My heart quenched with pain and tears and I couldn't control myself from crying out loud. I held onto his collar and yelped in pain...

How can he bear this pain?

How could she bear the pain?

Why did she leave him? It must have felt like she is loosing a part of her. She left behind a part of her. How.. How.? How could she leave him on the cliff and let go off him?

Why did she let go off herself?

" stop crying " I heard his hoarse voice near my neck and I hugged him more. I don't want to take away his pain... I want to be a part of his pain with him....

" lakshmi..." he called me again and made me look up at his face.

I pushed his hands off my face and snuggled my face in his shirt. I crumpled it with my hands and straightened it and again crumpled his shirt...

" how can you...

how can you bear it? " I asked choking on my own saliva.

Meera was blind with revenge and even though arjun had lend him his hand for her to hold so that they both can escape their fate, but it was too late by the time meera realized it....

Why... Why...

Why did the fate play such a cuel game with 2 people....

I feel soo much pain in my heart that I can't control it. I hugged arjun around his neck and kept my chin on his head. I felt wetness on my shirt and I knew it...that arjun is letting away his tears... His tears burnt my skin and heart...

" cry...cry your heart out arjun

No one is here to stop you

Let out your pain and screams that you held back.... Let them out arjun...

Let them out.... " I said crying along with him for their love . I felt hands on my back and he pushed me more into him and held me tightly. He cried out the pain.... I understood one thing , that he kept it all along till now... This was what which made him what he is now...

( But I felt that there is something more which he isn't saying...)

I looked at his face and cupped them in my hands

" arjun,

I kn....i know that your pain wouldn't leave you with these tears,

But remember one thing,

If you are in pain, tell me... I'll be there with you to share it " I said and touched my forehead with his, seeing those surfing emotions in his orbs which I have never seen in him...

This is the real him.

I looked into her eyes, brimming with more tears and tear stained cheeks. She cried out for my pain

She cried out for my love

She cried out for my loss

I didn't cry all these years, I have kept those locked within me so that meera stays within me... But today I let out those tears... Those tears which have been inside my heart since years after she left me....

I couldn't even comfort lakshmi. Her words made me cry more.

" arjun,

I kn....i know that your pain wouldn't leave you with these tears,

But remember one thing,

If you are in pain, tell me... I'll be there with you to share it " as soon as those words left her mouth, I felt that this lone heart has someone to mourn along with..... For the first after years, I felt someone belong to me... Very close to my heart....

I'll never let this go

I'll never let you go

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's been a week since lakshmi has talked to me properly. She answers me curtly or with a word or two and leaves. I know that she ain't ignoring me, but she is sad. I could see it on her face. She stopped smiling and is always in a daze. I know, I'm the reason behind that.

I shouldn't have said her about me or my past. One thing I have understood about lakshmi is that she is very emotional. She is still mourning over meera. Over this last week, I have started feeling protective of her.

She is working silently in the kitchen preparing lunch for us. She is not allowing me to enter kitchen, I remember we have talked about she preparing breakfast and me preparing the rest of the meals for day but now she dosent even allow me into the kitchen. Even if I try to help her, she wouldn't allow me to.

I looked at her moving here and there around the kitchen and I went stood behind her. She is again in a daze. I can see that. I switched off the stove and she turned behind and looked at my face. Though her face is emotionless, I know what she is thinking inside that little brain of hers....

I shouldn't have said about meera to her even after seeing the way how she cried seeing that animated jungle movie on the television in her room... I sighed and she was about to turn on the stove but I lifted her up in my arms and took her to hall room.

If it would have been any other time, she would have fought back but now she just snuggled into my arms quitely.... She is depressed...

I sat down on the couch and she was staring at her fingers.

" you know that what you are doing is affecting your health " I said but she kept quite.

" you are getting depressed day by day little wife .

Past is past .

But I don't want to see you like this because of my past.

It makes me regret seeing you that why have I opened up myself to you.

You are getting me worried little one.

Tell me now ,

Do you want to cry every day

and make me feel more sad

And make our future sad too? " I said trying to explain her how it feels,

it feels like I'm dying piece by piece seeing her like this... Like a corpse.

She nodded a small 'no' and then snuggled into my shirt.

" look at me and say lakshmi " I said authoritatively and she looked up at me. I could melt into those chocolate orbs.

" sorry " she said softly and I hugged her tight.... How can anyone be soo innocent? her single word has melt my heart... She is like my caffeine in my dark coffee... Or maybe more than that....

