her back and held her, placing a little kiss on her temple then closed my eyes.

****

"What do you mean you've never made waffles before? Why would you have a waffle maker then?" She yelled at me.

"I'm sorry ok!" I laughed out. "My mom cooks for me. I don't do it." She rolled her eyes and turn back to mixing the waffles batter.

"You're such a mama's boy." She mumbled.

I wrapped my arms around her waist and pressed my chest against her back. I bent down to kiss her ear and whispered "Yep."

She pushed her back against me to make me stumble back but I grabbed her hips to hold me up. "No! Stop." She giggled. "What if Nick sees us?"

"So what?"

She turned around in my hands and leaned against the counter. "I just don't want to tell him about this yet. Whatever... this is." She poked my chest for emphasis.

"What do you mean by this?" I poked her back. "I like you, Anja Moore. I really, really like you." I took her hand and kissed her palm. "I want to be your boyfriend."

Her face flushed pink and she was trying to hide the teeth in her smile. "I would love that." She took her hand out of mine and grabbed the base of my throat to pull herself onto her tippy toes and kiss me. I pulled her waist in to kiss deeper. "But," she continued, dropping back to her flat feet, "Nick can't know yet. I want to tell him in private. You know how he is about me."

I sighed. "I know." I went to give her another kiss, then stopped myself. Fuck I want to take her on this counter right now. "So, I'm free today and was wondering if you wanted to go for a park lunch?"

"Like a date?" She teased.

"Exactly like a date." She tapped her lips like she was thinking. I heard steps come from the hall and let go of her, even though I didn't want to.

"What are you guys doing?" Nick asked.

Anja picked up the bowl of batter and poured a scoop into the maker. "Waffles?"

"Woah I love waffles."

"I know." She laughed.

He walked over to Anja, dropping his arms around her shoulders and pulling her into his chest. "We got chocolate chips?" He asked in her ear.

"Sadly no. I checked." She answered.

"I could kill for some coffee right now."

I rolled my eyes. He always complained about my no coffee rule. "Anja, do you want to go?" I asked in an annoyed tone, I didn't mean to sound like that.

She looked at me confused. "Uh... yeh I'll go."

"Woah. Someone didn't sleep well. Where are you guys going?"

"Park lunch," Anja answered.

"I wanna go. It can like when we were kids." He shook her in his arms and she laughed.

"You're not invited." I couldn't help but sound bitter.

"What? Why? Why are you hanging out without me? And what's with the attitude?"

Anja pushed Nick off her back and turned to me, she looked angry as she stared down my eyes. I couldn't keep the contact. "Of course you can come, Nick."

"Yeah!"

****

I drove us to a park about 20 minutes from the house for us to have an early dinner. Anja packed sandwiches and other little snacks for us to enjoy. On the way there Nick called shotgun, forcing her to sit in the back. He keeps pissing me off. I had the radio on when DJ started to talk.

"Heyo Orlando 99.1 listeners. The next song up is the most requested song we've had in a while. Many of you may know it. It has racked up over a quarter of a billion views of youtube in well... less than a month. Those are freaking BTS numbers or something. It's crazy. Anyways here is 'Traitor of the Tribe' by emotionvoid." The music faded in and Anja scoffed in the back.

"You know what's so stupid about this song!" She scooted forward in her seat to get closer to us, throwing her arms on either side of the headrests. "The song has nothing to do about betrayal or a tribe or group or anything. It's about feeling alone. The original song title was 'By Myself'! It's so stupid." I could see her cross her arms and let her back hit the car's seat behind her from my rearview mirror. "Just turn it off please."

I turned off the radio and pulled onto the gravel parking lot of the park. "That works out cause we're here." I hopped out of the car and went to open Anja's car door. Nick did it first, talking shit about emotionvoid the whole time. I tried to push the upset off my arms but it stuck. I hated how they were with each other. He had known her for so long. He knew the things she loved. He knew her family. Her entire childhood was with him. I knew her in all ways I didn't but I really wanted to.

I pulled the basket and blanket out of the trunk and found a spot for us. We sat down and Anja started pulling out the food. It was a nice day. It was a cool 75 degrees and the breeze was light, just enough for my hair to blow across my face. Anja and Nick ate and joked with each other the whole time. I just sat quietly, pissed like an idiot because he was there. After a while, Nick laid down and ended up falling asleep. Snoring the day away right in between me and Anja. It like he was trying to make me angry.

Ding. Anja looked down at her phone and smiled. "Clay, you remember me talking about my friend Perish?" I nodded. "Well, he just texted me. He said finished the song and he sent it to me."

"That's great."

She looked up at me and put down her bag of Chex mix. "You don't sound excited?"

"Yeh. Sorry. I'm just in a bad mood." I responded.

"I can tell." She looked down at Nick snoring, then crawled her way over to sit criss-cross in front of me. "I know you wanted this to be a date." She whispered. "I'm sorry but he loves park lunches. We haven't been hanging out as much recently, I'm always with you."

"So this is my fault." I bite out. She just stared at me, not angry or scared but annoyed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." I was staring at the patterns of the blanket between my legs, too guilty to look up at her.

"I know." She leaned forward and took my hand to hold. "I'm just worried about him, okay? Us dating is a lot. We're both his best friends and now you and I have a relationship outside of him. I don't want him to get lonely or feel like he has to take sides or anything like that."

"I understand." And I did, but I was caught on the thought of How do they really feel about each other? Knowing someone so well for so long makes it hard not to love them. That's exactly what happened to me and Maria.

"We can hang out tonight okay?" She leaned forward more, putting her face under mine to make me smile. "We can listen to the song and maybe continue what we started the other night?"

"I'd love that." I pulled her in by her hand to kiss her. She smiled into it.

"But slow." She whispered. It had been 3 days since we kissed in my room, since then I was trying hard to be gentle about everything we did.

"That's gonna be hard. I don't do anything slowly." I teased.

She scoffed. "Right... I forgot I'm with Mr. Speedrunner." With me. It made me go fuzzy inside.

"We can go as slow as you want Anja. I won't rush you. I promise." I responded soft and serious this time.

"I know. I trust you." I interlocked my fingers with hers and used my other hand to move the hair behind her ear. We had been out there so long the sun was starting to set. Her black hair was soaking up the orange color of the sky and I could see my reflection in her eyes. I loved having her so close to me. I could see every inch of her beautiful face and smelled the sweet citrus of her hair. I pulled her into a soft kiss on her forehead. Then her nose, her cheek. Finally catching her lips. She giggled at my soft touches. "He might wake up." She whispered.

"Nah. It's okay." I wrapped my hands around her waist to turn her around and let her lay between my legs, her back against my chest. We sat and watched the sun fall as we played with each other's fingers. It was bliss.