Even though I heard everything he said, I felt numb. I didn't try to push away his hand when he hold my hand. I didn't try to refute his repulsive statement. I didn't try to throw away the things which he stuffed in my hand. I didn't tried to do anything.. I simply let him to speak or do anything he wants..

BECAUSE

I'm tired of everything.

I'm tired to speak.

I'm tired of hearing snide remarks.

I'm tired of weeping.

I'm tired of being end up as a failure.

I'm tired of getting disappointment.

I'm tired of getting hurt again and again.

I'm tired of proving everyone that I'm not a slut.

Already I'm labelled as a slut in this society. I can't change it no matter what I do. If I claim to be a damn virgin, no one will believe me. Most of them gets the moniker of prostitute when they lose their virginity, but I acquired it before I lost my virginity. I will never be able to live a family woman's life. As a punishment for the mistake I did not commit, my marriage has stalled, mama is in critical condition and also I lost my job. Now no one will lend me a money or give me a job. What will I do now to save mama life ?. Anyhow, I have to find a way to save mama.

The only way I have now is to comply with the desire of hospital MD. I don't felt any ache in my heart and didn't even shed a drop of tears when I took the decision to lose my virginity. However, what I did next astounded even more. I smiled.. I just smiled. I smiled until tears gathered in my eyes. I smiled until I lost the strength to walk. I smiled until I fell on the floor of hospital corridor. At the instant my smile vanished, tears begin to find the route out of my eyes like a falls. Despite the outpouring of my emotions beyond my control, I tried to push back my tears by smiling widely as I removed my spectacles. I wiped my tear strained cheek. Passers-by looked at me with a variety of emotions, including confusion, pity, and disgust, as a result of my strange behaviour.

Subsequently clutching my emotions, I wore spectacles again and get up from the floor and begin to walk away from there. My steps came to a halt as I felt a hand on my shoulder. I remained motionless, without moving to see who it was. A lady came in front of me and asked me in worried tone,

"Miss. Are you okay ?."

I nodded affirmatively for her quiry. At the moment I replied to her quiry, she breathed a sigh of relief and informed me while stretching out her hand with shopping bag in front of me,

"You forget this bag on the floor.. Here, have it."

I looked at the shopping bag with a ridicule smile. Regardsless of numbness I felt in my heart, I told her as I extend my hand to get the bag..

"I'm sorry.. I just forgot it."

"No need to say sorry dear.. I was just afraid that something happened to you when I saw you crying.."

Regardless of my extend hand to get the handbag, she continued her blethering..

"You know I thought to call my friend akash to console you. He is the one who can make me smile in whatever situation.. Therefore, I'm very sure that he can make you smile as well.. Actually, he isn't merely a friend of mine."

She told last sentence in low voice after checking around if anyone is paying attention to our conversation.. Then, she whispered in my ears,

" uhm.. !!.. Now we are being friends with benefits.. Truth be told he does not loving me now but he will do it soon.. After that, we will get married.."

After saying it, she smiled brightly and continued her speech,

" Is I'm over talking ?. Actually, I'm like this.. Many times akash adviced me to stop this habit of mine.. Still I couldn't.. Fuck !!.. See I'm such a annoy like akash scold.. I'm talking non sensely without introducing myself.. By the way, myself is lavanya.. May I know what's your name ?."

As she was chattering constantly, I'm looking at her with open mouth in amusement. Can someone talk this much to the person who they just met ?.. Impossible.. Did she is mentally affected patient ?. May be so. I think she became mentally ill due to love failure. May be, her friend akash would have cheated her. What a pity.. She is looking beautiful yet god has given her this punishment.. Regardless of my compassion look, she smiled cheekly and wink her eyes in childlish manner.. Due to her childlish act, a smile cracked on my lips. She made me to smile. After a long time, a real smile blossomed on my face.. Its not like an usual formal, forced, broken, hurtful smile.

In fact, it's amazing and astonishing thing that, when some unknown person came and speak to us voluntarily in our critical situation and makes us to smile without any worries.

My thoughts are interrupted by snapping sound and lavanya voice,

" Oye.. Hellooo.. Are you okay ?.. Can you see me ?. I just ask your name, for that you gone to the dreamworld."

I smiled again for her teasing remarks and replied her with a smile,

"Yes, I'm okay now.. Thank you for it. And my name is harshika. Nice to meet you lavanya."

She smiled brightly like a blooming flower and offered me the shopping bag with a beautiful smile.. Then, unexpectedly she hugged me tightly that, I felt suffocated in her grasp, and she exclaimed,

"Very nice to meet you, Harshika.. Can we be friends ?."

"Sure.. lavanya," I said as I struggled to free myself from her clutches.

"Wow.. Thats cool honey.. Come, let's go.. I will introduce akash to you.. He would be happy to know that I got new friend.."

After saying it, she begin to drag me with her without giving any excuses to me to denie her. Doubt begin to arise in my mind when she pulled me towards chairman office. I got suspicion if her friend akash would be hospital MD. My suspicion was confirmed when she was about to open his office door. The thought that he would insult me in front of lavanya made me to pulled out my hand from her grip forcefully. Before she could enquiry me for my strange behaviour, I stated..

"Sorry lavanya.. I have to go now.. "

Without waiting for her reply, I walked away from her speedily like a crazy woman.. I don't want to see disgust in lavanya eyes too after knowing about me.. She is only person who talked to me causually and even thought to friend with me, other than my family, I want don't to disappoint her.. And also I don't want her to know that the person she is loving madly is a cheater who would sleep around with any woman.. I don't want to see her getting hurt.. Even though I don't want to see her getting hurt, I know that surely she was going to get hurt very badly one day after learning about akash real face.