We stayed like that for a moment until we heard cries of baby. We immediately got up and went running to her room. We were out of breath by the time we reached the room door. We barged inside the room at the same time and lakshmi immediately took him in her arms.

He stopped within seconds and started laughing. Okay.

Was that a play?

This kid knows how to pretend in such a young age... Not to forget he is only months old.

I looked at lakshmi and she also had the same expression as mine.

I guess we both are having the same thoughts....

We laughed along with baby...

It's been 2 months since everything went back to normal. In this time period, I have seen another face of arjun, the caring and loving one.

I'm stuck to him like glue.

I irritate him, scold him....

But love him aloooot... I don't know what is love but I can't stay without arjun and I named this bond as love.

I'm playing with Ibbu now.

Yes, we have named our baby last month according to rituals and also according to what Mrs. Afroz desai wanted. I have read the journal about their love story. She wanted to name him Ibraheem and so did Anil for his wife's wish, wanted to name his son as Ibraheem.

Now our son's name is

'Aryan Atharva Ibraheem Singh Rajput ' . I know it's quite big but what to do.... Arjun wanted to name him atharva and I wanted to name him Arya .

So finally it came out to be this big. Hope my son wouldn't have problem in writing his name on the answer sheet. 😜

And not to forget the doljabi ceremony, we kept soo many items in front our baby on a cloth on the floor, but what my baby did was out of our minds. He just grabbed onto the cloth and pulled all the items towards him in a single pull .

My child is the most luckiest one in the whole universe...

Right now I'm playing with him and I felt a cramp in my lower abdomen.

Okay....

Not too okay!!!

Shit!

Mensus!!!

Noooooooo

I kept the baby aside and looked around the room. I pressed on my stomach due to immense pain. I took a pad and went to washroom.

I came out and looked at baby staring at me and rose hands for me to take him in my arms.... Not now baby... Not now.... Your mama is dying with pain.... I mentally groaned...

I lied on bed beside the baby and called arjun loudly. He must be in kitchen now. Preparing dinner for us.

Within seconds he came up running and he was out of breaths, panting heavily.... He looked worried... Did I call out that loud? Or that horrible?

I indicated him to come to me and he did,I took rasgulla, gave him to arjun.

He looked confused and then he looked worried.

" take him

I can't look after him....

Mensus " I said and curled up myself into a ball.

Arjun left the room with baby in one hand and crib in the other hand.

I curled up more. God plz take away this pain.... Why should only girls have mensus... Let my husband have for one month and I will have the next month.... Husband and wife share everything Na.... Let him share this with me.....

After god knows how many minutes, I felt someone lifting me up. I know it must be arjun... His wild minty cologne..... Something I can recognize even if I'm a mile away... OK ok I guess my brain ain't working properly...

He took me to his room and made me settle on the bed. He sat beside me and fed me rice with papu. Perfect. I ate like a starving dino. Then he fed me with hot gulabjamun.... It melted in my mouth and I moaned in bliss.

After feeding me, he ate and then left the room with an empty tray.

I looked around the room and saw my baby peacefully sleeping in the crib. I felt the bed dip and looked to my right and saw arjun sitting close to me. He lifted my shirt up and then kept a hot water pack.... Oh my god oh my god...

I'm feeling heaven on earth.

This guy beside me is my guardian devil. After some time, I felt uncomfortable with the pack and removed it. I felt a shooting pain and balled up myself.

" lakshmi

Take a pill! Why do you always do this? It will just relieve your pain "

He said with concern on his face and I nodded a no. I would never like to take a pill for minute stuff...

I heard sounds from his phone and I ignored it. But suddenly I heard someone in the phone saying

".....massage her lower stomach in circular motion, this would relive the pain....."

I turned to him to only look at him keenly looking into the phone as if he will eat the person in the phone...

Hats off to his concentration level.

My thoughts were disturbed as soon as I felt his hands pulling me to him and my back touched his front. He kept his hand in front of my stomach and then started massaging my lower abdomen with his large hand. It was warm and soothing, the movements of his hands really decreased the pain.

