From the title, I think you all know what this is about.

This will be said in all of my books so you only need to read it once.

I didn't update yesterday and I think you can guess why.

Their exact words were "Did you see the newest Technoblade video? I'm not sure if it's real or not, it has to be fake right...?"

I immediately knew something was wrong. They have never used "..." at the end of any message they have ever messaged me.

I told them I would watch it and they told me to message them after.

I refreshed my YouTube page and there the notification was. I was confused at the title.

I then proceeded to watch the video. By the end of it I was in shock.

I messaged that friend back with the message "Holy shit." I then told them I needed to deal with this alone.

I was sobbing by now.

Technoblade is, or now I guess was, my all time favorite YouTuber. I wasn't a crazy stan or anything, but I enjoyed his content more than anyone else's. He was always able to make me laugh and when he said he got cancer I was heartbroken.

I tried to stay on the bright side and hoped he was getting over it. I was convinced that Technoblade would never die.

I sat in my chair sobbing. I turned off my PC and grabbed my favorite stuffed animal and went to my parents room. For the first time, I needed them when I was crying.

Keep in mind that I am a very independent person and I hate every time I have ever had to rely on them. This was not normal.

I came into their room and woke them up. I then immediately started to have a panic attack. The only words I could say were "you're gonna think it's stupid!"

It was around 9:30 pm and this panic attack lasted until around 10:15.

My parents eventually were able to figure out what was wrong after I had said "he's dead." My dad did some research on who he was. I don't think he really cared that much.

My mom ended up taking me back to my room and slept in my room to make me feel better. I woke up 3 times in the night, each for a period of about 30 minutes.

Now I am basically numb. I expect that's a depression thing. I can't cry about it but the pain is still there. There is still a small part of me that wants to believe this is all one big prank but I know that it's not the case.

I can't even imagine how hard this is for his family and friends who were closer to him than I was. If this was my reaction I can't imagine what their reactions were.

I know that people sometimes go to levels where they hurt or even kill themselves because of something like this. Please don't. It's not worth it and we will get over it. Together. There are hotlines if you need them.

If Techno was mentioned in this book I will not change it. He will stay in it.

Technoblade is gone but never forgotten.

I guess in a way he never will die so. . .

TECHNOBLADE NEVER DIES!