I snuggled more into him and I felt his breath on my neck.

~~~Only the sounds of our breaths mingled with sounds of beetle from the night forest could be heard~~~

The early morning rays deep fried my skin and I caught hold of the cloth beneath me and snuggled more inside... Wait...

Why do I feel like my bed is moving?

I opened my eyes and looked down at white cloth. My bedsheet color is brown na... I thought and raised my head up to look at arjun who is sleeping peacefully....

So, the whole night I was sleeping on him?

I looked at his messy hair and half bun. His hair had dark brown tinge in it... It looks cool. His eyelashes...

No words to describe them...

Actually I can't find words to describe him, he is ' the ' perfect male whom I had ever seen in real life....

I looked down at our bodies and I noticed that I just covered half of his body... Ofc, he is like a water drum and I'm like a water bottle.

He opened his eyes sensing my movements and he smiled looking at me.... Awww.... This is like a dream...

" what is my little wife thinking? " he asked in his morning raspy voice.

I guess this voice should be censored.

" that whether I should take your responsibility or not " I said fake acting, Ofc it's a double meaning dialogue.

" you have to! " he said a little loud with a shocked expression as if I have really done something to him.

This guy deserves Oscar for overacting.

" but u know that I don't have to..

It's common these days.

Don't stick to me and get lost " I said trying to be a man and he is acting like a weak pitiful woman.

" but.... but... Who will take me after yesterday night?

You can't do this to me

You can't do this to us...

You know you love me " he said and I was stuck to the last words...

I looked into his eyes and he stared into mine. There are soo many things we want to let out...

" there's dust in your eyes " I said and he looked taken back for a second.

Wait, what did I say?

" there's drool near your mouth " he said and I immediately rubbed it off and ran to washroom and started laughing....

I came out after cleaning myself and he was already fresh... Maybe he cleaned up himself in the other rooms. He has a smile on his face and it was too contagious for me to not to smile....

I turned around to look at the baby and he was already wide awake and looking at both of us as if he is watching a movie... Wait a minute.. From when was this kid awake?

He is smiling sheepishly... Okay... Why do I feel like this little kid has matured far beyond his age!

I took him in my arms and was about to get out of the room, until I saw arjun just standing there and was in a daze. I went to him silently and kissed on his cheek and went out of the room fast, before that guy starts embarrassing me...

This must be my 31st kiss... You can call me shameless but I don't feel a little bit of shame... I love to kiss my hubby whenever he is stressed or happy or lost in daze or overthiniking or cares about me and blah blah blah...

So it's like basically I don't need a reason to kiss him. Hehehe

I made baby take a bath and by the time I was done with my bath and dressing up, I looked up at my clock to show 9:20am . Classes time.

Online classes it is...

I sat down preparing myself for the war....with my sleep. Sometimes even though the classes are interesting, we tend sleep....thats lazy human nature which can't be eradicated...

After a cruciating 2 hours of class, I lied flat on bed and my son mimicked the same by lying on my back.... He is my sanity... My Ibbu...

I groaned in Hunger,

Wait... I ate breakfast... Vada...

Shit! Arjun prepared and fed me too just an hour back... How could I ignore the fact that he was feeding me while I'm listening to class !?

I should have prepared breakfast... He is making lunch and dinner everyday..

I took rasgulla in my arms and he pulled my hair. This kid... I always feel like he punishes me for what ever I do wrong or forget.

He is my 2rs/- packet of karma whom I carry around on my hip...

As soon as we reached the kitchen, he started wriggling in my grip and raised his both hands towards arjun who is cooking lunch. He started babbling and arjun took him in his arms after cleaning his hands...

I took his place and continued chopping tomatoes...

Arjun stood beside me and kept our boy on the kitchen slab in front of us.

" how was the class " he asked

" it was good " I said and continued cooking.

I looked at Ibbu, who showed the primary symptoms of starting to cry and I lifted him up in my arms and started blabbering like him...

So that he would stop but suddenly I felt a hit on my face....something powdery and I shut my eyes immediately...

This pumpkin kid or mine! threw flour on my face! I heard laugh from my other side and I looked at arjun who busted out laughing more. He is real Godzilla! Like father like son!

Always laugh on this poor mother!!

He took baby from my hands and I moved aside to wash my face.

Suddenly I heard a yelp and looked at arjun who was hit with flour!

I looked at my babie's other hand which had flour on it... Damn! His both hands had flour!

I started laughing out monsterously and I laughed more even though I couldn't laugh because I had to laugh!

Revenge yaar revenge..

" that's my son " I said taking him from arjuns arms and this kid held onto arjun's neck like a sloth...

" that's my kid " he said and I huffed loosing the war.